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Two Jokes Deserve a Third
stevens68 14 Reviews 543 reads
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The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in.  The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a
Bitch!"

"Son,  I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"
"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a Bitch fish!"
"Really?  Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!"
Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster. "Father, that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen."

"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it?"  
"Why, eat it! Of course You've never tasted anything as good as Son of a
Bitch!"

Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister  Mary inquired about his trip.

"Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"
Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!"

"It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is, a Son of a Bitch
fish!"

"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?"

Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to
visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for his dinner.

"I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch," she said.

As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.
"What are you doing Sister?"

"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the new Bishop's
Dinner."

"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"

"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a Bitch Fish."

"Really?  Well in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and
that Son of a Bitch can be the main course!"

"Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch."

On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The
Friar had prepared an excellent meal. The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent.

The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"
"I caught that Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest.
"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the Sister.
The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bitch using a special
recipe!"

The new Bishop looked around at each of them.
A big smile crept across his face as he said,

"You Fuckers are my kind of people!"

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly and painfully, up onto a stool at the counter. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split.

The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?'

'No,' he replied, 'Arthritis.'
__________________________________________

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'

Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'
'
The doctor replied, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful.' "

The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and proceeded to reel it in.  The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the size of that Son of a
Bitch!"

"Son,  I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled for!"
"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a Son of a Bitch fish!"
"Really?  Well then, help me land this Son of a Bitch!"
Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the monster. "Father, that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've ever seen."

"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do with it?"  
"Why, eat it! Of course You've never tasted anything as good as Son of a
Bitch!"

Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory. While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister  Mary inquired about his trip.

"Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"
Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary, "Father!"

"It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is, a Son of a Bitch
fish!"

"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that big Son of a Bitch?"

Sister Mary informed the priest that the new Bishop was scheduled to
visit in a few days and that they should fix the Son of a Bitch for his dinner.

"I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch," she said.

As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar walked in.
"What are you doing Sister?"

"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch for the new Bishop's
Dinner."

"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please watch your language!"

"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a Bitch Fish."

"Really?  Well in that case, I'll fix up a great meal to go with it, and
that Son of a Bitch can be the main course!"

"Let me know when you've finished cleaning that Son of a Bitch."

On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything was perfect. The
Friar had prepared an excellent meal. The wine was fine, and the fish was excellent.

The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where did you get it?"
"I caught that Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the proud priest.
"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the Sister.
The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a Bitch using a special
recipe!"

The new Bishop looked around at each of them.
A big smile crept across his face as he said,

"You Fuckers are my kind of people!"

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