I swear this board reminds me of high school sometimes only far more drama.
So now it is a commandment that no client is to mention a provider from the past on the board? COME ON PEOPLE. Whats the point of having a "discussion board" if the "in board rules" keep getting so damn picky? So if someone asks for a service they get the "do a search".... if someone asks if anyone has seen so and so "don't bring up past providers" ENOUGH ALREADY A lot can change if a hobbiest has been out of the game for a while. Numbers change like I change socks, providers can stop taking new clients etc. If a person had a good time with someone 2 years ago and wants to put a feeler out WHATS THE BIG FRIGGEN DEAL? Advertisements stop going up for providers because they may not want to take risks on new people but that DOESN'T mean they may not want to rekindle a relationship they had a while back and reviews stop because theirs no point in posting multiple reviews for the same person. Some people will just throw out a name... the provider has her own choice to respond via pm or not. If she recognizes the guys handle or just wants to find out who he is to jog her memory she has the right to do so or not to do so. It also has the ability of another provider seeing it and telling the provider about it and if she remembers the client and chooses to get back to him its her choice. I am sure there is a TON of providers who think about a client from the past and say "I wonder what happened to him" but she doesn't have the ability or platform to go on the board and say " so has any provider seen joe smith lately?". Where as by someone putting up a blinker it can ad to her business by getting back in touch with a blast from the past. If the guy isnt giving out her home incall address, specific info, her real name then what harm can it do? She is now a ghost but by just throwing out her old name and who he saw her with it gives him an opportunity to see someone he enjoyed IF SHE SO CHOOSES....the ball by all of these posts are in fact in the providers court. The provider has her choice to go off radar or on radar and her reasons for going off can have nothing to do with the client asking about her. If she remembers him, pm's him asking who he was and it rings a bell and she wants to set something up, its her right to do so...the same right she has NOT to contact him if she so chooses. But now by people getting flammed by asking a simple question she wont even have the opportunity to decide and it may actually take future roses off her table. If a guy wants to post asking for a service in a certain area for gods sake let him without berating him about not searching....some providers switch schedules the same way we do. It saves time by not having to contact 8 providers and waiting for a response. Instead a guy can just say when, where and what hes looking for and see who's available and make a choice. If a guy does a search and sees she available in (insert burb here) but hes looking for a appointment in (insert burb here) hes not going to contact her. But if he posts it and she sees it and says to herself well I am actually going to be there that day so maybe we can set it up it helps him out by getting a response from someone he didn't even think about and can get a client for the provider she also didn't even know about. It's a contact sport and the more we restrict the contact the more everyone loses. bottom line if the in board politics keeps up the way it is the threads will all funnel to becoming the same... then we will see the "same thread was posted 4 minutes ago" time and time again. Let the board be the board. moderators are here for a reason and if they feel something doesn't fit the bill or may harm or hurt a person they wont allow the post. If you don't like what they're saying then just ignore it but don't intimidate people by jumping on every post or bash every thread just because you feel its unnecessary. Is this rant the definition of irony? maybe but I just felt a rant was in order and hopefully some people can take a deep breath and see where im coming from. If I get bashed I get bashed and I do have respect for a lot of you on here and I sincerely hope you understand where im coming from with this. I am not saying this to bash or berate but to just have everyone take a deep breath and see this entire community needs to relax a little bit and stop with the high school drama class and let things be. Just my 2 pennies -l4
This board has not had real moderators for some time. When this board did have them, they did an excellent job of looking out for everyone. That is not the case anymore. Questionable posts pop up all the time on TER. This rarely occurred when the volunteer moderators were around.
Have you ever met a provider that had a client send death threats? Have you ever met a provider who had a client dig up their real info? Have you ever met a provider who was outed to her family? I have and the crazed clients have been TER members. Walk in their shoes and imagine being afraid to leave your home. These ladies delist from TER and try to move on. Yet, stalkers will stop at nothing to find out information.
In the past, discussion on delisted providers was not allowed on TER. This provided a safety measure for these ladies to move on. The new TER [for some unknown reason] has allowed discussion on delisted providers. Horrible move on their part.
Here's another thing...if a provider wanted to maintain contact with you, she would have. This is not match.com and too many guys can not grasp that concept. If you want a "real" relationship, date someone in the civy world.
BTW - there has been drama on TER for a very long time. If you expect it to go away, you are kidding yourself.
I get what you're saying.
however just to bring a point up... some of our lives change as well. Clients move on, get faithful, delete accounts etc so to say a provider can keep in touch if she wants isn't always the case. However if she just wants to keep things closer and sees a post and contacts him and he gives her his old info then it can in fact help.
I completely can see the stalker aspect of it. If someone is fishy or she doesn't recall what hes saying then by god she shouldn't open that can of worms.
I guess I look past the crazy aspect since id like to think im not one and can't relate to their twisted way of thinking. And it is sad how someone can take something that's supposed to be fun and make it scary.
you make some good points and I would like to think I made some as well... I just enjoy looking at things at different angles and perspectives but then again I am not in your shoes and don't have your first hand stories to sway my point of view.
And yes I can see the drama isnt going to go away...thats human life. Its still fun to rant and debate once and a while.
-l4
And just to add one more thing. I wasn't on the board back in the day so I cant speak from first hand knowledge as to the changes that have been made from the moderating aspect.
All I can speak of is from my own experience and I have had some posts and threads get rejected because they were about topics outside of the hobby. I myself like variety and feel a message board should be that otherwise it gets boring and repetitive. So whether someone wants to bring up the weather or sports or food I was a little shocked when a thread I submitted bringing up such topics were rejected and thought because of that the moderators had a tight hold on things
He knows as well as the old moderators did about the abundance of creeps that cause trouble behind the scenes. Some of the stories were really sad about women getting stalked. Some sick hobbyists have created numerous accounts to try to out providers, only to be banned again and again and again.
There are numerous boards for general conversation on other subjects. Check the menu under "TER general boards"
I appreciate the tip. I just think the best thing for my own sanity going forward is to keep most of my random thoughts in my head. Looking back, a large majority of my threads and posts should have been kept to myself but boredom sometimes gets the better of a person. I joined this site a while ago to keep a low profile , meet some good providers, have a good time. Not create conflict or get my boxers in a bunch over issues. I think the best thing for me and my personality type is to go back to what brought me here and keep it simple and let the good times roll. This site has brought me a bunch so far so why sour a sweet thing?
No harm no foul.
enjoy the rest of your weekend and the soggy week to come
-l4f
very good point, I would love to see some of my old clients I lost contacts of
Where is all the flaming? What a let down
I don't see the problem with people posting here with an ISO for recommendations. Sometimes you post here and a provider responds so you go with her, makes it easy. Or someone responds with their favorite provider who has what the other person is looking for. That's what the board is for, networking and connecting.
I mostly disagree on the other subject. Mentioning a provider from the past who you had good memories of is one thing. However, people with no reviews who you haven't seen before asking about some provider because they've already tried finding her? And they can't because her website is deleted or hasn't been updated in ages, or her phone is disconnected, not answering e-mails, etc.? That's a big red flag. Why would it be so important to track down one provider who clearly has ended her associations with this industry? If someone disappears it's because they don't want to be found. People constantly trying to find them is weird and creepy. If it's that damn important to find one provider from years ago, then try discreetly PMing some others who have reviewed her, or maybe PMing a provider if they knew her. Constant public posts about providers who are long gone is not "high school drama" and one client's "roses" isn't going to make or break her even if she does happen to be around under a new name/number.
ign up for an English course at a junior college, learn how to use punctuation, what a run-on sentence is, and some proper grammar and sentence structure. Then come back and post something readable
Hahahaha...thanks for the useless commentary joe. U used a run -on sentence to tell someone else not to. I wanted to ask if this was English class, but it obviously is not! If a provider wants u, she will contact u! It is sad that with the thousands of providers out there people still want to reconnect with someone they last saw years ago. It is as though they actually believe they had a connection or a special bond with them. That's part of the service u pay for!!! I already know someone is gonna tell me I am full of crap, which is fine...u keep dreaming the provider really does love u. She is just afraid of getting hurt by ur rejection if she opens her heart to u so she just cries herself to sleep each night wondering what could have been. To me the entire enjoyment of the hobby is to get a taste of everything. A never ending search to find the perfect provider. And once u find someone close enough, let her know if she ever drops from site u would want to maintain something when she comes back. If she calls u, so does she, if she doesn't, move on! She's not a girlfriend that broke up with u, she's a paid service!