Thoughts, tribulations, and observations on abstinence:
*"Blue Balls" are not a medical myth...I have proof *Morning "engorgements" take longer to subside, and I often need to douse my crotch with cold water to avoid tell-tale tent. *I'm downtown often making deliveries, and the warmer the weather, the less women wear. My eyes work independently of one another, like one of those lizards on the Animal Planet, with one on the road and one looking for upskirts. *Need to be cautious when showering and lathering-up Mr. Happy and his two pals, lest they become angry and spit at me. *My mettle and resolve will be severely tested next Saturday when I'm at a bachelor party at "Blackjack's" nekkid arena. Just what I need now: a flock of nude women encircling me like vultures swooping down upon carrion. Maybe I can hold them at bay if I tell them of my journey into abstinence.
I leave you with this pointed aphorism as told by Jon Stewart: "The only way I'll never have sex again is if I somehow wake-up without a penis--and even then I'd give it a shot."
Stay tuned folks; this could be interesting.........
A new young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.
So, the new monk goes to the abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up. In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son".
So, he goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscript is held in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years.
Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes downstairs to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall. His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?"
With a choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word is celebrate, not celibate ..."
since your original post was on March 28th and you said your appointment was 8 weeks from that day,you cannot be on week 4 (even if it seems like it has been). Dog years (or in this instance, dog days) do NOT count!!!
Its only WEEK #2!!!
But just think how good its going to feel when you feal her warm wet lips and mouth around your... *wink*
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