Just about every lady who has replied to this thread, and every lady mentioned as doing this is someone I have met. And I can name a few more. So, despite the fact that I have not done any strap on play (I expect to try one of these days because I feel I should, not because it really turns me on), it seems to me that most ladies will do it. But that may just be because of my (twisted) preferences? Let's just say I am pretty GFE romantic, but I like strong, adventurous women.
You may have to provide the strap on for some, and it would be very considerate if you tried to clean yourself out a bit before you do it, but otherwise I think many ladies would find it a bit of a relief to be doing the probing and not getting probed. Not saying some won't charge you a little extra, but that has not been my impression. Any lady who says she does some light fetish work or BDSM is likely to go there. And the nice thing is you can ask her in an email if she does a little dom stuff because you have something in particular in mind. That is an okay question because BDSM play is not necessarily illegal, though penetration is so I would not ask specifically about strap ons.
With 7+ yrs experience (incl. teaching a couple of workshops), most folks who find themselves at the business end of my harness would be hard-pressed to differentiate me from a bio male. I'm also a fan of ass-to-ass, having several double-enders in my arsenal of eros
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