Recently a member of the Boston board community posted regarding his frustration with a local agency. According to the poster, he was refused services because he is black. Other threads relevant to this topic have appeared this week on the Florida, Boston, Atlanta and National boards.

This topic goes beyond the issue of racism. Some would say that providers should see everyone. We know that, realistically, this is not the case. Some ladies impose age restrictions or weight or other restrictions related to physical appearance as well as race restrictions. What is the answer?

A. See everybody or get out of the business.

B. The other restrictions are okay but restrictions based on race are not.

C. It’s her body; she can impose whatever restrictions that she feels necessary.

D. The answer is C but she must tell us about it upfront.

E. [Your solution]

This is a hot button topic without question. Take a look at the existing threads.

http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=19377&boardID=9&page=6

http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=77725&boardID=12&page=1

http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=7407&boardID=16&page=1

http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=15420&boardID=18&page=1

http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=19878&boardID=9&page=1

I would like to invite everyone who has an opinion on this topic to a chat in the Boston chat room next Wednesday, February 18th @ 9:00 P.M. ET/ 6:00 P.M. PT. (If you’re located in another time zone and you’re confused, just enter the chat room the night before. At least you’ll be guaranteed a good seat.

thirsty

People choose who they see whether it's the provider or the hobbyist.  There will always be someone who prefers white to black, thin to heavy, able-bodied to physically challenged, etc.  

This hobby is all about preference and choice.  I'm not saying its right or wrong for a provider to turn down someone for her own reasons, but it is her choice and her right.  On the other hand, we as providers are selected and passed over for the same reasons.  I am sometimes passed over because I am black, not thin, or too short.  Can I complain?  No, because the hobbyist is paying money for sevices so he has a right to choose.  So, can a hobbyist legitimately complain about a provider who turns him away because she has that same right??  Not really...it's the provider's time and services (and body) for sale (or rent! lol)  and she can choose who she wants however she wants.  That's why there are vast differences in rates, screening requirements, and available providers.  

Besides, why would a hobbyist want to spend time with someone who for whatever reason is not comfortable in his presence anyway, whether he is black, white, overweight, disabled, etc?  He should spend more time seeking out those who ARE interested in his company as much as he is interested in theirs.  It's her perogative just as much as it is his when he selected her over another provider.  All money is green, but definitely not equal in this business...thats the unfortunate truth.

-- Modified on 2/11/2004 9:34:21 AM

but do think ladies should be upfront about it so there is less confusion.  There are ways to word their preferances for guests so that others may not take it as an insult, but it is a tricky thing.  I think many are scared of being labeled a racist or someone intolterant towards other issues, because there is always going to be someone who will take it as an insult rather then a preferance listing.  You said it all Tammie, so all I have to add is that you are just as smart as you are beautiful!!  

I am with you Tammie, this will always be an issue....

I will pass up providers if they are black. This is just a perference of mine. Well, Talaya MAY be able to sway me, but anywyas, don't forget that providers should like their "job" and their job involves possibly being intimate. If they have a preference, then I think they have a right to chose. I know that some providers dont have a preference except the almighty dollar and that's okay too. Dont forget that both party's should be having fun or else it defeats the entire purpose. And if the provider isn't having fun, then it's not likely that the hobbyist will be either...unless she's a good actress. And I know there are a few out there.

Heck this happens all the time.  There have been agencies that would not provide service and girls (more than a few in Chicago -- and Chicago along with the deep South are probably the worst locations).

However, there is a good side to it.  There are more than a few providers who have never been with a black guy who are more than turned on by the opportunity.  I have had many more encounters of this sort...and when it happens WOW!  I just met a girl in Seattle (Heather) where it happened...what an evening that was.  There are other caucasian females that just adore black males and will provide additional time or a more intimate experience because they just dig black guys.  Then there are black ladies who prefer not to be with black guys.  What a weird world we live in.

The moral of the story (moral -- is that an oxymoron in this hobby?) is that there is good and bad to being black...we just have to accept it and move on...and hope for more Heathers out there!  (Okay, and Renee and Mandy, and Vanessa and Devon and Erica and Amber and Rachel and Alyssa and Alex and Laney...oh my!)...sirslam

I have a very low tolerance for people with attitudes like yours.

-- Modified on 2/12/2004 4:50:30 PM

He expects you to be flattered because he is "willing" to make an exception with a little persuasion on your behalf?  Like you should be flattered to be the "Proud Chosen One".  Hell no....thats insulting to say the least.

Preference is one thing, but being an ass about it is another.

-- Modified on 2/12/2004 6:11:04 PM

It's not the attitude Talaya. It's a matter of what turns someone on. Everyone has diferent tastes in what may excite them. Men generally are visual creatures. It's a matter of what they see that may turn them on. Some guys like women with large breasts, or long hair, short hair, heavy women, skinny women, etc.  It's a matter of personal preference. Dont take it personnaly Talaya, it's just the way it is.

I wasn't "expecting" her to do anything. Obviuosly you didn't read my whole statement. If you quit ass kissing for a moment and read everything I was saying, you might realize how wrong you are. I was just stating my personal tastes along with obvious statements. Just because I have the balls to be forward enough to state what I like, I suppose that I leave myself open to idiots like you. Yeah, I may have been wrong to name Talaya specifically (I'm apologize Talaya), but I cant be wrong in what I like.

I know exactly what you are talking about, Talaya.

People like that irk the HECK out of me.

Get LOST.


-- Modified on 2/13/2004 2:38:59 PM

Very well put, Tammie

I completely agree.

There was no ass-kissing in my statement, especially since I am a woman myself.  You are the one who needs to re-read your statement and see the attitude clearly written all over it. Honest or not, you could have simply worded your post to avoid looking like the idiot you have made yourself out to be. Of course you weren't "expecting" anything...but you were certainly "hoping". Rejection sucks doesn't it?

I agree--don't say what you DON'T like, and then make a casual exception.  The exception is no longer a compliment when a original statement is of general dislike.  

Had he simply stated "I prefer white providers, BUT I have a fondness for XYZ provider...", it probably would have not been taken as an insult.  Well...maybe it still would, but hell...what difference does it make now?!?!  LOL

LOL... no difference at all, Lady... (EOM)

-- Modified on 2/14/2004 8:22:00 AM

I would have to say:
D. The answer is C but she must tell us about it upfront.

If a girl is going to restrict who she sees, she should be open about it. If I was a one eye purple people eater I wouldn't want to visit a girl who detests one eyed people eaters since I'm guessing the visit wouldn't be a whole lot of fun for either of us.

I personally don't have any restrictions on race, weight, etc.  I'm what you would call an Equal Opportunity Escort

Re:Very well put, Tammie

I totally agree with Tammie everyone has different tastes so what ever turns you on right?

Yeah rejection can suck, but that's a part of life. I can handle it, not a problem. Again, I wasn't expecting nor "hoping" for anything it's just an assumption (amoung many) of yours. If you just quit assuming and quit worrying about my "attitude" and look at the whole statement, you may understand.But since you've driven so far from the original subject here, I dont think it matters anymore.

Yeah your right, does it make a difference now? I knew that no matter what I said, it could be interpreted many different ways. I in no way made a "casual" exception. I mistakenly made the statement because there were a few qualites that I had found appealing and in a way from me, it was a compliment. If a woman perfers taller men than me, but thought I had nice eyes or something else she found appealing and told me so, I would take that as a compliment. I know that I cant make everyone happy all the time and if there were certain things not liked about me, I can understand and move on. NOT a big deal. Yes I agree that I could have worded it differently, but I cant change my writing style. The "observer" assumed many things about me and even worse, assumed that I was implying something other than what I stated. I can be very upfront and bold. I cant help it if others do not like it. Dont forget that we live in the USA and here we have