Hi. I am a Chicago provider...massage only, but give what might be considered a fairly GFE-esque massage...if GFE means kissing, taking my time, prolonging the pleasure portion, and generally treating the session like a real romantic date...and performing as though I really, genuinely like the client, vs. giving him the "rub-a-dub-pop-....NEXT! " treatment. The thing is, I wonder why guys get so wierd and attached. Lately, alot of them hound me to date them socially, etc. It'[s not just one or two sad sacks, but seems like an epidemic. This started before the holiday season and seems to just be continuing with several clients.

Don't they understand that the sweet, romantic act is what they pay for?
Yet I'm screwed because drawing attention to the professional factor is a TOTAL buzz-kill for guys.

I see so many men who complain if a provider doesn't seem "into it' enough. Yet, being into it and being believeable have created these uncomfortable situations. Insights, anyone?

speaking as someone who gets into this prediament himself, I can honestly tell you that if that is what's happening, then you are doing your job 120% and should feel flattered that these guys enjoy you that much.

I think I can also say from experience that a gfe-esque massage is not the norm for 99.8% of the masseuses out there right now, so you are an extreme rarity.  

I can't say for sure, but my guess is that these guys do think you dig them, while deep down inside realize that they are paying for your companionship.  They are most likely lonely and think they will be the one to "take you away from this life" while themselves finding romance with someone who is sexually uninhibited (again an assumption).

while most gfe providers do a great job hoping for repeat clients, perhaps you should stop seeing those guys who are becoming eerily attached to avoid any complications, and make sure you are protecting yourself to avoid any tragic outcomes, like some of the recent headlines have shown.

be careful, and play safe, please.

and Happy Holidays to you !!

obviously, you're just too good at what you do --- and your clients are confusing fantasy with reality.

where are u listed?  curious.

It can be quite easy when you are with your "dream girl" to believe everything your little head tells you.  I've been there.  

When they start to talk about "dating you socially", it's time to remind them that this is your job regardless of the buzz-kill for the guy.  It can be cruel and dangerous to let them believe otherwise, and you are obviously not trying to be cruel.

Sweetnsoft, I think you should be flattered that these guys are getting your "special treatmenat" and being made to feel like they are special to you.  Be proud that you have 'em waggin their tales at you.  Yes, I am sure they are only looking at you in lust not love but you are providing the "oscar winning performance" to make them feel very special in their complicated life.  You cannot be alone in this and I'll bet the Sin-ful one and other top providers get the same thing put upon her.  You are right about the WBTYM (don't you just hate accronyms) and after reading your post, you have picked my interest to see you as well as many others reading this I am sure.  Sports figures, movie stars and anyone who has "fans" go through what you are talking about.  It's just part of the mystique I suppose.  Be proud that you provide them with 100% + satisfaction and kindly let them know you have a SO and maybe they won't be forthcoming with their approach.

MM

Guys get lonely and desperate sometimes. You probably seem to be caring and just what the doctor ordered to these men. Wait a week or two after the holidays to burst their balloons, as it could be tied to holiday depression. My guess is things will go back to normal fairly soon, if not, you should state your case plainly. If that doesn't work, you need to drop these clients before you have a serious stalker situation.
I saw a provider several times who thought I was becoming attached even though I wasn't. I never asked her out, never brought her gifts, only was polite and always tipped her. As soon as she picked up more clients she gave me the boot, I am not bitter, but it has taken the fun out of the hobby for me, to be treated like trash in that way. Be a good person and try not to judge these guys wrongly as I was judged. After what this woman did to me, I don't think I will be back in the hobby any time soon, it opened my eyes to how I am viewed by providers.

I am sorry to hear that your situation has gotten you to pull away from the wonderful joy that this hobby is supposed to bring. I find myself lurking at times, maybe at times not needing the extra attention because I have many wonderful regulars whom I see. But that doesn't mean I don't want to meet new people, because I LOVE meeting new friends.

You see, this business is supposed to be "business" but it's also supposed to be special. Many girls don't see a lot of men during the day for that reason, they like their time to be spent in a special way. As for me, I'm very passionate about what I do. I have a "life" outside of this business which allows me only to work 1 or 2 days a week...and even at that I'm taken up by regulars so quickly that it doesn't allow me the availability to meet new friends (even though I want to and always try to be flexible with my job schedule and my play schedule).

I'm an emtional person, and especially around the holidays. It's easy to cross the border between "love" and lust. At times when you're with someone you crave the emotional connection that you're missing. I, myself have found getting lost in the mix of emotion. When I kiss someone I want it to be special, I want it to mean something...not just because I offer DFK (I do hate these abreviations).

To make this already lengthy post short, I think that a provider should always let a friend know boundaries. It's easy to get sucked into something, especially when we're in a passionate business. But like I said...it's a business. when you find someone you care about, hold onto them. I have made many wonderful friends...some who I always tell them to not be a stranger and to call me whenever they want...even if it is to talk.

Because nothing is better than feeling that connection...

Just my .02

*kisses*

-- Modified on 12/25/2004 2:59:56 PM

As a hobbyist, I have experienced some really close "relationships" with some providers.  Yes, I enjoy the "persona", but I have also grown to like the "person".  It is a natural extension to possibly want to spend time with someone who brings a level of comfort and pleasure to your life, outside of the bedroom. I have done so and have some endearing friendships. Hell baby, don't go to Vegas with me for a weekend. lol  

We are all adults. Hell, I might ask you out if I dug you that tough, but it shouldn't be a major issue to simply say, "thank you for the offer, but I am not interested in dating socially at this time."

If a hobbyist can't accept that, you need to turn down that crack-like love mojo baby. That's why they can't get enough.

After long experience, I've concluded that providers are the only ones worth getting emotional about. When I finally leave my wife, the ONLY women I would ever consider in the future living with or possibly marrying would have to be current or past providers. I wouldn't describe them as GFE, however, as frankly, no "girl friends" have ever been as nice to me!