Shouldn't have to jump through hoops for a reference, that's for sure!
I know that using a reference site like room service is an easy way to get verified but I am sure there are many people, like myself, who do not like them and rely on provider references to get verified. My question is what is the reference "etiquette" regarding this i.e. how many times can you use a provider as a reference, should you notify them first etc. Also why some providers are hesitant about being used as a reference.
The provider if it's okay that you use her as a reference... It's basic manners... I suggest in always provide the most recent provider you've seen.... Also, like myself all my reference is done via email... No calls or texts.... But I only provide a references for my ATFs or favs.. I will not refer anyone I only seen once... But everyone has their own system of doing screening/referrals/verifications....
I would suggest not using the same provider as a reference over and over as my mailbox clogs up. Plus I laugh a bit since I know exactly what you're doing, you horn dog you. I get a bit sad when I see all the different ladies you are running off with and not me ;[
I might say something at the end about "feel free to use me as a reference" but at the end of the day it's the client that should bring it up. Never had a problem with receiving an e-mail saying "gave a girl your info, she will be contacting you this week".
First, ask your most recent providers for references - the key point being to ask them first before sending their info to the provider requesting references. Most ladies want a heads up before they respond to someone they don't know so don't ambush them.
Second, a good rule of thumb is don't inundate the same providers with reference requests unless you're seeing them on a regular basis. As others have said, if you haven't seen a particular reference in 6-12 months, she'll likely refuse. Remember that she's telling the new provider that you're OK, essentially vouching for you as being safe.
If you're seeing only one provider, then it gets sticky because she might perceive your "branching out" as a threat to her income. She'll probably give you one or two references but beyond that you better plan on using the new providers you saw as references.
Spread the reference pain around as much as possible and use the ladies you see most often first. Any reasonable lady will understand that if she's making a good buck off of you, she should reciprocate by giving you references when requested.
Some ladies don't like providing references because they don't want to vouch for you being safe or they don't want to bother with all the phone calls and emails that aren't making them money. These providers should realize that if they're unwilling to provide references, they shouldn't be asking other providers for references.
You do remember something's since you have been around the block.
Nicely put.
JC
Been around the block, the city, and a few counties to boot, lol.
Most ladies nowadays are happy to provide a reference to a gent seen within 6 months of their last date. Anything beyond that and you might find that she cannot vouch for you -- not because she doesn't remember you, though that certainly can be the case if you have only seen her once! -- but because (just as Alyson mentioned) people change and habit's change.
For every date you have with one lady, I would say 2-3 reference requests is appropriate within 6 months. Anything beyond that, then you are taking advantage of her kindness to vouch for you as a client. It would be assumed that by then, you would have 2-3 other ladies who could also provide a reference.
A follow up thank you is also a nice gesture -- from the gent in question and the companion that needs the reference --- since the reference system isn't a mandatory obligation nor an entitlement 
As others have mentioned, 6 months seems to be standard in terms of being comfortable providing a reference. I don't necessarily need to know that he is using me as a reference, but it is nice to have a head's up if he's traveling out of state and seeing a provider I am not familiar with.
I wouldn't say I have a set limit of how many references I will give for a certain person. I've only ever had one issue where a client was using me as a ref like crazy, which I found out he was traveling for work, booking ladies, and then canceling on them. So I nipped that in the bud.
I guess my only other words of wisdom would be- give enough notice to the provider you want the reference from. If you want to have an appointment with a provider in two hours, it's not realistic to assume the provider giving the reference will have enough time to respond. Also, do not give out phone numbers if the provider doesn't have it listed or if that's not her preferred method of contact.
It causes me to wonder why. I am pretty quick at giving a reference, but there have been times where I had ladies blowing up my emails all at the same time for a reference from teh same guy. I then told the ladies what was happening. "FYI, unless he's setting up his providers for the month, he's shopping around. I have five other reference requests right here for the same guy, different ladies."
Also, if someone is going to ask me to refer them, don't get weird on the other provider, annoying her with a million emails and calls for one appointment. This has happened and the girl was like, "Are you sure this guy is ok?"
I still get requests from a year ago on guys I saw when I first started doing this. I said "A year ago he was nice, but I saw him for one hour of my entire life a year ago. I can't say what he's like now. Pursue at your own risk." (I do not even reference guys I saw more than 6 months ago now... and I need a subtle reminder of our date - nothing crazy, just something. So yes, it is nice if he shoots me an email first.)
I agree with adrianamonet. 2-3 times and move on if you've only seen me once. It's not written in stone, but seems fair if the guy was a one and done type of guy. That means he probably has plenty of references to choose from.
Though going a tad farther than needed, if a guy comes to see me for 90 minutes and uses me as a reference for every girl he wants to see in the future, that gets a little fishy to me. I wonder if he's acting up with a bunch of other girls, and didn't with me only so I could give him a reference. To me, safety ties in here as well.
-- Modified on 6/14/2014 10:02:13 PM
I had a Gentlemem see me one time for a Multi Hr Appointment. I felt it went good. Asked a week later if he could use me as a reference. I politely agreed. Provider emailed me and I calmed her worries. A couple of days later I have another provider w another reference from same guy. I refer him again. Two hrs later my email is blowing up w this provider flipping out on me that he was a send off and sent her to a bar instead of his hotel. Which was weird cause I met him at hiss place. She even accused me of being a creep in cahoots w him. I apologized and told her how sorry I was and he didnt do any of that before. I proceeded to tell him he could no longer use me as a reference. He claimed she never showed. I believed her though. And for the next 3 days I had 4 different girls tryinf to get me to refer him. I told them I was no longer referring him due to NCNS w others. He still tries to use me as a reference.
Though going a tad farther than needed, if a guy comes to see me for 90 minutes and uses me as a reference for every girl he wants to see in the future, that gets a little fishy to me. I wonder if he's acting up with a bunch of other girls, and didn't with me only so I could give him a reference. To me, safety ties in here as well.
-- Modified on 6/14/2014 10:02:13 PM
Exactly! That's what I'm talking about. That's just crazy.
If you're a stand up guy you can use me as a reference as many times as you want with or without notice. It's not only about helping a good guy out but also about being a girl's girl. I asked a lady for a reference once via text and she sent me a link to a section of her website that explains her reference policy.
Think I clicked?
Bitch please…
ain't nobody got time for that. Actually I had plenty of time but it annoys me.
To each their own. I say play, enjoy have fun and be safe, so if I can contribute to my own policy I surely will.
Shouldn't have to jump through hoops for a reference, that's for sure!
I adore your personality!!! I wouldnt have clicked the link either!
only I do not have text so that would not have happened to me. If you want a reference in effect help from another provider then the least you can do is provide the info she needs in the manner she is comfortable with. References are a privilege not a right on either side. If you don't want to do as she needs things done for the reference from her that is fine too, move on to a different reference or find another way to screen.
Screening is the suckyest part of this industry, none of us actually likes to do it and it take time to do it right. Contacting a lady providing all info in the way she prefers and then additional checks i will not go into because giving away the "secrets" compromises us all. That should be the least each of us does to make sure we are safe. In Chicago screening is in fact a different animal and to get good ones from respectable ladies it only takes a few mins to check and see her preferred contact methods and get all the info in... That is not jumping through hoops anymore then you should. Screening really should not be easy, if it is then you might end up in trouble
GL
Without giving away any "secrets". If i provide his name/number/email you should be able to say if he's nice clean and safe. I can add whatever additional screening I feel necessary but that's the basics in the other 49 states far as I can tell. Someone provides me with same info and I give the a yay or nay.
He's gotta ask her if it's ok for you to ask her, the you have to ask her how she likes to be asked, the ask… then she answers then i answer him…joseph mary and baby. I just aged a month. Is he a cop or a killer or a robber and is his mouth and balls fresh. Boom.