I saw an ad for a provider yesterday morning that I really wanted to see.  Her schedule and mine finally worked together and so I called her around 10am to see if we could set something up for later in the day.  I had a dinner meeting around 7:30pm in her area, so we agreed to meet between 5:30 and 6pm for an hour.  I told her that I would call when I was on the way to let her know exactly what time I would be there.

I worked throughout the day, mentally preparing myself for a fun time that I am sure we will have.  Some might say I was a bit "worked-up" in more ways than one.

I hopped in the car at 4:55pm, checked my GPS which told me I would be to her place in 45 minutes and started off.  I called her about 15 minutes into the trip to let her know that I would be there in 30 minutes and how excited I was to see her.  I received a text back from her about 3 minutes later saying, "I hadn't heard from you by 5:00pm so I thought you werent coming. I got another call for an outcall, so I am on my way there right now. "  I was really disappointed. Maybe a little mad, at her, at myself, at the Escort gods, just feeling like I was all dressed up with no place to go.  I asked her to call so that we could discuss, which she did immediately.  She was apologetic and offered to meet later, which I was unable to do.  I think it was an honest mistake, just a frustrating one.

My question is for those who hobby more that I do.  Should I have called again that afternoon to confirm?  Should she have called me to check on me before she accepted another call?  I would like to see her still, but I want to take precautions to make sure that something like this doesn't happen again.  Any advice from the more seasoned guys or from the girls?  I started to think about calling someone else at the last minute, but I really was in a time crunch, and I didn't know who would be available (if anyone) for an immediate appointment.  So I went to the restaurant early and had a couple beers at the bar.

I want to be clear that I am not mad at all right now, just disappointed. Also, that I will NOT give out a name to anyone that PM's me.  This is not meant as an indictment of a particular girl, but more of a learning experience for me, and hopefully one to help the group.  Feel free to just tell me to take in stride or whatever, but will welcome any and all thoughts.

ralphieboy

It is a crap shoot sometimes, if you are still enamored with the lady schedule another date

It sounds like you and the provider just had some crossed wires in the communication.  It happens.  Schedule another date making sure that you communicate to her up front that you are committed to the appointment time and that you're both on the same page as far as when/how you  will contact her to confirm prior to the appointment.

To schedule an appointment and not confirm (at least by noon), the day of the appointment is just asking for trouble. Confirming 30 min. prior to appointment? C'mon, try to use some common sense.

you are good to go.
I just experienced this in Dallas where the provider said she had not heard from me.  Why do I need to contact you again if we confirmed the appointment?   Right now, I have some confirmed February appointments.  Yeah, I do get it and yes people can be flakey on both sides of this business.  I sometimes send out reminders the day before, but otherwise I feel if we have committed, then its on unless you hear otherwise.  If I don't show up and don't call, you can whack my peepee with a mallot and spread my transgressions on the provider boards.

I made the appointment at 10am that morning.  I shouldn't have to confirm 2 hours later.  What I am hearing is that I should probably confirm two hours out (or at least before I start driving) to make sure everything is okay.  Thanks for the input, I appreciate your two cents.

is that you get to talk to her again.  I'm never at ease meeting someone for the first time, so the more conversations I have before-hand the better.

She may have received a call from a regular that she could not pass up.  You were a first timer.  She has priorities as well and this does happen from time to time. Reschedule and reconfirm later in the day.  If it happens again, you are out nothing but a phone call.

What happened to common courtesy? Just because we "hobby" doesn't mean we can't respect each other, at least on some level. I believe what goes around comes around and karma. Maybe I am different but I respect others time just as I respect my own. But I think people should treat each other the way they want to be treated. So I treat everyone with respect because that is how I want to be treated. You can treat me like a whore but don't disrespect me. Just like a can treat you like a "dick" but I don't have to disrespect you.

I figure if a gentleman takes the time to call me, to go through my screening process that he would most definitely show up. If he couldn't then he would call me. Don't get me wrong I have had a couple gentleman flake on me but as I said I believe in karma. Maybe most people don't gave a rats ass as to how they treat others and when it happens to them it is just a bump in the road and they just keep moving forward but I don't think what he did was wrong.

I think that it is human nature to lump people in to categories. Don't you find that when a woman or a man does something to you that you put all man or woman into that same category saying that they are all alike. If a provider or hobbyist flakes hell then another provider or hobbyist will do the same thing. Even when we don't say it, somewhere in the back of our minds we think it and tend to act on it. But what happened to looking at us each as individuals who make our own choices. And stop thinking that just because "he did it" the next one will too. When you think like this you tend to cover your own ass and not worry about "the other person". Just my 2cents worth.

If the communications are as reported there are two things in here that may justify her behavior.

1. Time was approximate. That means you are asking her to hold more time for you than you are willing to pay for. If she is busy, and it sounds like she was advertising, probably securing a nice incall for the day, so she was busy, your tentative hour would knock out two hours so she could meet your schedule. This does create some motivation to book those two hours, rather than hold them for you and lose some money.

2. "Will call to confirm when I am on my way." That seems a little vague to me. Did she know how long it would take you to get there, thus when to expect your call? Did she have contact info for you to check back in? Recently I have had more providers ask me to call at a specified time before the appointment, anywhere between 30 minutes and 2 hours. Very organized, professional providers. The difference between them and your situation is that the time of the call was specified, not vague.

IMO, point 1 is the real source of the issue. As a matter of courtesy, you should have confirmed a time with her as soon as you could, and not asked her to hold a range of times. On the other hand, if she had your contact info, she should have at least texted you before she scheduled something else. Given the immediate callback and offer to see you later that night, I think she will make it up to you, and deserves a second chance. If that goes bad, just walk away.

Quick sincere apologies can be just what they seem, or an indication that the lady in question has a lot of practice with this type of situation. Only one way to find out, but if she has good, current reviews, odds are it is sincere.

Zig

You and the lady should have a clear understanding of what confirmation is required and by when, once the appointment is made.  For example, I will confirm with you by 5 and let you know we are still on and nothing has come up.

If she has had a lot of last minute cancellations, she may hold you to the "letter of the agreement.

I don't want to rain on your parade, but if your times are correct, she may have taken a "more lucrative" offer, I.e. an outcall is generally more than an incall.

Ziggy,

I really appreciate your response here. I do feel like I was as much or more to blame for the mis-communication, but I couldn't put my finger on what I did wrong.  Both your points are very true.  

#1, I should have confirmed sooner with an exact time.  My schedule is pretty fluid, but I did know at least two hours ahead of time when I would be able to get there.  A quick call at that point would have firmed up the time and let her know I was serious.  I didn't realize that my "vague" time would block out as much potential time for her.  

#2. I believe that I told her I was about 45 minutes away during our initial conversation, but that is a point that I may not have made clearly, or she may not have heard.  Once again, a follow up call a bit sooner would have allowed her to know my schedule.  That way if I was running a few minutes late,   she would understand it was traffic, etc.  

She did have my contact info, so she could have made a quick call if she had another request, but I do understand that if it was a regular she would be more apt to make him happy for their long-term relationship and future appointments.  As I stated before, I feel she was sincere and did get back to me as soon as she realized there was a problem.  I will definitely try again, as her reviews are good and it seems like it was an honest mistake.  Thanks again.

Ralph

and when. I had a situation where a provider and I exchanged emails several times for the initial contact, screening info, then firming up a date and time. The last one from me ended with "I'll see you on ... at ..." and I was supposed to call when I got to the area for the 2 call norm. This was set up a few days early. When I got to the area and called, and called, and texted, and called once more, and got no response, I eventually left. I got home to an email saying since I didn't call the morning of ... she wasn't going to waste her time going to her incall. She never answered her phone or email after that, I can only assume she blocked me. Too bad for me 'cause I was pretty stoked to meet her. I'd consider it a nc/ns on her part as I followed all of her instructions except one she never mentioned ... but you can't review those ...

What did I learn? Despite what emails say or how they read, I'm always going to ask very specifically when to confirm, how often, and whether by phone and email.

I didn't know about these 'extra' confirmations sometimes required, and had never run into a problem with anyone ever before. I've hobbied lots more than I've reviewed (no comments here, they weren't all listed here on TER - but now I won't ever go outside of TER again, but that's for another thread ...) I didn't want to seem like a stalker so I always limited my contacts. I was pissed, but live and learn I suppose.