Simple. I reach out and try to help with the references...

I am motivated to make the date I have chosen happen. It's easy enough to contact a few references and ask for their help, or to even contact other references in lieu of those whose responsiveness is lacking.  

Honestly, a lady who won't provide a reference or who tries to "block" me from seeing someone else gets no further consideration from me. I'm thankful this has never happened to me.

As for the "better deal" offer? It won't change my mind. But I may ask for a rain-check. :

Here is the thing with me. Many of use a service to provide our refrence such as RS2k or other service. If we give that to you then that should be good enough. If they don't have it then just like a professional business manner and they give you provider references then you should check asap. The issue is that many providers don't want one of their clients going else where cause that means they could either lose that client permanently or the provider has said no. Trust me on this many providers don't like being references especially for their local clientele. So if a provider asks for references and a customer gives it to you. Then that means they worked their ass off to get them. Cause they might have just jeopardized their relationship with the local one.  
It sounds petty but it's reality  
So no response move on is bottom line and try to make up to the ones you got okay from

I was wondering

I once had a provider reach out to me to let me know her client would be reaching out to me. It was AWESOME. I mean what provider reaches out to another provide for her client. I myself have done the same for other ladies.

It's also super helpful...as mentioned before, clients will reach out to their references, letting them know that are being used. It helps.  

So about that rain check....whatever became of that...lol.

Lisa

1st of alll i would have contacted my friends and ask permission  

I let my references know the time so they can fit into their schedule. We are all busy.

My references/friends are ok with variety...we share lovers.
So no jealousy has reared it's head.

LD

That should avoid any drama.  

By this time I have already given my RS2K info.   Between that and TER white lists, that should be plenty