I spent some time with a provider last night, and she told me she was new to the game. I could kind of tell she was too. Anyways, she gave me her personal phone number and we have texted a bit since and she wants told me she wants to hang out, without any money changing hands. Does this happen? Or am I going to get scammed? I'm also new to this so I'm confused.
Thanks,
Jack

I have a handful that I'll get lunch or dinner with every now and then

What can I say?  They've found the key to my heart

I've spent way more time hanging out with providers 'off the clock' than I have on paid time.  Some are close friends.  It just happens.  Some I met through their work, some I just met and their job had little to do with it.  Whatever.  Like I said in the subject line, providers are people too.  No big deal, unless you make it one.

That said, getting a personal phone number and her asking you to 'hang out' doesn't necessarily mean she wants to have a personal relationship with you.  Lots of women have given me their personal contact info merely so we could arrange 'business' more easily.  So you might want to be careful about jumping to conclusions.  But if she was explicit about no money changing hands, then...

Well, sounds like you maybe have a new friend.  Treat her like any other woman you met and are willing to hang out with.  Don't assume she wants to have sex with you every time you meet.  Don't assume anything.  Just treat her like a normal person.  She is no more her job than any waitress or clerk or banker or whatever you might meet.

It's happened more than once to me. It's resulted in special relationships that I still value and in horrible meltdowns that proved disastrous to my personal life. Be very very careful when lines get crossed. Both sides need to be completely aware of where each other stands. Otherwise one or both sides can be burned BADLY and things can get ugly fast. In that respect relationships outside the hobby can and will mirror all the unpredictable ups & downs that life offers. Proceed very very slowly & be careful what you wish for.

Yes, we are human too...

I have done it after an appt but not all the time.  I can only do it when my schedule would permitt it.

Kisses
JC

It happens, what starts out as business can result in friendship. She obviously sees something in you she likes so roll with it. That doesn't mean fall in love with her, it just means hang out as friends. I've had a number of female friends in the hobby. Just be careful how close you get. Anytime sex is involved, male/female relationships become complicated. In this biz, that complication is magnified so keep your head screwed on straight and don't get too caught up in this new friendship. Have fun as friends, maybe something more will develop, maybe not. Let her lead take the lead to wherever you end up.

Remember, this is not the normal "man pursues woman" scenario. She's always in charge and she draws the line on how far things will go because of how you started out. Violating that rule can lead to disastrous consequences so if you're not sure what she wants, ask her. Let her know if her moves are confusing you and make sure you get the clarification you're seeking.

Since she's new, she hasn't built a  trustworthy reputation so by all means, proceed with caution. If she asks to borrow money, don't do it. Biggest mistake you'll ever make in this hobby and a clear sign you're being played. Run in the other direction and don't look back. The only way you'll get scammed is if you let it happen so keep the cash in your wallet and watch how she behaves. No problem taking her out as usual but don't make any loans. The implication that she'll pay you back is a bad, bad assumption. Rule #1.

Good luck, hope you have some fun

PP

Thanks broski's, I appreciate all the feedback. I think I'm gonna try things out, and see maybe where they go. Definitely gonna be cautious and maybe just try and be friends first.

- Jack

Newbie, General Discussion and The Erotic Highway boards.  Yours is not a new story, but one that has been dicussed numerous times on these various boards.  As a "newbie" you should definitely spend some time there reading and learning the way this game is played.  And you will find numberous stories on the EH board of "I've fallen for a provider and can't get up" (not suggesting that this is your situation, but informative nevertheless).

To answer your question, a number of guys will spend OTC time with ladies...and most have their heads on straight to handle the relationship...but some fail to realize the way the relationship is unfolding, and then you read their stories on these boards.  And in most cases, it never turns out good.

It happens often, but almost always with a provider and hobbyist who have developed a friendship over time. Never, ever forget why you met and how you met.

I've been fortunate to have had providers who have gone to lunch or dinner OTC with a few, almost always immediately before or after an appointment.

Keep in mind, it's NOT a date in the civvie sense, with all that the term implies. It's an expression of mutual friendship -- even respect -- but don't read into it what isn't there. These OTC eppisodes are often with ladies who have more than just physical charms.

But until you have established your business relationship and become comfortable with that, I would be very, very cautious.

If she's an agency girl, she could very well just be fishing for clients to see outside the agency to avoid the agency taking a cut.  I've had girls do this before and it's not uncommon for newer girls to try and circumvent the agency.

If she's an Indy girl, just roll with it, don't make it harder than it has to be by trying to over think things in advance.  You'll find out as time progresses.  Just don't fool yourself into thinking she thinks she's found her "Mr. Right" and wants to start dating.  Search the board on dating a provider and you'll get a better understanding why this is a "proceed with caution" scenario.  If kept in perspective it can be an OK situation, but without perspective it usually winds up badly (for you).

i've also been down that road a couple of times.

i developed a friendship with a provider outside the lines of our business relationship.
we would hang out, do some fun things together.  all was good until she convinced me
to lend her some money for a large purchase.  i trusted that she would pay me back.
unfortunately, she moved away on short notice and i was never paid back.  not even one cent.

on a second occasion, i developed a full on relationship with a favorite provider.  someone
i used to see twice a week.  i fell in love, she continued in the business.  the whole thing
crashed and burned, and i was horribly heartbroken and left without my favorite provider.

tread lightly my friend.

Both mistakes are easy to make. Unfortunately you're the poster boy for what not to do in this hobby so hopefully others are paying attention and learning from your mishaps.

To keep things in perspective, the providers who frequent this board are well-respected, honest ladies. I doubt you'd experience these types of issues with the regulars here. But problems like what you experienced seem to be happening more often or possibly are being brought to light.

This probably wont help much but I had a great relationship with a girl from a traveling agency.  She was young and very new to the industry - she asked me to stay the night after our first appointment.  She came to town twice and I stayed with her each night OTC.  She was totally cool but we both knew she was leaving in a few days so everything was really fun.  Awesome experience if you get a chance with a traveling girl.