Some of those are nice...the one about keeping one at home and one on the road doesn't make sense, however.  

First, I have more than one woman at home (SO + a companion I think is the best thing to happen to me since I first met my SO, perhaps better) and then, there are escorts for on the road...

Just to be the first to point that out, and yes, I can be an ass like that, but I did smile!

bang, bang, shoot, shoot.

The Beatles put it wisely, "happiness is a warm gun".
I would however be more receptive to an offer of being blown by a woman, rather than a gun.  The outcome seems so much better.  Hehe

I remember mistakenly referring to my M-16 as a gun and not a weapon.  I ran a lap around the grounds with my weapon in the air and my other hand on my privates yelling, "This is my weapon and this is my gun, my weapons for killing and my guns for fun."  

In #8, no matter how much my friend may admire my gun, he can go fuck himself before I let him play with it.

In #6, my gun may stick with me when I run out of "ammo," but it has a heck of a time staying up.