Dude... let me give you some advice... The Newbie board and the Chicago board are not different universes. Many of us read, post, and/or keep tabs on both. You can't post the exact same thing on both boards without raising flags, making some of us think you're really lazy, or worse yet LE.

Take the advice that was given and read the newbie manual. Get acquainted with the newbie manual, read  the boards and learn from the questions others have asked, and then post with specific questions if you need clarification.

and then do a search for your "type" and check out the reviews(look for a solid history and rrepetive mention of the things you like).  Find a lady you like and visit.  

There is no magic formula but those things will make the chances of something bad happening or not getting what you want to go down by leaps and bounds.