I have a question for providers....

I am relatively new to this and I have had some great experiences and a few regrettable ones...mostly due to my own mistakes.

My question is, Sometimes I feel like I would like to get to know the provider before we get down to business...maybe have dinner or meet for drinks..a little wine and dine. The problem is, I do not have the budget for a 3- 4 hour dinner date rate. I know I sound like a cheap jerk but the truth is, I have no problem paying the price of admission for the time between the sheets...I would just like to spend some casual time together off the clock before the fun begins. I know the providers time is valuable but I would just like to hear from some of the ladies on their feelings about dinner dates and rates. I'm not the kind of guy who would ever try to negotiate with a provider...I respect the advertised rate. I'm just looking for a little feedback.

walrus909

I do understand where you coming from maybe  you might want to book  just an hr of her time pryer to a date  to get to know her first  with a light lunch date or even coffee  and pay her for her time ....then if you have a special connection  book a romantic date maybe an hr....now you have 2hrs invested  and should know if  a longer date might  be possible I have went off the clock  many times  after getting to know a special client  lets say he books a nice dinner date and I might just cap it at 2hrs even though it might take closer to 4 hrs  sometimes you just have to go  the extra mile for those loyal clients that have been with you through good times and now tougher times it all comes backk to you in spades  good luck on finding that special lady

Let's see - you meet a witty, beautiful, smoking sexy woman and want to spend more time with her - understandable. But your budget is not enough to cover that added time - hardly unique. I feel pretty comfortable in saying that almost every hobbyist here is constrained by his budget. And now you have posted that.

What reply do you expect? Some guys spend time with some ladies OTC - yes, it happens. Some guys like to talk about it, but almost never mention a lady's name because it could create problems when other guys want to know why they do not get OTC time, too. So talking about it is the best way to end it. Ladies spend time with guys OTC for one of two reasons - either the guy is a very good client and it makes sense as a marketing expense, or the lady just likes hanging out with the guy. From the guy's point of view, it is always the latter, but my personal opinion is that it is almost always the former, perhaps combined with the latter. After all, this is a job and a lady needs to make a living. If you are selling your time to pay the bills, giving it away to guys who can't afford to pay for it is hardly a formula for success. In your business, do you pick bad prospects and give away your time or products to them, just because you like them?

So, walrus, you can either try to develop a relationship with a lady that develops beyond p4p, which is fraught with its own perils but you are a big boy and can make your own choices, become such a good customer that you get special treats, or accept that you are a customer, she is a vendor, and you will get what you pay for. GFE does not mean she really loves spending time with you, even if it seems that way.

What you should not expect is a positive reply of any sort to this post. Discussions of OTC time on the board tend to follow certain patterns - there are the guys who brag about it, the guys who think they deserve it and get slammed for saying so, and the complaints about guys who always try to take extra time beyond what they pay for. That is it. Your approach is a little different as I think you are asking whether it is available, maybe how to get it. And I have answered you.

Having said all that, some providers offer lower hourly rates for dinner or drinks with no play time. Is that an option? It would not be for me, but maybe that suits you. It is pay for play, after all, and I am happy to pay so long as I get to play.

zig

Here's how I see your situation. You want OTC (off the clock) time to get to develop a rapport with a lady before the main event. I doubt that will ever happen as you describe it, especially before a first date. I suggest you portion your hour with 10 or 15 minutes "getting to know you" time, leaving 45 to 50 minutes for serious play. After that, you will have a relationship established and, at her discretion, OTC time may follow on subsequent encounters. If she likes you and her schedule allows, she may allow a few extra moments at the end of the session.

I have been fortunate to have had several ladies agree to go OTC for a drink or a meal, but never on a first date and only if scheduling allows. Remember, time is the only tangible commodity any lady has. It represents her livelihood. Respect it. If a lady hits it off with you and you with her, offer to buy a meal or drinks, but don't be offended if she turns you down.

And never, NEVER suggest that you go "Dutch treat."  LOL

I'd like that, too, but it's not going to happen, at least before you already have an established relationship.  A very smart lady once told me something to the effect of "What I'm selling is companionship; some of which might turn out to be physical."  

I have clients.  I spend OTC time, including lunches and dinners,  with many of them (as I suspect many hobbyists do);  but I'm not selling "companionship", at dinner or otherwise.  You would be asking her for a free sample of what is essentially her stock in trade.

See if you can get someone who will "get to know you" via email, after you make (and keep!) an appointment.  That may help some.

and that is why it is on their websites.  As others have commented the gals (in all likelihood) will NOT meet you for a freebie so you can "size them up".  That is what the reviews are for, and you can PM reviewers and get other tidbits if you ask.

Given that you don't have a budget for longer dates, you are left with continuing on the path you have been on, or head over to match or eharmony where some of those gals would probably entertain meeting you for a drink/dinner.  But then you have other baggage to deal with (and the unknown of "will you get lucky".

You have PM!

Very well written in explain the process, "Why some of us do what we do?"

My market concept is simular, if I have a long time regular that wants to do dinner before or after a date I am fine with that.
A trust factor is huge on both ends of the stick too...
Both provider and hobbiest, have to feel comfortable and/or safety with the other.
This can only happen if they know one another very well, that could mean more than one date for some.

Thank you for your insight Ziggy
Kisses
JC

I really appreciate all the great feedback...I thank you all for taking the time to respond to my post and I will use your suggestions to try and connect with a provider.

Cheers

I hate being nervous and asking all kinds of questions to get to know someone within two hours.  It scratches the surface but is it enough to be totally free at play time???

Not really.

XXX-Giselle

But only when I am fully compensated for my time As a companion. my rates are plainly posted and there are lots of gents who appreciate the already discounted rate for a dinner date. Private time and public time does carry different weight, and as such, dinner dates are priced accordingly. Why would any lady want to spend 2 hours OTC to get to know you, when she can spend the time with a gent who will compensate her in full, drop a mint on dinner and wine, and get #%$*@$ so hard that he can't remember what hotel he's staying at and where he parked his car!? Maybe there are ladies are out there who will do OTC to get to know you, but the proverb is usually right...you get what you pay for. The ladies I know don't have trouble getting compensated for their time as a companion for dinner, overnights, and extended trips. I completely understand budget concerns. Staying within your means is a good idea for all. But wanting charity when you are not destitute, is not becoming.

Good luck in your search.

Kisses,

Veronica Sweets