Let's break this down shall we?
1. Must be female..No males!
Translation: Deep pussy check required and there better be a fucking uterus up there.
2. No substance abuse issues
Translation: You must be an expert substance abuser, no amateurs, know what the fuck you're doing when shooting up!
3. Must be professional
Translation: No punching the john, biting his dick off, or use of castration devices
4. No piercings except belly button..others should be removed before working a shift.
Translation: Take the rings out of your eyes, ears, nose, throats, lips (both sets). They give johns the fucking heebie jeebies.
5. Excellent customer service
Translation: No calling johns mother fuckers, no beating them up, no robbing them, and definitely no killing them. Always have a fake smile no matter what hole they hit by accident or on purpose.
6. Ability to follow directions exactly as told
Translation: You stupid bitch, I told you Motel 6, not the Hilton, where the fuck are you?
7. No ghetto behavior or ebonics speaking
Translation: Bitch be stupid, toe da line bitch
8. Must not be more then 30 lbs over weight when applying
Translation: Any extra weight over 10 lbs must be in your fake tits. Gain as much as you want after we hire you.
9. No smoking while on shift.
Translation: Shaking like a leaf and going BSC is acceptable but do not light up!
10. Ages 18-40
Translation: We'll check your fake ID, +- 5 years. No old wrinkly bitches!
11. If you have any part of your head shaved then wait until it is grown out before applying.
Translation: Johns don't like baldies except your pussy. Grow some hair bitch!
Additional requirements:
12. Must not stink when applying
13. Must wash pussy between johns, wet TP acceptable
14. Daily shower required or every 10 johns whichever comes firs
