Chicago

Lesson Learned
JoeAverageHobbyist 657 reads
posted

Sounds like the provider who refused to see you is ratings obsessed and didn't want to risk your review bringing down her average.  If you're not using the TER whitelist as a part of the screening process, there is no reason to give up your TER ID when requesting appointments.  My advice is to withhold that information in the future.

I'm a long time member here, was even a mod for a while.  I don't see escorts much anymore and when I do, I'm pretty selective.  I did some research this week and identified a particular provider and contacted her, providing all the necessary screening including my TER ID.

Her response back was that she was unavailable.  Since I asked for a weekday afternoon, which isn't considered "peak" time, I asked if it just that day or if she was rarely available afternoons.  She responded and, it turns out, she was available but wouldn't see me in particular.  I asked why, and ultimately, she said it was because "mostly what you have to say and consistent negative comments" from TER reviews.

Firstly, I think my reviews are as well written and fair.  Second, they're not "consistently negative."  I don't dish out 10's irresponsibly but rarely do I give out negative reviews.  Its funny too, that I occasionally see TS girls who very often provide terrible service that would be considered a "1" but the high standards the normal girls set.

Obviously, selfishly, I'm annoyed.  This is a very well regarded provider.  But it also makes me wonder - if providers only choose clients with superb reviews, is that skewing results?  I've since looked at her reviews again and every single client gave every girl he's ever seen no less than a 7 and mostly 9s and 10s.  

Ironically, I set up an appointment with another provider for today and, so far, she's a no show.  Now I'm wondering if I should post a bad review for the no show, or will that cast a negative light on me as a client.  Or should I just pretend forevermore that I'm not on TER?  

Lastly, should I post on the Board who the provider in question is?  Is that fair?

WTF?  I'm annoyed!

wait a day or. I had a couple of experiences where a provider was a no show and it turned out to be circumstances beyond her control (parked car towed with my info on a sheet of paper in the car). It was rescheduled the next week and was fine. Life happens. Cars get towed, kids get sick, Iphones get dropped and shattered or dropped in the snow and cease functioning. Not every time someone does not show and does not call is it because they are being rude or ripping you off (the towed car appointment involved me having prepaid).

JoeAverageHobbyist658 reads

Sounds like the provider who refused to see you is ratings obsessed and didn't want to risk your review bringing down her average.  If you're not using the TER whitelist as a part of the screening process, there is no reason to give up your TER ID when requesting appointments.  My advice is to withhold that information in the future.

Essentially, some providers only will see customers who always give great reviews.  That totally skews their scores toward the positive.  Bastardizes the whole process.  My inclination, thus, is to publicize who this provider is.

To be honest, I'm interested in knowing who she is although I could take a few quick guesses and probably nail it. Just realize there might be negative repercussions for you if you gave her any real info. Any provider who is that hell bent on high scores is probably not someone you should trust to keep your info safe. If she doesn't know who you really are, then let's hear who she is. I'm certainly curious.

The provider actually texted me, about 2 hrs after the appointment.   Not exactly the most sound explanation, but I'll buy it.

Still, TER, or the board, needs some way to track NCNS.  Should we create a thread on this or something?

...but it seems a little tacky (and by "a little", I mean "very") to out someone who NCNS but then contacted you with what seemed like a legit excuse.  If I outed every client who cancelled on me last minute with a seemingly legit excuse, I'd have a lot of typing to do. You "outing" her for something like a NCNS that you later found to be legit will drastically affect her income. Not so cool.  

As for the ratings monger, let her do her thing. If she's digging her own hole, she probably doesn't need your help in doing so. Find another provider. Again, this is your hobby, but someone else's career and income.  There's no need to be malicious. She denied you a session. Big deal. There are plenty of other lovely providers who I am sure would be happy to see you.  But if you're going to make a habit of outing providers, your options will diminish greatly.  Considering you're picky, I'd keep it to yourself and inform those who ask you about it in a private manner.  

Being classy is so much sexier than being vindictive.

Great reminder for me to keep my cool even in bad situations. I was in one today with the wacky provider cyber stalking me.  She's at it again and I just want to whip her ASS!  I need to keep my cool like I normally do and ignore her cause she is pathetic and most days I honestly feel sorry for her!  I know she's gotta be mentally ill.

Well handled - BRAVO!

You should be a mentor to all of us!  I need to book a session with you just to vent!

Hugs & gratitude, Carly  :)

-- Modified on 3/13/2014 8:46:18 PM

Write a NSNC review ... Purely cuz there was no interaction...   You're an active reviewer, so I don't  understand why someone would not see you, my guess would be you interact too much with TS providers, some providers are weird about seeing clients who see TSs... I'm just guessing that...  It could be many many other reasons.... But I don't think providers only see reviewers who give good receives.... Not everyone has a great experience with every provider they see so it's ridiculous to assume that ....  But interesting incident!!

She could have become your ATF and dropped stacks in her lap.  If thats how she does business you should PM her ID# to everyone that comments on this thread. This will allow the Hobbiest to make an informed decision to see her or not and weather or not a Provider would ever recommend her in the future.... My two cents

If she turned you down because she thinks that you area a "tough" reviewer, then it means that her reviews are probably not proportionate to her looks/performance. Many ladies try to control their scores as much as possible. I don't think you should have to withhold your TER ID during the screening process.  

I use TER as a tool not JUST for screening but that way I can learn a little bit more about you and what you like. Just the other day, a guest was very allergic to cats, and I have a cat. Because I read that in his reviews I locked my cat in the spare bedroom (which I would have done ANYWAYS) but also washed all of my sheets, blankets, pillow cases, etc and vacuumed my whole house twice. (And I keep Claritin in my medicine cabinete as well)  Had he not given me his review handle or had I not read all of his reviews, I never would have known that and he could have gotten irritated. Not to say that my house is dirty and covered in cat hair, but my cat does sleep with me a lot. And I'm tellling this story not to babble on - but to show you that some ladies use reviews as tools to make sure she can give you the best experience possible.  

To me, someone who turns down a potential gentlmen because he has given certain scores means that she is overly controlling about her reviews. And if you are a GOOD provider, there is no reason to try to control your reviews, because they will be good on their own.  

Now, I can see if every provider that you've seen, you;ve given 2's,3's,4's, and 5's to then I would say that I probably would decline you as well. But if your reviews are fair and merited, then there is no reason to turn you down over a review.  

As far as the no show goes - who knows what it was for. The first lady flat out told you that was why. But the second lady- like some have said - may have had some issue come up. (not to say that not notifying you was ok, because it NEVER is ok to NCNS) Or it could have had something to do with your style of reviewing- OR it could have been because you patronize TS girls. I have heard that some ladies do not see guys that see TS girls. You just don't know, though, cuz she didn't give you the courtesy to let you know that she wouldn't be keeping the appointment or why.

 
My thoughts are, keep providing your TER ID, because good providers use it to help enhance your experience. And just keep on trying. Eventually you will find a girl that fits your needs and works out well. Or you could always repeat with one of the girls you reviewed before! ;-)  

 
J.L

Granted, I didn't read the text (it's possible that she was put off more by the content than the scores), but you've given more positive scores than negative ones.  

I've turned a few guys down for things they've said in their reviews (for example, "I stuck a finger in her ass and she acted like she didn't like it but I think she did so I did it again"). The only times I've ever turned guys down for scores are when they consistently give scores that are much lower than the scores those ladies typically earn (i.e. he gives 5/5s to ladies who have consistent 8s and 9s), because those types are pretty much impossible to please. I don't think you fall into that category, though.  

In any event, brush it off. Plenty of fish in the sea.

It's none of your business why she is unavailable. Nothing good can come from insisting on an explanation.

Now you're upset, when you could have easily moved straight on to another escort.

I usually ignore ratings from guys who only rate 9s and 10s. What's the point of leaving a review? The only thing it really helps out with is giving yourself some extra days on your membership. But it doesn't help the community out all that much. Would a movie reviewer be helpful if EVERY review they gave was 10/10 and 5 stars and thumbs up?

I really wish TER would post a guy's "average rating" next to the provider ranking he gave so we can easily see how his score deviated from what he normally gives. I appreciate reviewers like you who are not afraid to add some range in his reviews. I know that if I see you give a 9 or 10 star that it means something.

For what it's worth, I always pay attention to what the reviewer actually writes rather than his actual score. There's too many "monkey see, monkey do" reviews where if a provider establishes herself as a 7-8 star performer or if one establishes herself as a 9-10 star performer, it's very rare for guys to avoid the peer pressure of just following the trend with the scoring, especially if they have given their TER handle away or suspect the provider can figure out who they are.

I have a lot of 8s and 9s but few 10s, but I think if you look at my reviews in total you'd think they skew high.  But it's a function, mostly, of thorough research.  I freely admit I'm a chicken shit when it comes to TOFTT...I'll only do that with agency girls and rarely.  But even with the research I won't shy from giving a 7 or lower to someone with mostly 10s if I feel like the session was phoned in.  I love the reviews that say "maybe she was having a bad day"...well if that's the case don't take the appointment!  If that stance ever causes me problems I'll disappear, spend time with my ATFs until they disappear, and then figure it out from there.  I bet I wouldn't be the first.  Bottom line, you see a 10 on one of my reviews you can bet I had a 10 of an experience...of course, "YMMV!"  (I fucking hate that acronym btw)

So if I'm having a bad day and am not working to my full potential - and figure it out when I sit at my desk at work, should I just tell my boss I'm going home? Or perhaps ten minutes before work I notice I'm a klutz or I get a phone call from a distressed friend. Meh, I'll just call my boss and tell him I can't make it, sacrifice the car payment, and say screw the kids. They'll eat tomorrow.  

A lot of times we don't realize it's going to be a bad day until we get into work. Remember, honey, just like you we have to put food on the table and roofs over our heads.  

When I became very sick a while back, damned straight I went into work every day and tried. Some days i was just slower than others. I had bills to pay and people I was taking care of. One day not working was a big deal.  

So how many guys who agree with this statement have spent time at work jackin around on TER and wasting their employers money? Oops! Work ethic comes in all forms. Not just blow jobs or bad hair days. ;)

Sorry babe, love ya, but Your job is to speak up if you're unhappy with service to the service provider so she can have a chance to do service recovery, apologize, or know you'd rather she cancel if she's a little off one day. Staying silent to her only hurts her. In the medical industry, and not just this one, we were taught that Unsatisfied and silent customers were not silent at all. Only to the company they were upset with

And I'm not just saying that because you're hot, these are great points of comparison.  But if I screw off for 30 minutes I get to play catch-up to get to the same place...you can't.  But I can also call in sick and still get paid...you can't, and I get that.  Ideally you'd be able to work enough when you're healthy so that you can rest when you're sick, but that's not always possible either.  What I was really thinking about, and didn't articulate very well, are the reviews I've read where it's clear the provider had a "who cares, just give me my envelope" attitude and the reviewer writes "maybe she was having a bad day."  But it's rarely fair to generalize, and since I wasn't in the room I can't really say what the dynamic was...maybe the guy smelled horrible or HE was the one having a bad day and projected, who knows?  But I stand by the rest...poor service gets a poor review, and I hope I'm able to tell the different between a little slower than usual but still very satisfying and being screwed over.  This is all academic for you, though...can't imagine you giving anything but your all!

I think I may have gotten too descriptive and gotten off point, actually. Probably should have asked for clarification so I could properly zone in on that part... But maybe I answered someone's silent questions! ;)

I feel I've had my days, (even full days,) where I was a little off and didn't really realize it until I got part way into the appointment, or just before one. I've felt bad but the guy seemed happy in the end.  

I think a good way to make up for it is to extend the time to finish up if the guy can.  

I did, however, not do so well in a couple when the guys made rude comments. I usually couldn't figure out why I felt like I wasn't giving the guy a good time... Then I realized it was bc my confidence was being shot down by the guy in a manipulative way. Just enough to keep me there, but just enough to affect my performance. Of course, never see those guys again, and don't feel bad bc they simply paid me to put up with their shit lol. I say this part because the guy's attitude does affect our performance. If we don't feel sexy due to reactions of a man, it's not going to be natural and top notch service.  

It's also VERY rare if one knows how to screen and discern well, and I'm lucky to say most clients are fantastic gentlemen... But that one or two who really make you feel like you're not sexy - those are tough. It's hard to know unless you're there, whether a good or bad review. Sometimes, you're right, it is the guy.  


-- Modified on 3/16/2014 4:40:53 PM

Why on earth someone would want to show up and belittle a girl is beyond my ability to comprehend.  How insecure, misogynistic, and generally damaged a guy must be to do that.  Here's hoping you encounter that but rarely.

We're actually very lucky to have a choice. In some places you just have to deal with people who aren't that nice. I actually think there are guys who don't realize it. But really, it's never that bad. I haven't had to end a date since last summer.  

You guys are really amazing. The media makes this profession look bad, and when I walked into this, I did not expect guys to be so awesome and complimentary. You GO! Lolol :D

BigFakeTits4Me395 reads

Inconsistent scores equal inconsistent experiences with completely different providers. It makes complete sense.

Don't give TER handle since you see TSs?

Please, show me your statistics on how trans women are less safe than any other provider. Please.  I would love to see them. I cannot stand transphobia of any sort, especially between and among providers and hobbyists. Him seeing trans women should hold no baring on a decision to see him or not. As far as those who do see it as a reason not to see someone, I'd suggest getting past stereotypes about trans people on general and bring your views into a more sex-positive realm.

Now, none of us know how you behave during your sessions, but some guys who write like that make it clear what is going through their head while they're there. I have even had people narrate the session the way you write. Preeeetty awkward... They may be honest reviews, but that's separate from the way she might not want to see someone who will make her feel as if she is being critiqued the whole time, even if it's a good one. You might be wonderful in person, but if she is uncomfortable seeing a guy who makes her feel that way, she might want to pass on you. It really does have more to do with the kind of people we click with than the scores most of the time, especially since yours are very fair to begin with.  

We all see our pictures, if you know what I mean :-)

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