I thought I had outgrown days like this. Fate provided me with a rare two hour window today in which I could safely engage in the hobby. Knowing the window was coming, I began preparing yesterday, compiling a list of the providers in my area who caught my eye and even emailing and texting some of them in advance about their availability. The few responses I got were "Call tomorrow when you're ready." Fine. I even located a local AMP that had started advertising on another site recently to use as my "fall-back position."  
   
 So this morning arrives, and I'm calling down my list. No answers. I'm starting to panic. Finally, I get a response from one of my most intriguing choices--a tall well-reviewed 19-year-old. It turns out, her location is about 25 minutes away. At this point I've already wasted 10-15 minutes on the phone. I do the mental math and realize that there is no margin of error--if she plays the "Wait in the parking lot for 15 minutes" game, I'm screwed. I opt out and go to my fall back AMP.  
   
 This isn't my first AMP trip, so I should have known how it was going to end. First time at a relatively new location--I got a great massage from a woman old enough to be my mother. Okay, older sister, but still, she was not a tall 19 year old. Also, there were, of course, no extras (Not that I was particularly excited about the extras, but any port in a storm, you know?).  The moral of the story? Don't go to a new AMP for the first time unless you need just need a good massage. If you're looking for fun in the hobby, read the reviews and go with the sure thing, even if it means taking the half hour instead of the hour. Here endeth the lesson.