Emergency escort services

I was at a shuttle stop at one of the Midway Airport long term parking lots the other day, and I noticed the emergency call box. It seems travelers can now press a button for assistance. The services provided were listed as:

Tire changing
Jumper services
Escort services

Well I don't quite know where to begin. I guess escort services are for hobbyists who neglect to plan ahead and make an appointment before leaving home. More importantly, I'm so happy that the city department of transportation has moved away from the condescending attitude that's so prevalent in society about everyone feeling justified in acting like morals police. It's terrific that they place such an emphasis on customer service, and understand that great service takes the whole person into account. Maybe they can publish a directory of providers available through the city?

I love the 21st century!