Over the years, I've been asked by a few sex workers why I never seem to want FS (I've actually been asked the same by women I've dated). The reason is that I'm physically incapable of staying hard with a condom on... it's not a recent thing or age related, I've been like that since I began having sex in my late teens. Apparently, I am weird or broken somehow because no matter how many I've tried, I can't get enough feeling and go soft after a couple minutes. I've tried all the sensitivity training, refraining from masturbation, etc. Nothing has ever made a difference.

The touchy point of this has been explaining it. Most of the time I'm suspected of lying to try and trick people into unprotected sex. Since asking for unprotected sex with an escort sounds like a great way to get blacklisted, or beaten up (or worse), I wouldn't request that.

So I guess my question is, how do I explain this without setting off people's alarm bells, or making them think there's something else wrong with me? I never really thought it was that big of a deal, personally, but I'm kind of developing a complex about it. And it's definitely frustrating trying to explain it and yet again seeing someone's facial expression change completely to "yeah right, who else did you tell this BS story to?"

Just be honest and tell her why you don't or can't go FS. All the providers I see have no problem with me not going FS. Of course I always go FS with my ATF.

END OF MESSAGE

Have you seen your doctor and/or a urologist to make sure that you don't have any physical issues that are causing your problem?  You could also discuss ED meds with your doc to see if that might be a solution.

If none of the above applies to your situation, I would just be honest with whichever provider(s) you are planning to see.  Another poster also mentioned the FC (female condom) which gives the closest sensation to BBFS that you'll find.  Look for a provider who offers the FC2 female condoms, as an alternative.

Well it's not on my menu anyways but it's your session and you have other preferences I would have the chat before the session and aim to pic providers who are good with their hands or oral instead. Communication is key.  This isn't a BS story and trust me it's not that uncommon.  I would absolutely never give a "facial expression," if someone brought this up. My time with my clients is to hopefully make them feel awesome, not judge their hardness.  This sounds like something that is causing you some stress if your into physiology reading or very simply put stress releases cortisol (hormone) and is a huge contributing blocker to both male and female reproductive systems in addition to any blood pressure medications if they are taken or possibly needed.  I could ask an entire list of questions but this wouldn't be the place to discuss.  I also have a fair amount of tips both professional and I guess somewhat unprofessional. Please feel free to email me or look into your Heath care network and seek a licensed professional.

You've gotten some good answers but if it was me and I'd done the things I was going to do about it I wouldn't feel any need to explain. I'd just go with "well I really just love oral [or...]"

The provider is there to pleasure you. If her attitude is negative or skeptical or overly "helpful" you can always find someone else. There are a lot of truly wonderful, extroardinary ladies doing this. They don't judge me, and they certainly could. I don't know what I'd do without them. They have a huge range of attitudes and skills. Find one or several who are right for you.

....try a penis pump.  Gets your cock rock hard, slide a cock ring on, and off you go.  Over the past few years I have had inconsistent results with ED meds, so I take the pump with me as back up.

If you go this route, you may need Magnum condoms, in my case the head gets unusually big.

You probably not cum this way, but it is fun pumping away and the view is great when she is riding you.

I have had a few providers even tell me the pump widens my cock such that the feeling for them is wonderful.

Just a thought.

Have to be intercourse... I recently had a client who does not stick anything in any vaginas, it's religion related.  Just say want intimacy not sex... You shouldn't feel awkward or embarrassed..  Trust me there's a lot of people who are doing the same thing..

I agree! I've had plenty of dates like this, and I didn't find them strange at all. Happens a lot more often than guys think.