This is a post in attempts to communicate of of the issues hobbyists have with providers.
Please I am just trying to get communication from hobbyists to make a better experience from providers.
If we like it more we will go more

Some of my pet peeves.
1.) girls asking if you are married.
2.) girls that are not fresh downstairs. (I am sure girls will say same about guys)
3.) messy apartments.
4.) girls that are uninterested.

Guys please comment on how to make your experience better

But since I have been booking for a few girls, the biggest thing that they do that bother ME are....

For some reason they don't value punctuality, I look at this like my own personal brand and I think as a provider you should always be on time. I mean no one can be perfectly on time all the time, but you shouldn't always be late either. I'm sure that bothers the hobbyist

... I'll let you know my pet peeves, but I'll just let you continue on with your fantasy!

Remember, you're hiring women to be a fantasy. Are there women, (or men,) who really meet these fantasies in real life?

best way to eliminate problem, move on and don't look back.

END OF MESSAGE

Too much conversation off the subject of setting the mood. Someone has already commented that the lady should be my fantasy. I am happy to get to know you better, but lets keep the convo intimate when we are setting the mood.

Providers that clearly are uninterested. While I'm with you, I wanna feel like I am the center of your attention. There's a bunch of different types of providers that offer different services,  but no matter what I am there for you should be into it. I'm sure all hobbyists have had that experience with a lady that felt like its her job to just lay there and take direction.  

Not setting the mood. Burn a sweet smelling candle. Play some intimate music. Make sure the room is clean. Wear sexy lingerie that reveals enough to get me interested i what's underneath, preferably something that I can help you get out of. Spoil me. I want to feel relaxed not look at how messy the room is or see you in panties and bra that do not match.

Discuss the services in advance or have website. I like to know in advance what services you provide and more importantly do not provide. Nothing spoils the mood more than not getting what you expect. But also nothing is more of a turn on than knowing I will get everything and more.

While we are venting:
1.) Posts for unreviewed providers which say "any explicit questions will result in my hanging up!"  So just how am I supposed to know if you are comfortable with what I am looking for?  I rarely TOFTT anymore.
2.) Must schedule 24 hours in advance.  You know, sometimes when I know I want to see you and I know I am going to be free, ok.  But sometimes I'm horny and free right now.  This often leads to frustration for both, cause when you say "I can see you in 8 hours", I have to say let me get back to you.  Which translates to let me see if someone else is available sooner and if not, then we'll see.  I know you hate that as much as I do.
3.) I know we had a great time, but please don't start blowing up my phone with calls and texts asking when I want to see you again.  Since I am single I don't mind occasional emails, but bombing my phone isn't cool.
4.)  "Are you one of those guys who takes a long time?"  Yes, I have heard that before.  Guess what?  Sometimes you are the reason it's taking me a while.

On the whole, however, I want to say that TER has made my life so much better.  I'm afraid to say I remember the days when it was a complete crap shoot going off ads in the Reader.  Thanks to all my fellow reviewers and thanks to all the fantastic providers who have given me so much!

END OF MESSAGE

When a provider is on tour, we all know in the back of our minds that we are not the only one for the day.  

And I also know providers are concerned with creating loud noises which might make hotel management suspicious.  But having the TV on as cover noise while having sex is a buzz kill.  At least for me.  I really do not want to hear Dr. Phil in the middle of a BBBJ.  

As mentioned in another post, music can be the solution, and make sure you tell your client in advance to keep it down while doing the nasty.  

Just a thought.

The runaround when arriving at incalls.

You hook up, clear screening and arrive at general location at the agreed upon time. Make the call for further instruction and no answer and no call back for like 30 min. I will make a second call immediately and if I get vm, I'll say you got 5 min to call me back. Then bail.

I can understand she's getting ready and misses a call or text, but it really angers me when she just suddenly decides that she's not going through with the date for whatever the reason. This is why I don't travel across the county anymore, if this is going to happen, I'm not travelling more than 5 miles.
 

I don't like a 5o'clock shadow on me ladies legs or her private parts. I know sometimes touring ladies have a full day but for me there is nothing worse than getting razor burn from date or feeling stumbles when you wrap your legs around my back.

I would rather she go more natural then go completely shaved for daty.  Gotta be clean shaven on the legs at all times.

In no particular order...

1) "Freshening up" downstairs by spraying deodorant spray right in front of me...yes it happened
2) Using "classy" in posts, websites, etc. - if you write it you NEVER in fact ARE
3) Turning off the experience immediately after the cumshot - keep it going til the door hits my ass
4) Lying...in all it's glorious forms in this biz - "be there in 10 minutes," significant airbrushing, PSE on the phone, DFE in person (Dead Fish)
5) Thinking your in a bar or strip club, where YOU are to be chased, you have all the control and my options are limited- here, your offering yourself as a service...with literally hundreds of competitors readily available
6) Having NO CLUE that the service you offer is executing against MY fantasy, and that if you DO, I'm back again & again. If you don't, it's buh-bye time, cuz SOMEBODY else always does
7) Have any of you deploying the 'jump through hoops' approach ever bothered to consider how you would react to any other service provider, in any other industry, if they asked YOU to jump through THEIR hoops? you'd move on, so do we.
8) Texting me without asking explicit permission to do so...ditto calling, emailing. Inconsiderate & ignorant. By all means, ask permission. Opting out is possible, but for many, extremely awkward, dangerous or expensive
9) upselling anything
10) downgrading - "I guess I'm just too tight for greek today"
11) Default music on your damn website
12) Trying to be all things to all people
13) Trying not to be something to some people, when in fact, you DO offer greek, HAVE done gang bangs, LOVE double penetration, gladly lick ass....all because you're afraid SOME guys won't call - true, but SO many more will (See Bebedolls buhjillion reviews for all the proof you need
14) Bleached blond hair - damn I hate that everywhere - YOU ALWAYS LOOK BETTER au natural
15) Asking me to bring condoms - would your plumber ask you for a wrench? would your dentist ask you to bring your toothbrush? Same goes for lube or anything else. Figure out what the tools of your trade are and make damn sure you have plenty of them
16) Chatting with me about frivolous bullshit when it's clear you're just killing time & not building rapport - we all know the difference.
17) Stroking (ie petting) me is the same token, unwelcome non-affectionate manner
18) NOT expressing interest in seeing me again
19) NOT expressing interest in seeing me personally on the rare occasion there is TRUE chemistry - YES, if there's chemistry I WOULD see you personally, and I WOULD take things further, and have. It's rare, but if it happens, DON"T assume I wouldn't - go for it  and tell me because I assume what I sense is REALLY good fantasy until it's clear it's REAL - after all, how many times do we hear this on the ladies annoying hobbiest lists
20) Getting fake tits...even if your tits aren't great, because the real thing is ALWAYS better than balloons
21) Getting so full of yourselves that you believe you become a privilege, and start acting like it. I have no problem with jacking rates from what was once a $200 anything you want hour to $700 base with lots of extras, just don't tack on a holier than thou attitude. Do it right, like Giselle Parker - her rates have doubled, but she's still accessible, and a rockstar in the sack, with a total please you attitude.
22) NEVER, ever, ever offering anything special, extra, different, etc. to your LOYAL customers. To this day best at this was Jazmine Cashmere. We mutually clicked & genuinely enjoyed each others time, always got each other off. If she wasn't busy or booked afterward, we'd just talk or hang sometimes, sometimes not. She NEVER broke the flow - so sometimes we went a little long. When I begged for greek, she always said maybe someday, but not ready yet & flirted her way into something else to make me happy. But she really stood out & solidified me as a forever regular when she called ME, asked if I could do her a favor and break in her ass for her first ANAL scene - she remembered I wanted that, and offered that to me as something special. When we did a two girl session, the 3rd girl didn't really click. About 6 months later, when I showed up to see her, she had a hot stripper friend, and asked if I would mind if she joined us to make it up to me from the other 3some. I told her I didn't have the cash for it & she said she didn't expect that - the girl was on her. EXTRA effort doesn't have to be that elaborate - but damn when it's there it MATTERS
23) Telling me the PIG you're gonna bring for a 3some is hot, cute or the same size as you...just be honest
24) Complaining about....anything
25) Positions being off limits - not ACTS, but positions. Doubly annoying when you advertiser open minded
26) Having NO mastery of the english language, yet working extremely hard to convince me of your impeccable intellect. Smart is sexy...spouting off about your unequalled intelligence is not, especially with typos
27) Inserting a dozen random-ass 'big' words into your ads, just because...so when you read it, and really try to understand it, it makes you say "huh?"
28) hijacking threads
29) replying with worthless nonsense to a thread with a thinly veiled effort to get your name out there
30) and finally....the grand-daddy of them all...telling ME you don't offer something when WE have done that very thing in the past.

Parking fees. I know some areas are unavoidable like downtown but some areas are not. It's not so much the money, although 20 for an hr is outrages, it's the hassle. I like easy in easy out, now I have to go around looking for the machine to pay, hope I have cash, and the machine takes it. Paying with card creates a record. Then make sure I toss the receipt. Then hope the gate works. Once I had to call security to let me out.

Not being told my references have not come through yet. I have called to verify appt. the day of only to find this out. If your not hearing back let us know so we can give more references.

Waiting a long time to open the door. If you or your agency say your ready, please be ready. Nothing is more awkward than standing outside the door with the maid down the hall.

Ridiculous shoes.  6" spikes on platform shoes can make some of us feel like we are with a giraffe. Keep it a little normal or look through the peep hole and if he is not a nba player lose them shoes.

Quite a list there.

I find that I agree with almost all aforementioned. But when I first started, I wasn't aware of this little things. It takes time, experience and learning to learn that guys don't like the listed things above. So I think thread could be very helpful and important to new-ish providers to read. Great one guys!!

If I wanted a 10 in looks to act all high and mighty, I'd go to a club.

Oh hell yeah. I second this one. Its big and it has happened to us all. You arrive at the agreed location at the agreed time and make the call for the room number and..........Voicemail. I have actually gotten to the door and knock, and hear her walk up to the peep hole and.......Nothing.

If I was gonna cancel our date you would expect me to call well in advance, and if it was too close to our meeting time, you would expect reimbursement for at least the room cost. But if you do this, then wheres my reimbursement?

making a date as a hobbyist does take time and effort. It often involves organizing our schedule to allow for the time she is available because we feel like she is beautiful and are hoping to have a great time with her. Hell I can't even express on TER how pissed I am because to leave a review I must have seen her. Doesn't count if she looks through the peep hole and sees that I am an AA gentleman and she will only see white men.  

If you exclude certain races, then say this somewhere in your post (ex Ginger Rose). That may be information that can save both of us time.

Is there a website developer amongst us hobbyists that will have the courage to devolop a site like TER but has a section of providers that have waisted all of our time with this stunt?

Greek isn't something you can offer 24/7.  I understand your complaint if you pay extra for Greek, but if it is included in the rates then you have to understand there are times it's just not on the menu.  I'm sure all of us all inclusive Greek providers can agree there are times where you can't relax enough, or a client was unnecessarily rough with you and it's now painful, or you didn't know the client wanted Greek beforehand and you had a meal and don't want things to get...messy.  As for complaining, if you do something I don't like I'm going to complain about it.  We are not blow up dolls, we are human beings who are allowing you to be intimate with us.

Usually the picky guys like you are FAR from attractive and really need to pay for sex because nobody will EVER fuck you for free - not even your SO.
We get guys like you from time to time. The difficult ones who thinks they are entitled to all just because they are paying.
We all know the type. Walks in with a critical eye and has that expression of disdain plastered in the face during the whole appointment.  
The girl huff and puff to try to please you, but NOOOO nothing about her or what she does is up to your standards.  
And you are probably the kind who has a hairy junk and never heard of personal grooming. The kind who likes to slobber all over the ladies who are trying their best to be pleasant but avoid the pizza breath tongue trying to get down their throats. UGH!
Also, I can guess that you are one of those arrogant, lonely older guys who turns into a stalker once you 'think' there is a TRUE CHEMISTRY (reading your #19 made me feel sorry for the ladies you did pursue PERSONALLY).
Dude, one thing I can guarantee....you are in MANY ladies personal blacklists. I bet after first appointments, the ladies you "developed a true chemistry" (of course, in your own mind, not theirs) rush to program your cell number as DNSUIRNTM (which is the acronym for Do Not See Unless I Really Need The Money).
What really guys like you don't understand is, our phones rings all day. Calls from regulars we adore or new guys who are super nice, clean, respectful and FUN to be with. So WHY be with some sour puss like you? No need for that, we are not that desperate for your bloody money.
If we get a guy like you, we know right away that it will be a session that DRAGS forever but we  take a deep breath and go with the script we have for your kind. We will not turn you away, just go with the flow thinking it will be over within a hour.
But, we all make a mental note of never ever see you again and every time you mail and call, we will always be busy or booked.
So guys reading his list, please don't be like him if you want us to give you the fantasy of your dreams

There is a reason for number 7 babe...guys like YOU. Just sayin. Not all of us have to be here nor is this our only source of income. If we make it harder to get a date, it's because we don't care to spread our legs for just anyone who happens to have our fee. You should actually be grateful that the women who make you jump through hoops do not see you, because all of those other things you touched on might be the result of a gal only doing this for the money, when she really can't stand you. Just sayin.

While we are on the subject of things that annoy us...

1. Self entitled hobbyists who only book the cheapest possible option then bitch about not being allowed to go over time. If it takes you 90 min. to bust 2 nuts, then fkin book 90 min.! Don't book an hour and then bash her in a review as being a clock watcher because she actually expected to get paid for OMG her fkin job!

2. Do NOT put your big sasquash, nasty, cracked feet on my back whilst receiving oral, or you might just get a foot up your ass!

3. Wash YOUR ass! Some of you are downright disgusting! I mean you actually take a shit and think you need only use TP to get rid of the smell? Carry baby wipes and bleach if you have to, bu good lord.  

4. Don't email me asking stupid shit like "When will you be in my city." I won't be unless you are flying me there lol.  

5. Do I look like I care if I lose your business? Then, what's with all the "I am crossing her off my list" shit? This is how many fks I give about your list bwhahahaha.  

Did that sound harsh? Hey...I am sure no one here applies and I love my Chicago boys, so have a coke and a smile and stfu.  

-- Modified on 9/20/2013 8:15:48 AM

If he is naive enough to assume the very same providers charging them for greek aint serving that shit up bareback with a BF, well that's just hilarious. This is a BUSINESS last time I checked, and I don't want to be wearing a diaper at 35 thanks. Greek on Demand with a damn condom is not the same thing as Greek when you have all night with a guy to prepare and actually get turned on enough to want to do it. How the fk do you expect a provider to know she will be horny for greek at 4 pm next Tuesday? Ignorance prevails.

I totally agree.  It has happened to me twice and I do travel a great distance as providers are sparse here.  But I must say, this is the exception versus the norm, but whenever a provider is late in response the thought always enters my mind "Am I going to get bagged again?"

I have one more.  (Or perhaps it is captured and I missed it).  Calling me "Babe, darling, hun" after I share with you my first name.  When I share it, I would like it to be used.  More personal that way.  

I know, sometimes tough to remember.  Perhaps saying it a couple of times might help.

Great point from the opposite POV.  Behavior I will do my best not to exhibit.  Thanks for sharing.

I do it on the boards, in person, and with my own family. It's not meant as an insult nor would I take it like that if a guy called me any of those things. Hell, I don't even take offense being called a whore. Last I checked, my naked body and rate's page were on an adult website. I am not exactly selling girl scout cookies here.

Interesting POV.  I will keep that in mind.

But if you did sell Girl Scott Cookies, what kind would they be????

I am sorry, I could not help myself.....

And I have never and would never call a provider a whore.  In my view you are ladies and professionals in that order......But that may just be me.

we like you so we use something like that.  Quite often I use no terms at all, I am speaking directly to you so why do I need to use your name?  I know peoples name but have found it hard to actually use during a session, it feels wrong somehow.  I guess maybe it is one thing for me but another to bring it into our fantasy.  I am also with London Rain, I don't mind a little name calling either, sometimes it adds to the heat of a session depending on the vibe that both are looking for..

END OF MESSAGE

That I do. Shame your kitty is handicapped or I'd be tempted to visit you.

Indeed, few things get me moving on than the hoops.  There are plenty of them out there in what posters call "civvie life."

I hate it when guys try to stick their nasty feet in my crotch area during oral!

What big sasquash nasty ass cracked feet? Not mine.

Absolutely...it's understood that greek can't be offered without exception. I'm actually referring to situations when it's confirmed via the phone, only to be denied in person - not really honest. Can only assume the girl thinks I'd move on if she told me no on the phone. Unless Greek is the MOST important thing I seek for that date, I'd still see her, and know NOT to ask for it in person, which makes for a much better date.

And I'm not referring to complaining about something genuinely awkward or uncomfortable - something like sensitive nipples - by all means mention it! I'm talking about the big complainers - they're far too plentiful.

Ummmm....no I'm not "naive enough" - Totally understand that. What I"m referring to is a provider actually confirming on the phone, usually with just a few hours notice, that it's all good, only to change their mind with a BS excuse. And size is a LEGITIMATE excuse. All I'm referring to is the obvious BS that only SOME providers pull...that's ANNOYING...which was the question.

Ok this would be #31 & #32...not reading posts with intent to understand and with an open mind, and attacking someone, who they do not know, and leaping to all kinds of conclusions about a whole bunch of stuff they've either not understood, wasn't written or was misinterpreted.

But in reply....
- I don't know about the picky guys you see, so can't comment on that. I am "picky" in that I try to arrange a mutually enjoyable session, with clear understanding of what's offered, what's not, so as to NOT offend by asking for services not available, or make things awkward by putting the lady in position to say NO in person. Totally cool to say no over phone, in fact, better that way.

I do in fact get laid outside the hobby, and when I'm attached I don't hobby - tend to get plenty in that scenario.

The VAST VAST majority of providers absolutely do meet my standards, and most other men's as well. But the ANNOYING ones, with ANNOYING behaviors, do not...which was the question put to the board and answered.

No hair on my junk, and groom regularly - actually very common to receive compliments on that - I recommend it to all the guys, and ladies too.

I have never slobbered, always brush teeth & shower before an appointment, so sorry to disappoint - no pizza breath here.

Never shove my tongue down a providers throat - had a high school girlfriend do that to me - yes gross.

Not arrogant, and definitely not "older" by most provider standards. Older than most providers, but not most clients from what I can tell.

Never turned stalker. In fact, I said "RARE occasion" because I do in fact know it's RARE...and I also said that because most ladies are concerned about clients crossing the line, or stalking, I would never, and have never acted upon what I thought was true chemistry because I assume what I'm reading is just a well delivered fantasy. On the two occasions I dated providers, it was because we clicked and THEY acted on it by letting me know it was ok to call them personally if I was interested.

Not sure how YOU can guarantee I'm on many ladies blacklists, but I'm sure I'm on yours - perhaps a few others, though I doubt it, as I'm always respectful and genuinely like most ladies, typically have a great time, and often repeat multiple times. Even built several friendships and 2 relationships. 90% of the time, even a subpar, one time experience is still fine...I'm referring to the 10% who truly ANNOY the shit out of me, and likely MOST other clients, by doing the things I've outlined, among others like being high or drunk.

Feel free to program your cell, but realistically it's a waste of time as I'd likely not want to see you if you displayed this kind of attitude on the phone or in your posts...and most likely others wouldn't either. 90% of providers don't come across bitter, angry and arrogant like you have in this post = but 10% do.  - And most of the 90% of providers don't have the need for the DNSUIRNTM list because they have a solid business with loyal clients like me that are thrilled to find a provider that does NOT do the things I've listed - they likely don't see clients UTRNTM (unless they need the money) - their standards are likely high enough that they wouldn't see that person REGARDLESS, and they likely wouldn't be in a desperate position of NEEDING the money. There's still room for you in the 90%.

The mental note you make seems to be different than the MANY ladies I've seen on multiple occasions over the years - thankfully, they've been open minded, not jumped to all kinds of conclusions about someone they've never met, not displayed an angry or disrespectful demeanor, and in fact went into a sesison with a new guy with an open mind. Thos girls attitudes have allowed me to meet many wonderful ladies and develop a few very nice friendships, 2 relationships and one great romance over the years.

So to close - Thanks to all the ladies who do NOT do any of the things I've mentioned...ladies like Jazmine Cashmere, Giselle Parker, the girls of SimplyGFE, Bebedoll, Ahvani, and literally countless other local and traveling girls. You're the reasons it was worth it getting through items 1-32 in these posts, and thanks for NOT being ANNOYING :

Totally get it 'babe', to use your term...and despite another's post, I don't mind being called babe

I"m not talking about normal "hoops." There are some providers, again, the 10% exception, that are WAY over the top...obnoxious screening, 4 call system, 30 minutes late, ask you to pick something up, then recite a laundry list of rules, dislikes, blah blah - WAY too many hoops.

the vast majority of ladies have quite reasonable screening, are easy to make an appointment with, don't mind having a 5 minute exploratory conversation, don't talk in code, don't bitch & moan throughout,  etc.   I totally understand normal "hoops" to ensure your safety AND comfort...but some girls go WAY too far...and that's annoying.  

I have NO idea where you stand with all that as we haven't scheduled or even chatted...perhaps I'll take it as a challenge

END OF MESSAGE

When you break it down like that, your point is heard. Your first post made you sound like a guy that would never be pleased by anyone regardless of how hard she tried.

"Don't be a dick." I think that goes for everyone. Even on the few occasions I've had someone be rude or short with me, I remain polite (I just don't go back).

One thing that bugs me is when a provider won't get completely naked. I know people can be self conscious and that it may seem better to wear a corset or keep your dress or lingerie on the whole time. Hell, I'm overweight and often self conscious too, but I'm getting naked so please please please do the same. Because skin feels so great and being naked is so important to the mood for me.

Another thing that bugs me is having odd rules. I can objectively understand why you wouldn't want FIV or something like that, especially if someone forgot to wash their hands when they came in, but on one occasion (and this is going back at least 8 years) I actually had a provider who not only refused to kiss at all, but told me that I couldn't get anywhere near her nipples. She was inviting me to hold her tits and I did, but I accidentally got "too close" to a nipple and she want ballistic. This is an extreme example of course, but there are some variations on the same theme.

Overall, I've had mostly good experiences so I guess I haven't had a chance to build up a laundry list.

If I pay 300 and get 400 of service, I will repeat often.  If I pay 300 and get 200 of service I wont be back.  And, if I pay 300 and and get 300, I'll be back.  Again, like other services, if I like the person I will probably over-pay on occasion.  I see one provider that is over-priced for her service but I like her so much, I keep going back.

And thanks for not getting all defensive while doing so.  I understand there are providers out there whose behavior can be atrocious.  If I know someone wants Greek with me and I cannot do it I tell him and allow him to cancel if he so choses to do so.

END OF MESSAGE

END OF MESSAGE