By popular demand (and as my birthday present to all of you), my most requested special is returning for a SHORT TIME.

When I cut my rates during the market crash, it helped a lot of guys, unfortunately the country STILL hasn’t recovered, so I’m gonna make good on my word and continue to do my part.

I know that right now my normal $500 rate is hard for some of you guys to swallow, so... On Wednesdays (known as “humpday”), I will be offering a special ALL INCLUSIVE “quick-rate” of (drum roll.......................) **** $300!!!!! ****

But remember, the “HUMPDAY SPECIAL” is ONLY available on Wednesdays, and only for a limited time... AND, it’s first cum, first served (or is that the other way around?) so schedule AHEAD OF TIME, and if you cancel, you won’t be eligible for this offer again (not trying to be a hard ass, but running a once-a-week special is a major juggling act, and I can’t be wasting time when someone else was snubbed so you could have your time slot).

See, I look out for you guys... (wink, wink)