Contacted a provider and she was very responsive, very friendly over email, so we schedule a date, middle of day, about two weeks out. Couple of more emails to confirm, then that morning she cancels, feeling sick. No problem, I do not want to catch what she has.

We reschedule another couple of weeks out. 36 hours before the date she asks if we can move it from noon to 11am, and whether I am okay with meeting her 10 miles farther away (a 25 mile drive each way, now). I reply that I can do that, though it is a little inconvenient. The night before she confirms with location info, apologizing that she somehow booked a very discount hotel. Oh well.

At around 1030, for an 11 o'clock date, she texts me asking if we can move it back to noon. I reply that I am pretty much already there, but if she is running late, what can we do? She says she will be there by 1130.

I kill an hour, then head over to the hotel, park back in the lot, but where I can see the lobby entrance and wait. 20 minutes after the agreed upon time, I text her to check in. No reply. 15 minutes later, I call her and get VM. I do not leave a message and head back. Have yet to hear a word about what happened.

Guess that finally qualifies as a NCNS?

The provider in question is an active poster of various ads on our local board here, though there are some recent gaps in her review history. Not sure what to do about the whole experience. I would not want others to get jerked around as I have been jerked around (if I get an email or text from her at some point explaining she had a terrible accident, I will question my conclusions, but not much - the pattern seems pretty clear).

What is the proper way to share this info? Or should I just move on, as I have? Little cranky about getting all het up and eager with anticipation and then being left high and dry, but I will survive.

While I feel your pain, the only way to inform other hobbyists would be pm.
Although you are using an alias, I would assume you have VIP status, so that if one requests further details, you would be able to provide by pm.

So can you provide further details?

let the rest of us decide?  I would consider this an NCNS for sure.

Why share all these details if you're not going to let us know who it is?

There really needs to be a way to report/review NCNS here.

If you're not going to out the provider, then just shut up about it.  NCNS happen to all of us, but only a few feel the need to get on this board and whine about it.  Man up and tell us her name.

...is to post under your actual handle, and show everyone that you're a credible source, with a reviewing and posting history(at least reviewing). Then when you do post, name the person you are complaining about. Otherwise, like the other guys have said, you are wasting your time and everyone else's too.

Be prepared to have a face to face with the woman you name, right here on this board. The best thing to do is give the provider some time to respond to your emails/texts/calls before you post. I suppose 72 hours would be sufficient. Once you post, don't expect the mods to pull it down because you get a change of heart. That has happened WAY too much. Be certain before you post anything, so you have no regrets later.

I would assume you have never been in the situation where the provider loses her mind and threatens to expose you to your employer, family and friends. It is not a comfortable feeling doing the 'right thing' sometimes. And while there are a lot of good people here, there are also some loose cannons.

Yes I've been threatened before. I've been hobbying for 10 years now, so there is no way to avoid some conflict after so much time. I've been in the same situation as the OP maybe 5 times. The way I look at it is that I was partly to blame, for overlooking the provider's history of flakiness and making the appt anyway. That was the case 4 out of 5 times. The other time, the provider became ill during her tour and couldn't reach me. That shit happens sometimes, and you have to be a grown-up and move on. If I had wanted to come here and "un-burden my soul", by torching the provider involved, I would have done it under my handle and not an alias. If a hobbyist feels so strongly about posting a NCNS situation on this board, then he accepts the consequences of doing so by exposing himself. That's the only fair way to do it.

Besides...you and several other guys have been openly complaining about these posts that don't name the provider involved. So I gave a simple way to go about posting the info, and now that's not good enough either. Well maybe you're a bit too hard to please then? That's rhetorical...the answer is YES

If you think she won't find out it's you calling her out, think again. The timing of the post is enough to let her know who called her out unless you wait months in which case, why even bother? Hiding behind an alias may buy you some time but she'll eventually realize who posted.

Wait a few days and see if she comes up with a believable excuse or at least establishes communication before calling out NCNS. If you're worried she might out you as revenge, than don't post and just take the hit quietly. Make sure you REALLY were NCNS'd and it wasn't some misunderstanding that you might be partially responsible for. That's why waiting a few days is a good idea, sometimes you realize that you're also to blame for the mixup after rethinking how things got messed up.

write a review?