So I was out with my Russian girlfriend the other night. She came out to support me in this crazy karaoke contest I've been in for the last eight weeks.
*I'm now in the final 5 competitors out of 35!*

The judges took a break and headed outside to smoke. I kept the Russian company outside while she grabbed a cigarrette that resembles a q-tip.

As we are laughing and carrying on we overhear one of the male judges let out a belch that almost had a projectile encore. . .

"oh my fucking God, you disgusting pig man!" Victoria exclaimed.

"What?" the judge non-chalantly replied.

"You fucking douche clown. Who burps like dat?
In my country we at least put our hand in front of mouth and say "excuse me" or somefing. . .
we don't walk around like cavemonkey cockman dickheads. . .what the fuck, I may ask?"

The whole place was quiet for a few seconds.

He replied, We're not in your country. Here we are rude assholes. Sorry."  (nice)

"Get some manners, caveboy!" she reprimanded.

LOL!!! She lives out loud. She speaks her mind.
It was pretty entertaining.
And she's coming out to support me in the finals this Thursday.

She sounds like a good double with you. Care to look into that?

I hope she hasn't gotten you disqualified. LOL

did I miss it, is her Russian friend a provider?

You made me spill my coffee!  I can just see the combination of "puzzled" and "repulsed" on your friend's face LOL

Lina another Russian Comrade

Dahlink, laughing so hard I'm choking

Thank you so much for indulging my request. This is class material, you and Victoria should start a stand-up act. I haven't been this entertained in a long time. Keep it ccoming!