I joined this playground, about 3 weeks ago,March 19th being the exact date. Quite frankly I was  taken by the sweet gestures of the few of the gentlemen I met during my visit to the various cities. Every single one of them was amazing in one way or another but my highlights are: Mr. D in Pitts, brought me hand picked flowers from his garden, Mr. H is Chicago brought me a dozen roses. Also, while in Chicago I had a privilege of spending the night with a really awesome guy. He held me tight all through the night, something I like from BF to do, made me breakfast in the morning, run my bath, opened my door and drove me back to my hotel.  Not to forget, he tipped me generously. Wow.. In a moment I felt special, forgetting that the fun was only short lived.

    At the risk of sounding desperate, ever since, I have often wondered wouldn’t it be nice to date one of the gents, hopefully get married and live happily ever after? I mean why not? Dating a client saves one the energy of keeping a secret about the past in the hobby and the worry of what would transpire after the confession. But I can’t help but wonder, will there be a mutual respect, love and care from the guy. Would a guy (YOU) really consider dating a companion? I am eager to hear your thoughts on this.  PS- Pardon me, if I didn’t articulate my thoughts in a prose form. In my defense I am not “Shakespeare”.

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First of all, Why Not ?  Providers are people.  If there is spark between you - what does it matter?  Second, it is likely she would not be all hung up on sex like most soceity.  Third,  I love women who are/have been very active sexually.   Good Luck Zoe

My original reason for seeing escorts was to not get emotionally attached and a few months ago I would have said I don't think I would date an escort outside the business. I did end up meeting a lady who I really like and have been on couple dates with the lady. I had seen her as regular and began to realize that I really like the person beyond the lady who provides me with a couple hours of fantasy enjoyment.

I think having been the hobbyist and escort both parties go into the dating relationship with open eyes. I am not sure after the first visit, that there would be much more than the initial infatuation, but after many visits you have a feel for whether you really like the person enough to want to go beyond just the customer visit.

IMHO too many providers are to into the lifestyle.  They get used to the quick money and independence that comes with it.  They may want a relationship but are not willing to quit providing.  I have found this to be true even when a provider is taken care of financially, many still want to continue to provide.  When I am seriously dating I don't screw around and i don't see providers.  I expect the same from my girlfriend..  If I can handle your expenses and needs plus put some money away in your bank account in case of a breakup so you are not left high and dry then why are you still providing.  If its because you really want to continue to have sex with strange men for money, you are not for me.  Having said all that i dated a provider, and would not trade the experience, but it ended terribly and there was heart ache on both sides.  I did learn from the experience though.  I have no problems with providers but will not date someone who is actively providing.  Personally I have run into too many providers that define who they are buy what they do, not who they are.
These are typically ladies that where there hooker hats all day long and after the day is over.  There are many other outlets for the kind of energy it takes to be a provider.  Some ladies don't  seem ready to take off their provider hats ever.  This also leaves a big problem of if a lady is a provider because this is how she makes a living.  While I am happy to take financial responsibility for both of us when we are together and have known each other what about when we are getting to know each other.  I am no prude, I enjoy swinging myself, with with the right partner but i guess that just doesn't pay the bills does it?   The path you are considering is full of pitfalls and the odds are heavily against you.  I think if you speak to some of the ladies that have been doing this for a while you will find dating a client is usually considered a very bad idea. This can not only be bad for your business, but your emotional health as well.  We hobbyist tend to show you only our better side, as I'm sure you try to do with us.  These men that shower you with gifts may already be married or have significant others as well.  The hobby leaves very little room for romance in my opinion.

I have heard the stories where there is a happily ever after and then you hear of the horror stories where neither can trust and it all goes very wrong. You are new to the business so you are much more intriguing, and more date-able to most guys since this is not a lifestyle for you. When I was new I had a few guys that wanted to "save me". I agree with the whole not wanting to keep secrets either. When I date I tell the truth (I suck at lying anyway) and I either keep working or I go to a regular job and stay completely loyal and faithful until the very end. It is too hard to be serious with someone while doing this line of work. I used to make it a rule to never date my guests, but once in a while I have thought about breaking my rule and I am left wondering "what if?" and I must live with that. The main reason why I did not date is due to lack of free time, not any other real reason. To me I do this for both fun and when I am not dating and for the free time it gives while still making money, like free time to take care of family that needs my help.
If there is someone you have in mind that you just cannot get off your mind, then I would be open and take it very slowly.
Good luck!

When and if you just "click" with a client, you will definitely know it.  And it needs to be "equal" between the two of you.  I have been seeing an UTR provider and when we get together, it is exactly like a boyfriend and girlfriend.  Complications (Really!!!!) abound!!  In my case, I don't think it would ever happen due to age and other issues, but I could see it happening and I wish it would happen, but, alas, probably not.  So, enjoy your time and if anything clicks, go for it!  Like Larry David and Woody Allen, "Whatever Works!"

Well, I guess I just have questions.

• Does this mean you would be exclusive?
• If not, does the John get to see you for free?
• If you are not exclusive, does he have to be?
• If you are not providing, would you work?
• Are you sure he isn't married?

To put it simply, of course I'd give it a shot if we clicked. It would probably have to come with a lengthy discussion of expectations, but I don't see why not if we have a mutual interest.

1) Sure, why not?  We are all people.  This will be from those who never did it before.

2) YES!  Doing it now and it is the best thing ever.  This will be from those doing it now.

3) Hell NO!  This is from those who did it.

There is extremely small group of people who have met in this lifestyle, dated and actually took their relationship to the next level.  You will never hear from them - making relationship work requires both parties to quit the biz and the boards and never coming back.

Lina

Well stated Lina, clear, concise, and truthful.

Zoe, yes, your dream relationship could come true but it's not likely you'll find that dream guy in this hobby. If you can both walk away from this hobby for, let's say a year, and neither has any regrets or desire to see others, then you may actually have something real.

We can dream and yes, there are people here who are worth it but it takes a long time before you'll recognize that person.

It is much easier for client - turn- boyfriend to do than it is for the lady.

Lets say you join a gym and sign up for personal training sessions with a female trainer.  Pretty soon you realize that she is The One and you want to date.

You have met her as a client and you were paying her for service. Yet it won't affect your relationship.  You can continue to train with her or any other trainer in the gym, she can continue working with existing clients. In order to take the relationship to the next level she does not have to quit her job and go through transitional period.

Now think of same situation occurring in the hobby.  Unless she is at the point of her career where she can emotionally, financially and in every other aspect hang her garters, she will be in position either having to continue to provide while transitioning to main stream career, quit and face financial consequences or rely on you for financial support.

If she quits, she better have substantial savings and another job lined up.

If she semi retires while transitioning to another job, she better have marketable skills in current economy.

If you support her financially, is it really dating?

Either the gentleman or the lady has to gamble with their livelihood for sake of something as elusive as love.  Love comes and goes, but bills remain.  

Should he make the decision to take care of her bills, he is gambling that she is not in it just for the money.  If she decides to make transition on her own, she gambles that few months later she won't end up  in line to homeless shelter.

I am aware of several couples who have made it work.  Few are hard core swingers and did not have to "retire".  In other cases the male has cuckhold fetish and truly gets off mentally on his SO being a provider.  I can't think of any other scenario where dating within the hobby leads to happy ever after.

Lina

Dated a provider for two years - I was madly in love with her - but the whole thing was the biggest disaster in the history of disasters.   it just ended about a week ago in a huge ball of fire.   Would I do it again?  Probably not...

-- Modified on 4/9/2012 3:15:27 PM