The Windy City Temperature Conversion Chart  
   
 60 degrees - Arizonans shiver uncontrollably; people in Chicago are still sunbathing  
   
 50 degrees - Californians try to turn on the heat; people in Chicago plant gardens  
   
 40 degrees - Italian sports cars won't start; people in Chicago drive with their windows down  
   
 32 degrees - Distilled water freezes; Lake Michigan water gets thicker  
   
 20 degrees - Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves and wool hats;  
 people in Chicago throw on a light jacket  
   
 15 degrees - People in Chicago have the last cookout before it gets cold.  
   
 0 degrees - All the people in Phoenix die; Chicagoans close the windows.  
   
 10 degrees below zero - Californians fly away to Mexico.  The Girl Scouts in Chicago are selling cookies door-to-door.  
   
 25 degrees below zero - Hollywood disintegrates; people in Chicago get out their winter coats.  
   
 40 degrees below zero - Washington, DC runs out of hot air; people in Chicago let their dogs sleep indoors.  
   
 100 degrees below zero - Santa Clause abandons the North Pole.  Chicagoans get frustrated because they can't start 'da car.'  
   
 460 degrees below zero - All atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale); people in Chicago start saying, 'cold 'buff for ya?'  
   
 500 degrees below zero - Hell freezes over.  The Cubs win the World Series.