Last night I messaged a provider that had an ad up. During the course of our conversation, I realized that she had no incall and had not worked the day before. She said she had been feeling a bit under the weather and was getting back to it, so to speak. I wasn't able to come up with the donation she sought but did offer to help her secure a room so she would not be out in the cold. Am I a schmuck for offering that assistance. I had done so with no thought of recompense whatsoever. Just didn't sit right that she had to be out with no room available. She politely declined and I felt bad for the entire night. Any thoughts

I'm sure some folks will say aww how sweet and kind of you, blah blah blah.  Ever think that you might be getting played?  Would a provider ever give you money?

If this lady was an ATF or regular, then I can sorta see your proposed act of generosity.  But a stranger in this biz?  I know the scammers will certainly love you.

-- Modified on 10/8/2013 8:36:30 AM

On one hand - I am like Aw you are a true sweetheart - chivalry is not dead!  

And on the other hand - you say this was your fist conversation with the girl, right? And I just know - that not everyone is as kind hearted as you may be, and some girls may try to go over on you, after you make such a sweet offer. So - don't lose your sweetness EVER, keep that! So few have it! But just make sure that you don't get used.

It is never wrong to help another human being. I have, in some instances, spent money for food or, in one case, an inhaler for a sick child (and that was a provider's child, and she offered to come over for services but I was not, at that time, able to meet with her, so I just told her to just regard it as a gift), to people I just meet on the internet. Yes, there are some scam artists, but more often there are genuinely people in need. I feel much better about helping individual people rather than donating to bureaucratic charities where most of the money goes to administrative expenses. I always try to do good and think about other people. That's how I can stand to live with myself. If someone takes advantage of that to rip me off, they are really only harming themselves by not being a good person. I never give, or spend, more than I can afford, and never would, but in the instance where I sent someone food (ordered Chinese delivered to their place) I cut down on certain luxuries for myself that week to pay for it. I say good for you. And obviously, as the woman you made the offer to did not take you up on it, she was hardly trying to scam or rip you off.

I did get "robbed" once by a provider who took money out of my wallet in my place while I was in the bathroom and left. I didn't get angry, call cops, etc. I figured she had her reasons and must have been desperate.

Life is too short to always assume the worst of people. 99% of people are very good. Help them if you can. Five years ago, when I had my stroke, I was lying in a hospital bed thinking I was going to be dead. That quickly puts EVERYTHING into perspective. What's $100 here or there, even if you're relative broke (as I was and am) when you can't take it with you anyway.

I anticipate that there is a person or two on here who will call me naive. I don't care. I'd rather be naive than cynical. That's my 2 cents for today.

If the dollar amount doesn't mean that much to you, then there is no harm. If you are on a budget and it prevents you from affording a date later on, then it is stupid.

I tend to agree with Maybe.  You are all correct about what you all have said, but having a positive, helping attitude has many merits of it's own.  I always tend to tip more to a provider more in need than one who is not.  I have never been asked for anything by a provider, but I have done my share of good deeds, not to pat myself on the back.  I always try to be positive and gentle with my providers, and find it a tad uncomfortable when they want it more rough.  Being kind has it's own rewards, however, common sense needs to be looked at as well.

I give to local charities but the biggest few things I have done over the years are :

Donated $200 to a provider who's sons  handicap dog needed surgery  

Donated alot of packaged food to a provider send with her client when she moved here

It's good to help setting all other thoughts aside as people in the industry and being able to detach without  
prejudice.

Your good deed will come back to you .

Angela

I will say this much.  I totally agree with the fact that to hold back giving to someone in need will make you feel worse in the long run than failing to give out of fear you are being scammed.  As long as it is an amount you can well afford what real difference would it make if you were scammed.  You know you acted out of the goodness of your heart & were well aware that you could have been the victim of a scam.  Is that not better than letting someone in true need go without whatever help you could have provided but failed to do so just in case you were being made a sucker.  Which feeling is worse to live  with ?  If you area self confident person with moral principles the answer should be obvious.  I applaud you for what you did.

Right on !!!

..... no you're not a schmuck. It was a nice offer of you (even though she as you said politely declined it) but naturally don't make a habit out of it.

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