How do you guys feel about men becoming addicted to the hobby? You start to recognize that it's becoming an addiction when it causes you to change other aspects of your life to better support it. You don't want to stop all together, but you struggle to do it with the level of control / moderation you really need.
If you have an addictive personality and you enjoy the hobby, how do You enjoy it and keep it in check at the same time?
how often do you hobby? and what do you think constitutes an addiction? Is it 1x/week or more or less? I know my own experience in the hobby (which has been great) has gone from 1x/month to 1x/week.
I think a good target for me would be 2x/ month, but I've been on 1-3x/ week lately which depletes resources too quickly for my budget. I think it becomes an addiction when you start to change your normal lifestyle to allow more of it. I started leaving no money in checking, and looked at bill due dates to see what can be paid next week or in two weeks to allow for another session now. (for the first time in my life, feeling like a junkie) I have been surfing BP ads on my phone during my lunch break and doing the same on the PC when I get home from work. Half the time I don't even have the strong urge to smash, I just want something to do - another little evening adventure.
With the crazy laws, it's also looking like the right time to back it down. One girl I had been eyeballing from BP recently, I was told just got popped around the 3rd or 4th day her ad ran, just when I was thinking about taking a chance. Who knows if her number is a setup now, but thank goodness the person I asked was able to give me a warning. So now I am just trying to take it one day at a time. I had some fun on Tuesday, and I still have a little loot in my pocket - so now is when I can start working on that control thing. It gets really challenging when a favorite provider that does not work very often pops back up for a day or two. You know you gotta go now, or she'll be gone for a while again. It would be good to keep just the old favorites, but I also love the adventure and excitement of something new. Kinda hard to do both with a 2x monthly target, but thats where I should be. ;- Thanks for the discussion and support guys & gals. It does feel good to talk about it with people that probably do understand.
It never crossed my mind that I am "addicted" The hobby has had absoulutely no adverse effect on my life that I can think of. The money is not an issue, I have no SO that I am cheating on. I don't even bother to hide what I do from friends and family.
I don't think frequency alone has anything at all to do with addiction. I can easily afford all the hobbying that my poor little dick can handle. OTOH the married guy who forgoes buying his child a new pair of shoes because he blew the money on a prostitute, now that guy has a problem.
I definitely see the hobby as being a kind of sexual addiction. And, it's a struggle if you have an addictive personality and want to keep enjoying the hobby. If you have the self control to put yourself on a budget and stick to it, that's great, but for some people, it's too easy to spiral out of control. I certainly have wrestled with my motivations for being in the hobby but have been able to keep my hobbying to a level that stays within certain limits. Whether those limits are a certain budget or a certain frequency, if you can't stay in those limits or if hobbying starts to affect other aspects of your life (like missing work on a regular basis because of hobbying), it may be time for some professional help.
Simply changing other aspects of one’s life to accommodate the hobby is not certain evidence of addiction. Also problems do not need to occur on a daily basis in order to be significant.
Addictive behavior:
1) Is your life adversely affected by the behavior? This could be anything. Whatever might be important to you.
2) Do you have problems performing at home, work or school due to aspects of the behavior?
3) Are your family members or close friends adversely affected by the behavior?
With the obvious exception of the “adultery” aspect producing negative effects if caught, most adverse affects from hobbying manifest themselves in a financial form.
Are you spending the rent or mortgage money (or worse)? Are you depriving family members of needs or things that are causing adverse reactions? If you can’t budget appropriately to avoid ALL these possible affects then there is a problem.
Or looking at it another way, if you think you have a problem then you most likely do.
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