Let's say that all providers sell chairs. Different providers sell different chairs, and a few may sell several different types. Let's say I sell computer chairs. A potential customer walks in, telling me he's really interested in my merchandise, but I can't help but notice that he's trying to get them to lean back, searching for the handle that will make some lower part extend so he can kick up his feet, and is figuring out if the arm rest will hold his remote control. I suggest to him that it looks like he's looking for a lazy boy, and that a fellow dealer sells those just down the street. Instead of a thank you and and heading out the door, I get an angry guy bitching about the fact that he's looking for a chair, and I'm in the wrong for not selling him one.

Any lady who reads her own email has seen a lot of different correspondence approaches. She's had the time and experience to match up those approaches with the guy and encounter that most often comes out of each correspondence style, and as a result, she probably has a pretty good handle of pickup up on which ones will result in good, bad, or ugly encounters. I realize that we're all supposed to be money grubbing whores over there, but guys, if a lady turns you down, it's probably because she knows neither of you are going to have the awesome time that you're envisioning in your head. Let her do you that favor, instead of ending up pissed off about feeling conned into chair you really wish you hadn't blown your money on. Any ethical companion accepts that screening goes beyond the posted requirements, and that the question of a positive fit must come into play whenever it's possible to determine such.

I rarely run across this issue, but every so often it does rear its ugly head. Most companion related issues aren't ever worth posting about, since as you boys know, the parties who need to read it most aren't the ones reading the boards and I'd just be preaching to the choir. However, since the people who throw the biggest fit (sometimes to the point of frothing verbal violence) invariably include "I'm on TER..." often alongside "with many reviews" or "many whitelists" in their original message, it does seem particularly apt to post this message here. (To note: while the men who throw the hissy fits are TER players, this in no way means that ALL men on TER throw hissy fits. A subtle, but distinct difference here. There exists a number of lovely men I've met or corresponded with who are clearly respectful and mature, who are active players on TER.)

Yish.  If he was a jerk to you about it, he really sounds like a guy that should get used to sitting on the floor, with NO chairs at all.  Or at least until he can conduct himself like a gentleman while he is chair shopping!  

No Chair for him! 1 year!

Sounds like you dodged a bullet with that guy. I know posts with similar messages have gone up in the past, but with all the newer members filled with questions these days, I think your post will make an impact. Maybe even on the subject person.

I hope you post more often Eve. Your messages are always a good read.

And any one who takes the time to read your website and reviews should  know your views on this.

I think it may be a combination of a hobbyist's feeling of entitlement because he's the customer, plus a good old fashioned desire to dominate and control a pretty woman who does not say yes immediately.

Frankly it amazes me because you have experience in this area (you are the furniture salesman; he's not, and you're passing up a sale for his benefit as well as your own.). You really do know better than he does about whom you will click with.  And my own experience with you is that you manage to be gracious as well as honest about things.

Perhaps there is something about the desire for forbidden fruit?  And you are an enticing chair.

I've dealt with Eve on a couple of occasions. While she is perhaps the most organized and thorough provider I've ever contacted, I've found her to be manipulative, erratic, spiteful and quite arrogant.  Everything is a negotiation with her.

This post is par for the course for her.

No one has ever described me as lovely, lol. Nor handsome, nor debonaire. Average is more like it, but I digress...

Some hard core hobbyists feel entitled. They think providers should jump through hoops to get their business - they probably run their own businesses this way. As one of those TER guys who uses his reviews and whitelist for screening advantage, I'm sometimes disappointed that a provider doesn't consider these of any value. Some providers won't consider my excellent references to have any value either. At that point, I give up because I refuse to provide my real info. Ladies who demand my private information will never see me so there's no point in pursuing it any further.

That's just me, I don't feel entitled, I feel lucky that I get to see many high-quality ladies without giving out my private info. I'm also not your typical big-spender monger who wants every hot woman he sees. I know my financial limits and live within them. I can oggle beautiful women from a distance like the next guy. There are hobbyists who feel highly entitled and I believe these are the ones who you are referring to. I don't know what these guys think they're gaining by pissing off a provider they want to see. If you're pissed off, you're not going to provide the kind of service they demand so what's the point in trying to force a provider's hand? I don't understand that viewpoint but then, I don't see the hobby as some contest I have to win at all costs. I lose occasionally, oh well...

Clients and Providers come..... in all shapes and sizes.  That's what makes this so exciting and fun.

I have my wants and carefully peruse the store for what I'm looking for, and the same goes for the seller,

As in My Chosen Profession I look for quality and value, and when the store provides me those tools, I'm a loyal....

However,The seller reserves the right to refuse any and all sales. perhaps the buyers money is too green??? or not!!!

Eve,
Let me apologize for the neanderthals among us.      Great post by the way.
I appreciate your acknowledgement our differences.
 

Truth in advertising goes a long way and many ladies play it fast and loose on facts.  Just sayin.

I too use my history and whitelists relative to correpsondence.  If the lady is advertising here, my thought is she values the content here.  For the most part Im gonna give her the same data if any additional screening info is required.

and learn a new lesson. Never fail to get something good out of it.

zig