A mother is driving her little girl to her best friend's house for a play date.
'Mommy,' the little girl asks, 'how old are you?'
'Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age,' the mother replied. 'It's not polite.'
'OK', the little girl says, ‘how much do you weigh?'
'Now really,' the mother says, 'those are personal questions and really none of your business.'
Undaunted, the little girl asks, 'Why did you and Daddy get a divorce?'
'That's enough questioning, young lady! Honestly!' The exasperated mother walks away as the two friends begin to play.
'My Mom won't tell me anything about herself,' the girl says to her friend.
'Well,' says the friend, 'all you need to do is look at her driver's license. It's like a report card for grownups. It has just everything on it.'
Later that night the little girl says to her mother, 'I know how old you are. You are 34.'
The mother is surprised and asks, 'How did you find that out?'
The girl doesn't answer, but continues, 'I also know that you weigh 130 pounds.'
The mother is past surprised and shocked. 'How in heaven's name did you  find that out?'
'And,' the little girl continues triumphantly, 'I know why you and daddy  got a divorce.'
'Oh really!' the mother asks. 'Why is that?'
'Because you got an F in sex.'

Thanks, but I must give credit to my "writers." Thanks to those who forward the funny stuff.

Hi,

A young woman attends a party!!! She notices an attractive man standing alone!!! She approaches him & says, "Hi my name Is Carmen"!! He replies, "that's a beautiful name, Is that a family name"?? "No", she replies!!! "It's a name I chose for myself, for I like cars & men!!!! "What's your name?? She asks!!! He replied, "B.J. Titsengolf"!!