Back in my youth when dating my SO her dad caught us in a compromising position in my car she was 16 and I was 18. Needless to say they are old fashioned folks and he informed me that I could either marry her or he'd call the cops and I'd probally get 20 years in a dark smelly pound you in the ass prison. So the idea of being married to Bubba didn't appeal to me I figured what the hell. So the other night I couldn't sleep just sitting in the kitchen having a shot of Wild Turkey and she comes in and finds me crying about 3am. 20 years to the day of that traumatic event. Of course she asks what's wrong and I ask if she remembers that night her dad caught us. Of course she does she says and asks if I'm crying because of sweet memories or some BS. I looked at the calendar on the frige and through a pitiful sob say no I would have got out of prison today!!  

If I was her I would kill ya,  and no court would convict her rotflma

How did you get paroled?"  

Nicely done... I must admit I got suckered into it... )