I would agree that it is intimacy that I am seeking, and to some extent it's emotional intimacy.  My wife has never had the sex drive I have.  I have been thru a couple of longish affairs, which were about sex, but probably more about how I felt about myself.  I needed the affirmation that I was desirable and "wanted" that I wasn't getting at home.  
She has some physical issues now that make physical intimacy more problematic, so now I seek others for relief there.  I think I would resent her if I did not engage in the hobby.
I could go on, but will stop here. Great question!

I have talked to many who say this hobby helped thier marriage but then I have talked to a few who say they realize that the marriage was a shame to begin with and have contemplated getting out....

My question to you.. Has it helped or hurt your marriage at the end of the day?
Would you go elsewhere if all is well at home or does it just get down to sometimes we all like alittle variety and it is as simple as that....

I can only relate to my own experience which I have found to be unique.  I began the hobby as my wife and I became less intimate-not just sexually, but emotionally as well-due to a series of issues external to our marriage that left her depressed and in a funk.  I began the hobby mistakenly believing that it was the sexual intimacy that was the problem.  I could have gone out and found a girlfriend, but I honestly loved my wife (and still do even though we are divorced) and didn't want to complicate our relationship.  I didn't want to chance losing my heart to anyone else.  So, the hobby seemed the perfect choice.  Hey, I actually thought I was doing her a favor.  Well, boy was I fooling myself.  I went to counseling to try to save things after she found out and the counselor told me it wasn't sexual intimacy I needed, but emotional.

I know that sounds stupid and self-serving, but its the God's honest truth.  I am single now and engage in the hobby occasionally, and will until I find that special person that can provide me the emotional side of things (ok-I sound like a woman-so shoot me), and at that point I hope to give it up forever.

I suspect this will require extensive research.  To date this little secret has enhanced my side of the marriage.  A bit of wild helps me to enjoy the family thing.  However, I have to catch myself before I ask for a cover with the committed partner.  LMFAO!.

Well I could get started and write an incredibly long explanation  BUT

I have never beem married and have no frame of reference!!!!!

Ya'll are in luck and I expect a like from everyone who reads this cause it is gonna be real short this time...ready?

Don't have a clue MJ!!!!!!!!!

Done!!!

I Concur!!!

Shifterp OUT

Wife providers emotional support ... no sexual support.

Hobby ... fulfills the sex part.  
Just don't get emotionally involved with providers,
and that's all there is to it - fun sex no emotional ties.

I think the answer is yes to both. I enjoy my wife but more as a friend at this point (for many reasons which would take up too much space here), but we're at a point where sex isn't even mentioned. Granted I turned to this hobby well before it got to that point but it was obvious that was the direction we were going. If it wasn't for the hobby I probably would be divorced and lonely and still using the hobby - having met my wife in HS and never having to figure out how to 'date' or pick up a woman I just can't do it. Plus we have kids and they deserve a family environment. It's not like we are fighting, we get along great other then sex. The down side to the hobby is that y'all are just to attractive/damn sexy. I've always thought my wife was pretty and to some extent still do, but I've been jaded by doing this, but after so long a period it is hard to get 'excited' with her.

Just my thoughts

I don't think that I have ever met a provider that could or would allow emotional ties.

To answer the original question.........The hobbie does fill the sexual gap for the most part which keeps me in a very good mood, lol. (easier to live with for sure)
It is nice to meet/see a person that enjoys seeing me, spending time with and not for just the donation, thats a "special time" which does mean something.......... to me anyway.

I am trying to figure out how to be active in the hobby and not become emotionally attached to my favorite providers.  That's why they are my favorites!  Sex, for me, has been one of the most intense experiences I have been able to repeat.  I often times get it confused with intimate which it also can be.  So far I am unable to separate years of feeling one way during sex and switch to a colder more clinical feeling.  I suppose time/experience is the element I do not yet have that will allow me to be less emotional and more mechanical?!?  Hell I don't even know if I want that!