I'm African-American as well and this question was asked a few months ago.  I believe Gabby Mancini and an agency gave us their perspective on the issue.  It seems to do more with just personal taste than racism.  The reasons were:

A)The escort's boyfriend is black and the woman doesn't want to see anyone the boyfriend might know.

B)The stereotype of all black guys being very well-endowed and the escort doesn't want the experience to be uncomfortable.

The providers who see only caucasian men made an extremely valid point=>the customer has a choice as to who they want to see so shouldn't the provider be given that same choice?

Hi, I saw your message on the board and wanted to respond based off of some of the "girl chatter" in the various forums.

Its pretty much generalization at its finest. Many providers, if EVER wronged by someone of a different ethnicity will choose to not hobby with that ethnic group at all. I have heard the same thing not just about black men, but hispanics and indian men as well. I guess because as a hobby I dont see large numbers of, in this case, black men participating..it makes it easier to "bar" or write-off a group of people if they are just a small fraction of your potential income. The same thing is done with younger guys. Some women wont see guys under 45, just because they feel like there will be less of a hassle and fewer demands.

Sometimes the concensus is that there is too much haggling, and wanting more for the dollar. Which in many cases shouldn't be done unless a provider explicitly outlines a discount in her ad or website. I am a black provider and can tell you first hand that some men haggle more than the next for deals. Its not a color thing, its a MAN thing. The biggest "bang" for your buck, literally =). Others say, its because the sex is a little bit rougher, and they dont want to be sore for upcoming clients. Or just the plain old, "I am not attracted to men of certain ethnicity groups". Which in that case is a preference.

Although, I believe that alot of guys that hobby may not be at the top of most womens To-Do list as being Hot but its a business and you do what you have to do. I can tell you at the height of the recession, you saw fewer and fewer ads with the "No Black men" mantra pasted on the ad. I guess when times are hard EVERY dollar counts.

I personally like older gentlemen, regardless of race because they are much more laid back and willing to adhere to your boundaries, but still there are some who do not..and I wouldn't ban "older gentlemen". So I chalk it up to a bad experience, and most providers should do the same.

You're right though, ALL ethnicities have Assholes, Dangerous men, & Jerks. So in a nutshell, it can all be rationalized to suit the providers preference, rather biased or not. If I were a guy, I would just cut my losses. Hey if they dont want to play with you, well then you've saved your money and a bad experience..more than likely. There IS someone out there who will be more than happy to have your donation and will give you an equally good time with no hang-ups. I understand your frustration though, but like I said there are plenty of ladies who would love those "Jacksons" and to spend time with you as long as you are a gentleman. Which you sound like you are Have fun hobbying..dont let it get to you.

Hey I thought you were in China?
J/k....

Don't take offense to those requirements - maybe it's good they list them cause if they didn't and felt uncomfortable with a man (with any specific dimensions) the session may not be as fun.
There could be many different (many legit) reasons why they post those limitations but suspect yours (and mine) suspicions are valid for some of them as well. To those I rather not bother.

Good luck... there are some fun girls in CLT.

Perhaps we can have the Ladies that do see African Americans in Charlotte chime in here

I would love to see you in Durham/Chapel Hill.

I must mention that we are in the South here

Some things have not changed, even in this business.

I can make a joke that it's because your size...Ha Ha!! But we both know even that is an ole wifes tale!!

I am sorry that you are being turned away.

Come on Ladies...can you help this Gentleman out.

I am so sorry.
Peace

Sexy Carolina

Typical reasons given by ladies (not just in Charlotte but other places as well):

"I was abused by a black man so I don't see them now."

"I'm just not attracted to black men, so I don't see them professionally."

"Black men are too rough and want to f*ck the whole time."

"If my white clients find out I saw a black man they won't see me anymore."

I could think of more if given enough time. I'm not saying these are rational reasons but they are an individual's choice.

And what some mean when they say I only see Caucasions is they don't see blacks. Many will see an asian, but hey that's not a caucasion either, right?

This is a VERY sensitive issue and yes some will find the "no offense but I only see caucasion men" offensive.

Personally I didn't know this was more prevelent in Charlotte than other places in NC/SC because I don't go the many ladies' websites, lol.

IMO the choice is a mindset pure and simple. It's part of a cutural "thing" here, even in the 21st century. And PLEASE don't anyone go and give me an example of a lady's website from up north that says the same thing. I believe it's more prevelent down there...period.

I have discussed this very issue with a few of the brothas, and I always say the same thing: Do you really want to spend time with a white lady you have to convince to see you because you're not like what she thinks you're going to be like? She'll just be an uptight white lady while you're there no matter what. You're not going to really change her mind, once you're there, she'll just endure it until you're gone. Is THAT what you really want?"

Again it's a mindset some still have and resons are excuses. BUT botton line each lady has the right to make the choice.

And no, behaving badly isn't limited to one ethnic group, lol! Trust me on that one

Sorry if my response offends any ladies out there with the Caucasion Only thing on their website. It's your right to have it there, and if I were a black men I guess I'd rather know when "shopping around" than when she speaks to me on the phone or worse when the door is opened and she sees and is not happy.

And for those who haven't met me and heard my accent, YES I'm a southern lady, lol!

Happy Hobbying,

Steph

I agree that it is a touchy subject (and I've read the post where Gabby got nailed for her opinions).  Everyone has their own preferences and those preferences should be respected.  For example, many clients love BBW, but those who don't care for that body type should not be judged for doing so.  The providers cannot alter themselves (within a certain extent) and if a client chooses not to see them, 99.9% of the time it is because of personal preference and nothing more.  If the OP is what he says he is (and I have no reason to believe otherwise) then there should be several providers willing to see him that are just as classy as those that aren't.  Again, I think it is more of a personal preference issue than a racial issue--the problem arises when those who aren't "preferred" become offended for the wrong reason.

Touchy subject.

I always take pride in being as truthful as I know how.

At times though as we have all seen in really good movie plots sometimes it is better in the long run not to say something true if the only result is going to be hurtful.

Then the other thing to consider is no matter what one says is NOT THE POINT! It is how the person reading it takes it. Reactions are all about the reactor, not what they chose to react to.

Growing up might be a great place to start if one is feeling frustrations in any area of their life.

There is this great story I think it is in Think and Grow Rich. This black man was in an elevator and some guy walked up to him and said, "Shine my shoes". The black man bent over and gave the shoes a polish.

A friend of the black man asked him why in the world he would do that? Stoop that low when the man was demeaning him. The black man was a well known well respected man in his community by the way.

He simply told his friend he thought the guy neded help getting his shoes polished and nothing else.

Now you tell that story to ten people and based on THEM you can probably get all kinds of interesting responses.

The point is that man did not let OTHERS decide how he was going to feel about himself and how he was going to see himself when involved with others.

Bueller, Bueller, Anyone Anyone?

Bottom line we are all God's kids inspite of skin pigment.

Now preferences are a whole different ballgame. My DATY skill is legendary!(how bout that modesty?) I do not like fish as something to eat. You know how offensive can I be in one email and what does one have to do with the other? Nothing actually as we all know but some get the infered joke! LOL

The thing is I do not eat fish, is not because fish is BAD, I just for WHATEVER reason decided LONG AGO it was icky and that has lasted throughout my whole life!

I am not a fish racist, I just do not prefer it.

If for WHATEVER reson a woman decides she has a preference for this or not a preference for that ISN'T that her call?

Holy Crap if middle aged white guys with not a lot of hair, can pretty much manage one pop, has more of a belly that he did in high school could not find company in the hobby I would be in some trouble.

If my qualities were of less interest to some then others you know what I would do? I would spend time finding the ones who liked what I brought to the table and have my fun with them.

DUH!

Lets say we did this another way! Bashing some women for their preference. Well is that likely to get them to change their minds OR cause them to feel more justified in their choices?

If I did decide to taste some salmon and it was AWFUL what am I gonna do at that point???? Add it to my dining list every night???? No I am gonna say I was right all along dammit!!!!!!!

So my take on this is if a woman has a preference and it ain't you for WHATEVER her reasons are, what are you really looking for?

Looking for a place to voice your displeasure or some rocking rolling hot between the sheets action?

If you are looking for the latter just decide to call on the gals that show the three signs of nonverbal attraction when you are close to them and avoid the ones who are honest enough with you upfront to let you know you are not their thing.

Isn't it really SIMPLE????????

Hope everyone find what they are looking for and has the time of their lives! This ain't no dress rehearsal!

I read once there was this guy who lived near some whirling dirvishes(what the hell is that? I have no idea!)

But everyone seemed to be very very annoyed with these dirvishes but one guy!

Someone asked him why this did not bother him!

He simply said, I just let um whirl!

Shifterp OUT!

ps one kid had this HORRIBLE birthmark. Potentially a terrbile thing. His Dad every night before he went to sleep told him God placed that mark there so God would recognize him and because of it he was very special. The fact that we are different is something great, not something to get down about. Each of us bring something special and unique to the table, take the time to find the ones who like what you got and leave the others to others. Just my opinions!

Come on, now. Think about it.

You often see white women with black men out in public. It's a far greater rarity to see black women with white men.

Typically, black women don't like white men as much, and they often resent white women that due.

Before we make too big an issue out of this for any of the ladies' personal preferences, let's look beyond the scope of this rather small percentage of the population overall.

We like what we like. It's nobody's business the reasoning. If your ego cannot handle it, then it's your issue.

Well, truthfully, having worked in Atlanta, Ive considered the "white men only" disclaimer many times. Why do I mention Atlanta, and what does that have to do with it? well....urban black men tend to be a little "different" than rural ones, and not in a good way. The rudest phone calls I receive come from black men. The highest number of rip offs or attempted rip offs were from black men.SO... unless he has a rock solid reference from a known provider, I pass. Can other races act the same? Of course, but generally speaking, it's black men who do this, at least in ATL.
I find them more polite and gentlemanly here.
So your answer is, yes, black men are giving the rest of you a bad rap.
But I do have several black clients that are GOLD, great guys. Unfortunately, they are a minority. I do try to judge on a case by case basis.