Figured I'd never meet a lot of y'all in person anyways, and the ones who know me well try not to laugh too much when ya see me again. Warning this ones a little graphic but not sickingly gross.

So many years ago back before a marriage turns into hall way sex( if you're unfamiliar with the term it means just saying fuck you as you pass in the hall), the SO and I had been watching some porn together. This was before she got all religious on me, can't find fault in that better than having to say she's out trying to get laid all the time I guess. Oh wait that's why I'm here! Anyhow we decided to reenact this cool variation if doggie style and things are going pretty well. Now we hadnt been married long and ya know you don't have crap starting out so we were living in a 14x70 mansion( that's a mobile home for y'all city folks) not too bad actually sold for about what I had in it later on. But the ceilings are kind of low and ha the ceiling fan going wide open right over the bed. So we've got low ceilings a kind of tall bed and Ol Case here trying to pretend he's Peter North in Blazing Mattresses. So I'm getting close and I'm like hell yeah I'm gonna hose you're ass down! So I pull out while raising up to finish on my SO. Well the damn ceiling fan cold cocks me upside the head I go flying off the bed still cranking one out!! Seemed like slow motion like some crap off the Matrix or something. Sorry for the mental picture here but it's funny as hell. Me flying off the bed bam bam releasing the money shot and be honest nobody ever cleans a ceiling fan so a cloud of dust and lint goes flying. Here's my goofy ass laying in the floor covered in man gravy and what looks like dryer lint. Probally suffering from a concussion and Love Muffin is laughing her ass off at me. Needless to say kind of ruined the moment!! I do have a cool one from high school where fire was involved but think this one is probally the most embarssing one that ever happened to me. So guys for the love of God watch the damn ceiling fan!!!

-- Modified on 7/8/2013 3:46:59 PM

Thanks for the laugh darlin!! That was WAAAAY funny!!!

I guess I live a pretty boring life, compared to everything you write about, but keep it up, PLEASE

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And don't quit your day job cutie!

xoxo,

Steph

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Oh sheet thats halarious..... I can see the dust flying off the blades....

Back years ago when I was an undergrad at IU, my BFF and I came home for a weekend, and went out bar-trolling for 'boys' in our town.  Well, the morning after, I'm sitting in my kitchen around 10 am, doing make-up, with BOTH of my parents sitting at the table drinking coffee.  Because my hands are full, I have her on speaker phone, and she is proceeding to tell me how her eye is all red, itchy, and puffy because she took the 'money shot' to her face and it got all in one of her eyes.  Believe me, it was way more raunchier than I make it sound, and eventually my mom got up in disgust and left the room, while my dad was barely holding back his laughter.  Anyway, after I am finally starting to convince her that she now has 'gonorrhea eye', my dad finally says to her, "You know, you are supposed to swallow that, not try to see what's in it."  She hung up and wouldn't even go over the my parents' house the rest of that school year.

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I like your Dad's sense of humor!!

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