A lady returned from the doctors and was merrily darted about the house tidying up humming a little tune.  Her husband, after a bit of this couldn’t help himself and asked why such a good mood.  

She beamed, “The Doctor says I have the breasts of a 18 year old”!

The husband being a wise ass quipped “What did he say about your 50 year old ass?” To which she replied “ Your name never came up”.  

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read:

HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME
MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.
The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you...you have no legs!”
The old man smiled, “Therefore, I cannot run around on you!”
She snorted. “You don't have any arms either!”
Again, the old man smiled, “Therefore, I can never beat you!”
She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, “Are you still good in bed?”
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, “Rang the doorbell didn't I?”

.... and Happy Father's day to all the dads (and single moms doing both roles).