who could provide a smoking session. I could not offer it, but I could comment when another lady asked "What is a smoking session?"

I thought maybe he'd like it if we learned how to blow smoke out our arses, for real.

or

I could be when it gets so hot the condom starts smoking and you smell rubber burning.

or the old standby...

One old maid said to the other one when they were going down the street and they passed a barber shop, "Do you smell hair burning?" The other one said, "Slow down, you're walking too fast."