I'm rolling for Roadie since he is unavailable this weekend.
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a blood curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about. "What's all the screaming about in there? You're scaring my customers!"
"I'm just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls."
With that, the bartender opens the door, looks in and says, "You idiot! You're sitting on the mop bucket!"
There is nothing like a good joke and that is nothing like a good joke.
Try this
In a small town, an elderly couple had been dating each other for a long time. At the urging of their friends, they decided it was finally time for marriage. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. “How do you feel about sex?” he asked, rather trustingly.
“Well,” she said, responding very carefully, “I’d have to say….I would like it infrequently.”
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, then over his glasses, he looked her in the eye and casually asked: “Is that one word or two words?”
Unfortunately it looks like your attempt to purchase VIP membership has failed due to your card being declined. Good news is that we have several other payment options that you could try.
VIP MEMBER
, you are now a VIP member!
We thank you for your purchase!
VIP MEMBER
, Thank you for becoming VIP member!
Membership should be activated shortly. You'll receive notification!