The first cut is the deepest

A girl in Thailand found out that her boyfriend was cheating on her. One day while he was taking a nap, she went in, took a knife, whacked off his pee-pee and tossed it out the window. A duck picked it up in its beak and waddled off down the path. Later on, the Thai version of the EMT's found the duck, retrieved the severed wee-wee and took it to the hospital, where it was successfully re-attached. Hey, you remember John and Lorena Bobbitt? You know what street they lived on? The Bobbitt Cut-Off.