IMHO. Providers get jaded.  After awhile you will be less passionate than a " square" chick. Some it takes months. Some it takes years.  It is what you call neuro-linguistic programming. Rarely are there providers who can remain just as passionate as they were when they entered the business.

Those who can are great actresses.  Actually my advice would be to study acting to avoid becoming jaded.  BTW, actors often get jaded when they play the part too well.  

I know if I was a world renowned chef. Someone elses cooking had to be EXTRA-ordinary to enjoy their meal.  I am not saying you are not passionate. Just saying you are not as passionate as you would of been. If you would of just had a "normal" 9-5. YMMV   lol

Nope

I think those of us that are more genuine, and real, have had awesome experiences, yes. I know that as for myself, I've made some amazing friends, and I have some amazing memories. At the end of the day its business, yes. But that doesn't mean you can't truly enjoy yourself and have a great time.

There are men who have no respect for providers, look down on and despise them, only because they are afraid to look in the mirror, and face their own insecurities and issues. There are providers who are only in the biz to make some fast cash, all the while hating men, judging them for what they are doing, and taking out their own issues and insecurities on said men.  

And then there are the rest of us. *Somewhat* normal people who truly, deeply enjoy the company of those we meet, enjoy making new friends, hearing new stories, sharing some laughs, and just simply taking it for what the fuck it is. An hour/few hours/evening/night of getting away from reality, enjoying ourselves, and hopefully having a damn good fuck.

No!

I know I have met some truly wonderful ladies in this biz.  Sweethearts.  This hobby may be a microcosm of humanity, meaning that the people you meet cover the full spectrum of the human condition.

Some are nice, thoughtful people, truly looking to please, some look for drama, some it is strictly business (cold, mechanical, clinical), some it is a scam (doing as little as possible),  I even been ripped off once (I count my blessings being that is the worst that has happened to me in this hobby).

Just as you meet people in other phases of your life: work, business, clubs, play, networks - there are some good people and some not so good and some to avoid.

love and fortune favors the bold

Interesting and thought provoking discussion.  And Gabby, I liked your response.  We'll have to meet sometime    I think that, at the most basic level, it is about immediate gratification and a simple exchange of cash for service.  And, in part, that's the way we want it - hobbyists and providers alike, for a variety of reasons (eg. less complicated, not looking for a "real" relationship, etc.)  But we're all human.  Well, most of us are anyway  And sometimes, assuming that we're not talking about the man-hating providers or the misogynistic hobbyists, there's chemistry and eventually a real connection between two people develops. I've found that the difficulty is keeping that in perspective.  If over time and with repeated visits, you get to know one another on a deeper level, enjoy each other's company, and have great sex, how do you manage to keep it "business" and not get too emotionally involved?  Because if I wanted that kind of involvement, I'd be looking for an affair, not paying a provider.  So how do you have genuine, caring, authentic relationships between hobbyists and providers and maintain the "no strings attached" status? That, for me, is the question!

Re: No, you're right on the money...

I have been lucky enough to have made some very good friends all over the country. Some have been terrific ladies, and some have been guys. I have gotten together for lunch with some of the guys, in my travels, even had a mini M&G one time, with four guys, and two ladies. They were all people who I had met on the discussion boards, and we just decided to all get together. It was a wonderful afternoon. Yes, there are some genuine friendships to be had here. I get little "How are you" notes from ladies I've only met once, and some who I have yet to meet. There are a couple of ladies who have left the business, but still keep in touch.

No, you don't have your head in the sand. Just count yourself among the fortunate ones, who can and will develop real friendships.

Re: Am I on a different planet??

I think your both right. There are 3 ladies I will likely see and talk with for the rest of my life~whether they act as a provider for me or not. With that said, it feels kind of foolish to think it is more than supply and demand.

Yet, it feels like it is a lot more. All 3 have introduced me to their kids... Well, as a friend, not a client. I guess I just don't know.

Oh, and be damn careful of sticking your head in the sand around here

Hey CRTicas, what are you doing, getting all deep on me and shit?

Brings up other interesting questions for me!

1. Does the shit the bear had in the woods stink if there is no nose to sense it?

Oh I got another thousand like that if you are interested! Eating all those mushrooms all those years ago along with all the pot I smoked really opened up my brain. Ok so it did not really but it sounds so cool doesn't it?

My answer to your question is simple, we always see what we want to. I mean "we" as all us human beings.

There was a guy who did not like himself and he went to a dance. His strongest feeling about himself was women did not like him and did not want to dance with him.

He went to the dance and asked 10 women to dance with him. Nine laughed at him and one said, "sure I would love to dance with you"!

So our little guy(not sure why he is little just sounds better that way) spent the next week going over and over in his head that 9 out of 10 women thought he and his miniature penis(did he really have a small pee pee? No way of knowing but it just sounds cooler in this story) was exactly NOT what women were looking for or wanted.

So something happened and he made himself make sense out of it proving to himself what he really thought. He proved his theory of himself to himself.

Next week comes along and he figures time to verify his worthlessness once again.

Goes to the dance and this week 9 out of 10 say, "Dear Sir I would LUV to dance with you". One gal for some reason laughed in his face with his shortness of stature in height AND length were seemingly obvious this week only to her.

So what did his Shortness do? Spent the whole week going over and over in his head that THAT one woman rejected him! Once again proving his most heartfelt belief to himself.

What about the first week when one woman said "yes"? What about the second week the only one woman said, "no"?

What happens MAKES NO DIFFERENCE? What we think it means to us is what we convince ourselves things mean.

So there are people CRTicas that see the hobby as a slimy immediate gratification haven! Some see it as a way to make human connections and have passion and initmacy in their lives they do not have elsewhere.

I guess the most important thing is I guess for each person reading this if you care to ask yourself, what do you feel the hobby is?

The cool thing is the hobby can be prety much what you want it to be! Want great friends? I have made them in the hobby! Want great sex? I have had it in the hobby! Want to feel awful and terrible and feel like you did something you wish you had not done and PROMISE yourself you will never do that again only to do it again a few days later! I have done that in the hobby!

No matter how any of us try as we might we just ain't ever gonna get out of this human experiment till we croak, if then!

So anyone reading this think I ought to get back into the mushrooms and the chronic? No telling how high the level of bloviation that might lead to so I will do as I have for a LONG time now and just say "No"!

Do not know if this helps sort any of this out for anyone who bothered to read through my drivel but it was entertaining as all get out pecking it out!

Really pretty simple, we always end up seeing what we most believe! We actually work very hard at it!

Ok I am off to see if there are any paradigms out there worth shifting!

Shifterp OUT!  ps just in case anyone is wondering I have met just an amazing woman and spend my hobby time with her. First few years I spent time playing the field as they say and have really enjoyed spending time with one fantastic woman for a while now. Neat thing about the hobby is it is really pretty much what you choose to make it! Good Day!