I like to day dream. This morning, my day dream led to a realization. There are probably many of you who have a limited understanding of what it feels like to be a provider. That isn't because you are idiots. You've never walked around in a pair of come f*ck me shoes (or maybe you have, but that is another day dream), so you might not realize what goes on in a woman's head when you ask for a discount. I can speak for myself here, and will not be so bold as to try and tell you how others feel. What I can say is that if they were not afraid of telling you the truth, they might say the same thing. I will try to make this short and sweet.
As a woman, I have always felt that a man who respects me will spend money on me, at some point. I think, in any society but the most barbaric ones, that is a given. The more money he was willing to spend on me, the more he cares about me. Does this sound shallow? Yes it does. But, explore with me further.
In my defense, the amount I desired was always based upon the limitations of the man's income. Throughout my life as a lover and a wife, I rarely expected more than returned love, respect, and of course, vacations; new clothes; a nice car; a house (big or small); a diamond - or two; a big kiss and hug every day; and roses; and maybe a nice card on special days. That sounds like a lot, doesn't it? That is what wives expect, and rightly so, if they are giving you what you need in return.
Now that I am no longer a wife, I do not expect the same things from men. I want respect as a human being. I want to be treated like the diamond I am. My worth these days is determined by my skill, my looks, and what I can contribute to our trysts. I put a number on the time I choose to share with you. It is not a high number, and it has been higher in the past. I received the higher rate with no questions asked. It was not easy to suck up my pride and lower my rate, but I did it because these difficult financial times demanded it. That does not mean my pride in my gift to you is any less.
When a man asks for a discount, here is what I goes through my head. "Let's see. He probably has a wife who gets all those things I used to receive from a husband. She gets the cream. I get what he can scrape together on the side, the leftovers." If he is not married, and he doesn't have a girlfriend, then I feel worse. There are street walkers on drugs who do not expect to be treated well. I am not a street walker. I am not a whore, (at least not in the strictest sense of the word). I am a lady.
If I cannot have the cream, I at least want to taste it now and then. I give you what you cannot get at home. I give you fantasy and make it feel like reality. I invite into my home, and there you are my honored guest. You may leave with shaking legs and a silly grin on your face that will last for days. I do my best, every time we meet. My full rate gives you my full attention; and I come to you with an open mind, all the passion and caring I possess, and a grateful heart.
If you ask for a discounted rate, I may give it, but do not expect to get it unless you are a regular visitor. By regular visitor, I mean someone who calls AND shows up at least once per month. This is how you show me you care about me. After all, on holidays, where will you be? Not with me. You will be with your family, your first priority. I know I am second in your life, or maybe even third or fourth, but while we are together, I do not have to accept being treated that way.
If you receive that discount, depending upon how deep it is, do not expect to stay over your time, or to receive the same girlfriend you would at my regular rate. I will probably only serve one cup of coffee with our crumb cake.
If you are also rude, and the higher your discount, the more likely it is that I will actually watch television while we are together, and/or boot you out the door after one cup of coffee. You will be the last priority when I am taking appointments, and I will probably not be excited to see you again. If that behavior is alright with you, by all means, ask me for a discount. They are your balls, after all.
Ladies and gentlemen, feel free to jump in with your own take on this subject. All opinions, pro and con, are welcome!
Sweet lady, you are probably preaching to the choir here---guys who do this to you and other ladies probably don't read these notes. They are the ones who look at pics/prices and think that you will be so taken with their good looks and big tool kit that you will swoon and agree to take whatever they want to offer.
Yes, you are dealing with Jerks who have no respect for you as a warm, loving, giving woman, who in reality are their main reason for putting one foot in front of the other on a daily basis.
I have never, and will never so much as belittle a lady who provides me with so much joy as to bargain for a lower price. Even those that I see/have seen on a regular basis get what they feel they need. I have received time, specials, dinners on her, etc. at their request, and am happy to take their gifts of appreciation of my respect for them as another human being.
Once I can no longer afford a particular ladies' asking price, I will, just as I do with boats, cars, etc., look elsewhere. Will not do streetwalkers (bless their broken lives).
However, I do suggest,as did you, that guys who have no respect for you go see those ladies who have abandoned their own self respect.
Well said my friend, shows a lot more empathy than the posters on the other site.
I really enjoyed your post! Not unlike most providers, I have lowered my donation a great deal due to the economical difficulties we all face. However, I give my very best 100% of the time. I wouldn't offer anything to one visitor that I wouldn't the next. I guess there has to be a "price" you are willing to except...and one you're not. If you except the donation... be willing to give your all. I don't believe this is a "get what you pay for" line of work. I have a very strict "get it all or NOTHING" attitude. If I have dedicated my time to you, regardless of donation, then I have dedicated the full time(and whatever it may pertain) to you.
I think the reaction to "the discount" question is based on the very intimate nature of this hobby. Just as the "envelop" is a way of removing the "business" aspect so that the intimacy of the transaction can be maintained.
I have learned that the donation is a topic best left undiscussed. PERIOD. Read the label and leave it at that, either agree or don't subscribe.
The one area that leaves me confused however is the idea that the donation is only for time spent. If that is truly the case, why do "tours of the islands" generally generate an up charge?
If a tour is a possibility and the time spent together remains the same with tour or without.... and the donation is strictly for the time... the up charge doesn't make sense.
I'm just sayin'
I think asking for discounts is rude, insulting, cheap and tacky at the very least. People forget that what you are paying for can be one of the most intimate and personal areas of someone's life. The price for her service can only be determined by the provider. For a client to come along and pretend that he knows the value of that intimate and extremely personal service is not only absurd, it is ignorant. My 2 cents.
I deeply appreciate a sincere and honest provider, and commend them for the service they provide me. I would never assume to know what amount of money it would take each idividual provider to share of themselves. That has to be determined by the provider. Truth be told, it should probably be much more than they are asking in most cases. But we as clients are so self-centered, we are only looking out for our wallets.
discounts...sheesh...how silly 
Just pay what she asks for and be thankful. Now if the service sucked, (pun intended) then you should be able to get some sort of refund. But that's a whole other issue...LOL
