I am a big guy (overweight but I am a big ol teddy bear lol) when I first introduce myself to a lady via email I tell them about myself including my weight. I dont want any surprises when we first meet & I know some ladies DO NOT want to see overweight clients. I was wondering from the ladies point of view do you like it when a guy tells you this information or do you not care? here lately more than not I have had ladies stop corresponding with me & the only thing I can guess is they don't like to see overweight men

But it's a rare, brutally honest one...  

I don't mind in theory if a client is overweight.... I like a meaty guy! Hell, my weight has fluctuated a lot over time. I don't judge. But that said....

When you are significantly overweight- even if your daily hygiene is exceptional- skin holds odor. If there are folds, at all, any heavy skin folds. Odor is often held within the skin. And from experience, this is a fact. Even the most clean overweight person can have odor simply because of the skin folds. Showering doesn't make a difference. Because it's deeper than that. Even if you just showered, you can still smell.  

Even if you aren't significantly overweight, you can still have issues. Same  problem, the skin holds on to odor. A lot of people aren't aware of this. And it isn't brought to their attention. But just like reviews talk about "under boob odor", there's also odor issues below the gut.  

It goes both ways. And just because we are catering to a guys requests, and doing all we can to make him happy, doesn't mean we should be miserable in the process.  

If you're significantly overweight, or even slightly so, be honest. Own it. And offer to shower when you arrive. If you're honest in the first place, and then offer to "freshen up" when you arrive, that means a lot. I've met plenty of awesome guys that were heavy. Only a few times over the past 8-9 yrs did I have issues with their hygiene.  

And more often had NO problems and had an amazing session!  

X

"here lately more than not I have had ladies stop corresponding with me"

Could it be that you expect a lot of correspondence?......a pen pal before a date? I personally find such behavior terribly annoying.  Just asking....maybe your being ignored has nothing to do with your size

Don't take offense please! I'm just grasping at straws, trying to help

This is during the intial first email or two. Just the introduction set up. As a lady is this info you care to know in advance the client being overweight?

I've never given it any thought, so I guess the answer for me would be "no". it's not info I need to know in advance.

Same as the women above indicated, and also the same as I said to your very specifically in exact words, I have no issue with seeing guys that are overweight.  

I actually to this day have no idea why you didn't follow through on requesting an appointment with me. Even when you came to the area and didn't reach out, I asked you why and your response was curt with no indication that you were interested in seeing me. So from my point of view? YOU cut off communications with ME.  

Now I'm not hurt or upset or disappointed; this happens all the time, that is potential clients not following through on their requests. No biggie. But I'm sensing something I've become familiar with in your case and I'll try to explain why I think you should reexamine your process instead of polling the boards about physical criteria for seeing clients. Here goes..

What I wish every overly-sensitive guy would understand is that I absolutely and truly, deeply understand insecurity. I've had a life filled with awful, life-threatening eating disorders and am finally, in my 30's, still hugely insecure but finally actually eating food (even in public!), not to mention zillions of other insecurities about my intellect, personality, etc., so yeah, I really really do get it, I promise.  

So yeah, I understand insecurity, and understanding is an essential conceit in the development of empathy. What I'm saying is, to be a great provider, empathy is imperative. I speculate that many providers, if not all, have their own story/tough life and as such are warm and caring people who will not judge you and who will be so happy to give you the time of your life. I understand how hard it is to reach out to people when you're insecure (i.e. how I've felt my ENTIRE life). But the thing is, and I speak solely from my own perspective, always: while i may have this big ol' mountain of empathy or whatever I've been bragging about, one of the few things I WILL NOT put up with and just won't do is hold anybody's hand through baby steps in the process of interacting with a provider. There are only so many slights I can apologize for and only so many ingratiating emails with insincere emojis I can send to apologize for whatever I think I did to the potential client for him to get short with me or seem whinier/more passive aggressive in our communications. I refuse to be an emotionally psychic penpal and while I understand needing to exchange a couple of more lengthy emails for introductory purposes, if I do not have the time or energy to address every comment/sentence you've included in your previous message, I may keep it too short for your liking/sense of emotional security. Maybe you can already tell this from this rant or whenever I post on this site, any of my rants, but I have PLENTY of my own emotions to handle; I just CANNOT handle all of yours. Most people who have met me in person I hope would say I'm actually very warm and kind and lovely and all that, when I'm not behind a computer screen. And yeah, I do what I can!

tl;dr Perhaps reexamine the communications in which providers fell out of contact. I also strongly suggest that in your review process, you do your best to examine each conversation DEVOID of your current lens that people automatically reject you because of your weight and with a slightly more objective POV, you may discover the true answers you seek.

I wish you the best of luck!  And there is a HUGE, tremendous possibility that I am completely wrong in my intuition/ what I've just said makes no sense at all/ I've failed to communicate my thesis, but yeah. My headspace is not exactly an ...organized or accessible space. lol  

I fear I've said too much. I've definitely said enough! I just hope it helps.

K bye.

-- Modified on 10/4/2016 2:28:55 AM

I don't think he was trying to be repetitive. I think the only reason he made the 2nd post was to clarify that he wasn't overdoing the communication with the providers, not so much to restate his original question.  

... I like a description just to get an idea of who i'm seeing because well you guys can already see my pics.  
BUT I personally don't seek it just for the purpose of discriminating against you.

He's a, sweet cuddly, teddy bear. Loves some kink and has been always clean and a lot of fun one of my favorite guys!
XOXO,  
T