After Jessicas post yesterday, I was a thinking, Sorry Jessica.  

Ladies what are the dumbest emails, calls or other forms of communications that you get?  So many times I read of of guys complaining about not getting quick replies, but we dont really know just what kind of things you have to wade through and deal with before we get your attention. I think that sometimes it has to be hard to make the transition from the 'Dumb Ass".

This would make some of the gentlemen feel a lot better about themselves and for some, might be educational. But if nothing else it would be an eye opening thread.

you bbbj?

with this thread if I hobbied more often.  I tend to have foot in mouth syndrome and say dumb things, probably why I stick to only a couple ladies in my adventures

"Are you available NOW?"

lol

you have nothing to worry about here....

anything any lower...cause i really would like to see you but i just dont have that kind of cash....i promise it will be worth it...i have 8' and a very talented tongue

also i do live here in moore county area...and would intend on being a repeat client!

Here is an example of the opening line of an email to me.  I have not a clue who this guy is and why he would even think I would be interested in this?

I was wondering if you would be interested in payment with Vicodin?

He was laughing about my rates that I had just sent him

Hello,

I am an older marrried gentleman who still likes to fuck.

I will swap pictures with you.

Oh, where is your residence?

Daddy

You win

Subject line: How u doin?
Message: Wanna hook up?  (Side note here: I HATE that phrase! NO I do NOT wanna "hook up" LOL!)


Nothing else in the message.
I have absolutley no idea how many times I get these, but believe me, its pretty much every week

with your daily real life adventures and critters

Thanks so much for sharing. I always love your post and pictures..

You have a wicked sense of humor..

Emails or IM's about anything my site or a quick look if you have VIP on TER covers (if I swallow, do I like anal, how do I feel about bbbj or cim, do i like daty, can they bring a girl with them, if i'm shaved/waxed because they only do daty if a lady is, what are my rates (would choke those who ask that thru my laptop if i could), they want an incall appt even tho my schedule atm says i'm o/c only.... *sighs* oh dios.

....my incall will be spotless, champagne/wine chilling and snacks, toys out, i'll be spotless out of a hot shower and dressed to the 9's when you arrive too NO PROBLEM. *roll eyes* lol.

they are all special people.  So I am guessing none of you are available 24/7 lol Why would you sleep?  Let alone screening.  And reading a website that you spent many an hour on would be just too much trouble.  It is just that they are special.  There are rules but not for them

You know I read the entire website.  You wont believe how a tone is formed and there is a look at personality. I sometimes crack up when there is a Q&A page and see the same question multiple times.  I remember somewhere along the line there was a stoopid question asked like 4 times at different places in the string and I could not help it but when I asked for the date I said something like "I read your website and i guess it is safe to say you dont do xyz?" I got an email back where she was cracking up .

My only problem is sometimes things arent clear and I get nervous asking for clarification.   And one other thing is what city is home port.  Usually look at the area code to decide that if there is a number.  

This is very interesting though.  Thank you ladies.

In fact, when I've been stood up or canceled on at the last minute (which can happen for good reason), it's nice to have someone come over so that I'm not all dressed up and frustrated.

up stuff on his that validated his fetish.

or

To live in his basement and be his sex slave for 5k per month (lol)...I feel certain my room would come with a dead bolt, chains and a plastic bucket to pee n poop in....spooky

or

A wrestling match then pin me down...blablabla More like a rape fantasy of his. No signing up for none of this.

Ohh theres more...If you could only see the daily happenings inside a Hookers inbox....whoa

up stuff on his that validated his fetish.

or

To live in his basement and be his sex slave for 5k per month (lol)...I feel certain my room would come with a dead bolt, chains and a plastic bucket to pee n poop in....spooky

or

A wrestling match then pin me down...blablabla More like a rape fantasy of his. No signing up for none of this.

Ohh theres more...If you could only see the daily happenings inside a Hookers inbox....whoa

these guys do make stuff like this up, just to see what we do.

If I got a creepy one like yours, I'd call the guy's bluff for sure! Of course if he wasn't bluffing the whole bucket thing could be a problem

That shit ain't right!!!!!! They gonna find bones in his basement one day...

Had one dude who wanted his mom to be in the room while we did the deed

He has 8' what? An 8 foot ANACONDA? Just seeing that cracked me up.

"I've never done this before. Tell me what would happen."

"Send me a picture, I want to make sure you're real."

"Saw your post on TER, can you meet me in an hour?" (It's 2 am)

"Do you do anal?"