Hey Honey, open your eyes and mouth for Mama, want you to see what your ambien addiction is costing you! Plus I realize your therapist was trying to break you of your linking alcohol with sex but after you slept with my best friend I just wanted to show you what you will never have again, now wake up you pathetic loser it is almost time for strap-on play! And YES they are real and they are FANTASTIC!(Terri Hatcher, Seinfeld episode)!
OR
So you think super-glue pranks are fun? How is that propophol(maybe not spelled right but you get the point) thingy coming along for ya Mr Funny Man? Almost time for strap-on play and YES they are real and they are FANTASTIC!(Hatcher reference again)
Or
West Virginia is for Lovers but looks like this beach is for passed out drunks missing out on the opportunity of a lifetime! Alcohol SUCKS! Try mushrooms! Go to the mountains of NC!(This one could be used to promote The High Country for those in the know that is what the NC Mountains around Boone are called!
Ok I took three shots but never really have been any good at following any rules!
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