Ok lets see if this flies.........

A Fireman comes home from work and tells his wife "wow we really have things going good at the firehall. When the captain yells 1 we slide down the pole. When he yells 2 we put on our suits. When he yells 3 were on the truck and on our way. So from now on when I come home and yell 1 you take off your clothes. When I yell 2 jump on the bed. And when I say 3 we will be goin at it.

The husband comes home the next day and yells 1 and the wife takes off her clothes. He Yells 2 and she jumps on the bed. He then yells 3 and there going at it.

She then yells "4."

He says" What the hell is 4?"

The wife said " Your hose isn't nearly big enough and your getting no where close to the fire!"

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A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved
3-year-old grandson.

It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for
sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit,
cereal and soda in the other aisles.

Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice,
"Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy, boy."

Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay,
William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there,
boy."

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart, and
Granddad says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax buddy,
don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his
groceries and the boy into the car.

She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were
amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept
your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just
calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you
as his grandpa."

"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William. This little bastard's
name is Kevin."