After the school girl pics on the Atlanta board, the pic in this thread, plus the completely distracting tan-line Tuesday thread, I am absolutely sure I am in need of help.
I regretfully admit that believe, however, that six steps won't quite suffice.
Rae’s 6 Step Program for Fighting Addiction.
1. Face the fact that you have an addiction.
~If you find yourself daydreaming about the last time you had a piece of your addiction at truly inappropriate times you might have an addiction.
~If you find yourself visiting the online site of your addiction multiple times a day just to see the pictures you’ve already saved to your desktop, well you might have an addiction.
~If you find yourself starting an email or instant message yet not sending because you’re afraid of being labeled hopelessly addicted, well, you just may have an addiction.
~If you send more than one email a week asking when your addiction will be coming to a city near you then you may have an addiction.
~If you have map quested the city your addiction is in and tried to find a very logical and plausible excuse why you would ever in a million years need to visit there then you might have an addiction.
2. Set up an intervention.
~It’s time to take your future into your own hands. The only way to fight an addiction is to face it head on. Now is the time to set up an appointment to once and for all send your addiction packing. Be advised though, prolonged exposure to this type of substance can be physically draining, and could cause damage to your ability to think clearly and make clear headed decisions. Be Cautious of your surroundings. At no time should you let your addiction take the upper hand if you are in fact, bent on breaking away.
3. Confront your Addiction.
~Finally the time has come to confront your addiction. Make sure you’re on time, freshly showered and ready to do appropriate battle with the fem fatale you are about to meet. Once inside her hidden den of seduction maintain your distance at all times. This is truly important! If she gets her hands on you it’s over. There’s little to be done once she sinks her hands into your hair and wraps her body around you. Once she has you where she wants you the heady fragrance she always wears will start to work on your male senses and confuse you as to why you are really there. Don’t be beguiled by the way her brown eyes sparkle and her lips curve as she leans in for a tempting kiss. This is all part of her plan to keep you addicted. If she somehow manages to get you sitting on her couch with her body straddling your lap and her bountiful young breasts so close to your mouth and her hips at the perfect spot for stroking…DON’T DO IT MAN! It’s a trap! Haven’t you learned anything? Back away! Slowly but surely or you will soon find yourself engaged in activity that will not break your addiction but bring you further into it!
4. Don’t make eye contact.
~There’s just something about those eyes. When they look up at you while performing mind blowing acts of sensual seduction. Kneeling between your legs with part of you in her mouth she will mesmerize you with the stroke of her tongue and the heat of her lips but it is the mystery found within the depths of her cool brown eyes that will really suck you in. Avoid this at all costs or you will soon be feeling rapture beyond your wildest imagination and that is just going to lead you further down the path to hopeless addiction from where you may never recover.
5. Never Ever under ANY circumstances take off your clothes.
~This is truly important. If she coyly asks you to help her remove her clothing and then suddenly yours are no where to be found there is only one answer. Magic. Seriously there’s no other explanation for why a man who has his head together and both arms are functioning why he should suddenly be without a stitch of cloth to cover what God and his Mother gave him. You are NOT to blame for this. The witch in front of you is. She is responsible so by all means BLAME HER! Show her what happens when she uses her mojo to unclothe unsuspecting men. Get her on the bed, over your lap or anywhere you can and give her a good smack on that bottom. Not too hard or she just may retaliate but we want to impress upon this witch that tricking you out of your clothes is not allowed. Be careful while in this position though. It has been recorded that she has something in that hind area that tends to make men stutter and lose all thought. Blood tends to rush to certain areas of their bodies when faced with the curve of her luscious back end. Be very aware that you face a dangerous opponent. She will use this female weapon of hers called a badonka donk to entice you and seduce you. Be strong man. Maintain yourself in this position for as long as possible.
6. Surrender or Seduce
~If you have made it this far you only have two options. You must take matters into your own hands and seduce the object of your addiction and show her that you are the one in charge and that she can’t control your body with her wicked ways. On the other hand you can lay back and let her seduce you and either way you are utterly screwed my man. You’ve brought yourself to the place of your addiction and tried to fight it but there is only one thing to do. Enjoy what time you have with your addiction and let her fog your brain and seduce your senses until the next time you attempt to break away.
Tips: Remember to visit her fully stocked bathroom and take advantage of the man stuff she has placed in there. It’s always best to leave no trace of your addiction. Make sure you check yourself in the mirror before you leave to be certain that you’ve got your shirt on correctly. Walking out with it on inside out and or backwards is a tell tale sign that you’ve engaged in less than innocent play. Above all make sure you give your addiction a parting hug and kiss to take one last taste of her feminine wiles with you before you go.
Don’t worry man, you’ll have another chance to follow these steps another day.
***Disclaimer***
~Those who know me know that I would never attempt to ridicule or make fun of any person at any time. This post is supposed to be fun and light hearted and while it does parody a serious topic, addiction, please do not take it to mean that I do not personally feel that real addiction is a serious and life threatening thing to go through. I applaud those within the community who have had to face a real situation within this topic and hopefully you understand that I, in no way, seek to make light of your experiences. Have fun and be safe!!!
~Rae Monroe~
I know I love looking at your photos and visit your site WAY too much!
Perhaps one day....
A girl can always dream ![]()
Where there is a will there is a way. Just call me muff diver Rae in my spare time. Yummy!!!!!
Maybe I could call you Muffy the escort slayer!
you have nailed me!
Not that I was in a denial phase before, this post definitely confirms that I am indeed addicted to you.
And, No, I DO NOT want to be cured!! LOL
On how to easily and stealthily further your addiction...hehehehe
hourly....at least! ![]()
O.K. Darlin', you've seen "MiniMeat." He's about as stealth as he can be. He slipped in under YOUR radar un-noticed, didn't he?
Rae, a brilliant and creative post...I would have read it but I was too busy looking at your picture. Just kidding. Please keep it up.
p.s. I wish our board could take things as intended...how sad of a statement about our board that you felt a disclaimer was necessary.
Thank you for the sweet comments. I felt that in light that there are many different personalities on this site that it was necessary to let it be known my feelings. The disclaimer is for anyone who may have or could have gotten offended by the parody.
I agree however. I do wish light hearted teasing and kidding around could be taken as such. And as for keeping it up, well hopefully I got YOURS up a little eh?
Rehab is for quitters! I am finally recovered, renourished, re-energized, and tuned up. You have now inspired me start the quest to rediscover my abs, experience first hand the five types of orgasms, and make you super comfortable!
After the school girl pics on the Atlanta board, the pic in this thread, plus the completely distracting tan-line Tuesday thread, I am absolutely sure I am in need of help.
I regretfully admit that believe, however, that six steps won't quite suffice. ![]()
I don't believe I could resist several steps. The no eye contact and no clothing removal would not work.
On the other hand the confront your addiction (women are my weakness), set up an intervention (not so easy) and surrender (depends on the attraction). Sounds rather enticing.
If I were a little closer or I little less constrained by location and work, I would let you set me free.
I have been so close, but yet so far. You are a shining star. I would love to crash into your attraction. You are the solar center of the Carolinas--even though you are in Ga.
I do love a sweet peach. Maybe one day.
