are Don't feed the Trolls day!....
In an effort to bring some smiles and humor back to this board...

Jokes, pictures, and Funny stories are encouraged

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Well who could say no to a pretty lady?
Grace's story on the embarrassing moments thread reminded me of a similar situation I got into with a high school girlfriend.

So we are at her place, her parents are gone so being typical 16 or 17 year old kids ya know what's going on. So she had her hair pulled back in one of those cute young girl ponytail holders giving what I remember to be a stellar BJ. Well probally not as good as I thought it was but at 17 any BJ is stellar!! Moved on to CG and she let her hair down and flipped the hair bow thingy(don't know what the hell ya call it) on the nightstand where she had some candles going to enhance the mood I guess. Again at that age ya really don't need much mood enhancement, hell 10 minutes, a truck bed and a deserted hay field will do the same trick. We both had our eyes closed enjoying the moment, just sure we were madly in love, yeah right!! 3 weeks later we had both moved on. I smell something burning and she had tossed the hair thingy right in the candles, it was starting to almost touch the curtains. I jump up and run to the bathroom for water to put it out. All I can find are those little Dixie Cups ya keep by the sink for brushing you're teeth. So here I come in to save the day, butt ass naked, manhood flopping around still wearing a cover, carrying the smallest cups of water you can imagine throwing it on the fire. Luckily after about 3 trips I had saved the day. She was all to hell just knowing she had probally burnt the damn house down. Of course it goes without saying that wasn't the only flame that got out out that day, couldn't get her back in the mood after that. Had some fun for a few more weeks and then the usual high school problems made us part ways, other girls and other guys LOL!!  

Actually glad that one didn't work out I still see her around town now and then, I know I've changed a lot since then but she's pretty hefty I'll leave it at that!!  
Ok someone else's turn to keep the fun going!!

Oh GAWD, you crack me up.  

I think back to HS, & all I can remember is that I am the AV geek, voted #2 for class clown (well, I had to do something to entertain myself ), who was " lucky " enough to get a date to the prom with a pretty girl, & who after spending at that time was a  huge chunk of change on flowers, tux rental, prom tickets, etc. ( my money, I was working at the Ponderosa Steakhouse )., at the end of the night ( & it was actually morning ), she said " I guess you deserve a kiss", to which I said, "no thanks", and drove home & jacked off, LoL.  Found out later, she had just used me just to go to the prom, her "boyfriend" was older, and didn't want to take her.   Of course you know, Karma is a bitch, ran into her several years later after I went to college & graduated, and she was a clerk in a retail store, didn't look that pretty anymore...................  

Yeah, Karma, gotta love it

Believe it or not I was voted most talkative. Like that's hard to believe!!! Yeah its funny how some folks turn out, I had a couple teachers tell me I'd probally wind up in prison cause I always like to skirt the rules a bit. Sounds legit hell look at my hobby!! Funny thing a whiles back my kids school got some kind of award it was supposed to be a big deal with all the school board and shit there. Long story short I've actually ran the youth sports programs there for the last few years so the principal asked me to address the parents and kids there. Kind of cool went up right after the superintendant, as its been a while since school for me a lot of those teachers who said I wouldn't amount to anything are on the school board now. Pretty priceless the look on their faces when I got up to speak. My old biology teacher said never thought ya had that in ya. I asked if he remembered ------- ------, the teachers pet from our class he did and I said yeah last I heard she was giving hand jobs for crack!!  Yep Karma is a motha sometimes!!!

with a girl and we had been going at it hard for about 30 min.
I look down and there is something dark on the condom, first reaction..is it her blood or from me?

Turns out one of her long black hairs had rolled up into a ball inside the condom lol

Here is a smile from days gone by

Welcome back Mr Mayor. LOL!!!

I came home from college one weekend, and happened to run into an old girlfriend who was also visiting home.  We decided to take a drive and catch up.   As we drove around and talked, it became obvious that we were both interested in catching up on more than just the latest news.  Now, we were from a small rural town, and there are not many places to get privacy, if you know what I mean, except in the country.  We drove out to a local farm I knew and parked on a grassy hill next to a small pond.  Well, I had a 1972 Chevelle Malibu with a manual transmission, so no room in the front, and we were in the backseat doing our thing.  The car was rocking away and the windows were fogged, and in the middle of our "performance" I noticed a bunch of shadows going by the windows.  I said "what the hell I think there’s a gang of people outside watching us", so we jump up, scrambling to try and get our clothes back on.   It was then I noticed that the shadows going by the window weren’t people, they were trees.......... yes trees.......... the damn car was slowly rolling down the hill.  I had to jump into the front seat head first and I pressed on the brake with my hands, with my pants down to my knees and my bare ass sticking up in the air - lol!   I guess we knocked the damn thing out of gear in our exuberance and didn't notice we were slowly rolling along.  We only rolled about 30 yards or so in the grass but it was still a heart pounding experience.  We laughed our asses off after that, but it kind of broke the mood.

Have shared this before BUT IT HAS TO BE SEEN OVER AND OVER TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OH THE HUMANITY!!!!!!!!!!!

ENJOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Shifterp OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Back in the day, I settled many times for a burger and a grape, LOL.  But, as the song says, sometimes "We got a little crazy but we never got caught"!!