I am not at all sure why I am posting this, other than just to put it in writing to make myself read it. While I am not what one might call a serious "hobbyist", I have been fortunate enough to meet a few of the wonderful Ladies in the Carolinas.
I have recently reached another birthday, and those are always good for reflection as to what I have brought to the party of life, and how I will be recalled, by those I care about and by those (few) who care about me. I recently spent some time with one of those ladies (around my birthday) and told her I may be "retiring". She was incredibly sweet, and encouraged me to reconsider if I was doing so just because I felt old, which I will admit is a part of the puzzle. Stroked my ego of course, and she knows if she is reading this that I truly appreciate her.
My problem is that I recognize that my personal pleasures sometimes have to be put on a back burner, and maybe even extinguished altogether. I have an obligation to someone who now is undergoing a medical situation that has her scared to death. And I have to devote every waking hour that I am not working (and a whole bunch of them when I am working), to make sure she knows I will be there for her. I cannot in good conscience be looking for my own enjoyment, however fleeting and temporary, when she is scared and dependent on me, not just financially but emotionally as well.
I have always tried to convince myself that when someone who is a spouse or significant other does not know certain things are going one, then she/he is not hurt by them, and I am still not sure that is not true....but....I have to live with myself, and I have to be able to look into the mirror and know I am doing ALL I can for those I made promises to.
So, not that anyone was missing me or will anyway, but just in case anyone does, I want to let you know that I will be stepping back for now. Not sure if that is a forever thing, time will tell. For the next few months though, I have to be good in every way I can be.
As an aside, I have deleted my email account that some of you may have, so if you write and I dont reply, it is simply because I deleted the account. If I come back to life in the future, I will certainly let anyone know that might desire to know. And in the meantime, i may visit the board on occasion, just to keep up my sanity, and see what all you lovely people (and I sincerely mean that, both ladies and gents) are up to...
Have a great week !
BEG,
I think its the right and honorable thing to do. Stepping back from the "hobby" is always good, at the minimun it helps you appericate it when/if you do return. After all, as you say, you have to live with/face yourself everday! Best of luck and good wishes to you and yours!
You say that you're problem is realizing you have to put you're own needs on the back burner. For what it's worth I don't see that as a problem rather that you are a caring responsible person. I applaud you're decision to put the needs of who I'm assuming is you're SO first. I'm guilty as charged of running around on my SO with these fine ladies here and yes it is fun as hell but at the end of the day I know there is nothing I can do or say to justify the morality of it. Not condemning anyone here I got a "date" next week. But I know it's not right heck even Jesus said so and as much as y'all know Ill argue with a stump I ain't about to argue with The Big Guy. I figure Ill hang it up one day for that reason alone. Not trying to start a flame fest here guys I'm defiantly no choir boy and from a selfish standpoint still a lot of ladies I want to see and some repeats I want to do. But for you to put another's needs in front of you're own speaks volumes for you're character and moral compass, I wish you the best of luck with whatever you are facing.
It sounds as if you have given this lots of thought, and I admire your dedication. It can be a tremendous physical and emotional drain when a loved one is going through any kind of fear and uncertainty. You need to be there for her, first and foremost, and I apprecaite that. I don't know you or your situation beyond what you have shared here, but if I may offer one bit of advice... Don't completely forget to take care of yourself and your needs! I know that is easier said than done. I have always found that in order to give my best to someone else, I need to be at my best. Which means that you need to not forget yourself during this time of stress. Whether it is through the hobby or not, you need to find an acceptable outlet to relieve your own stress and address your needs. Laughter and exercise are good places to start! Whatever it is, carve out a few minutes for you from time to time, and it will help you be at your best for your SO. IMHO. I hope all goes well, and it only turns out to be a scare.
I also feel that allowing yourself some "you time" every now and then allows you a recharge that you may need even more during your trying times. Not to suggest that you should be out every night getting your jollies and neglecting your obligations, but maybe once a month get someone to sit in for you while you get yourself some much needed recreation time. It doesn't even have to be with a provider. If you would rather get a golf game in or go to a baseball game with a buddy, just don't neglect yourself as well. When caring for a loved one, you need to keep yourself in top health both physically and mentally.
Take care
we have here and really illustrates why the men truly appreciate the Carolina Ladies and vice-versa.
By far and above, there are REALLY NICE & GENUINE people who participate in our corner of Hobbywood. The ladies AND the gents. You could have just "disappeared" as others in other "communities" do, but instead you let us know what was going on with a very personal situation. We're glad you did. I always wonder what happens to people who just drop off of here never to be heard from again. It always makes me feel good and "welcomed" when I get an email from one of the ladies or gents checking on me because I haven't posted in a while.
We all come to this hobby and leave it for our own reasons. For me, I found out quickly that I enjoy the mental escape almost as much (not quite, though) as the physical benefits. I've met some great ladies on our board...... & some damn good dudes. When I retire, I hope I will be as unselfish as you.
I wish you and the special person in your life the very best.
And after reading that I want to salute you. To stand for someone else in the time of need and with no thought of yourself, is very commendable. I certainly wish you and yours the best. But as Miss Kelly said dont forget to just take a moment for yourself, even if it is just to take a drive or get a burger and beer or what ever allows you to recharge. I will think of you often and will say a prayer each time I do. Good luck my friend.
Roadie
for you and come back sometime. We ALL need some people like you around that takes his obligations to others so seriously. You sound like a wonderful man and she is a very lucky woman in once sence. Whatever path you chose to take in life I wish you and your lady friend the best of luck and I hope her medical problems turn out ok, glad to see she has someone like yourself around. It's a hard thing to deal with I know b/c it can bring you down sometimes and you have to be there constantly for that person. Both of you stay strong & god luck!
KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much respect and boy it is refreshing to see a person MAN UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Good for you. Your friend is lucky to have you.
You have made a graceful exit and can make a triumphant return
if the winds of change blow you back this way. Then one of the banging broads
can take over where the wind left off!
Hey a year ago the thought of what is happening might have seemed absurd
so live life like a loose garment and you never know what things will be like
a year from now, except a little different.
If you get back it will be pretty much the same, knuckleheads asking lame questions,
gals doing their drama thang, me sharing GREAT videos with GREAT underappreciation.
Did I mention GREAT underappreciation??? hehe
Till then.............
I Concur!
Shifterp OUT!
I have pondered the same several times though not for the same reason. Twice I have taken a sabbatical from the hobby because I had a kid struggling with some issue and I felt I needed to focus my emotional energies on helping him/her with their situation. For me, it was not a moral issue, it was all about focus, and when I was anticipating my next date with a beautiful provider I was not really focused on what my son or daughter needed from me at that time. Sounds like you have a similar situation and I think you are making the right call, though I would not put the issue in moral or religious terms.
Why are asking permission?
I appreciate all of your thoughts. And you all are a really great bunch of guys and gals.
I hesitated to put this out here, because it sort of makes it sound like I am patting myself on the back for being such a great and moral guy. I think the main reason I did it was to let MYSELF know that it was time to step back and focus on some other people for a time. Not saying that makes me a great guy, or even a good guy. I think it was (like probably most of the stuff I do in my life), more a message to myself and a wake up call as to what is important.
Your thoughts and prayers are ALL appreciated !
As a followup, we had a doc appointment yesterday, and while the news was not all positive, it was way better than the worst, and looks like we have a plan that will take care of everything and 3 months from now, it will all be history. Many, many, many folks have medical issues that are much scarier, much more long lasting. I deal with some of them in my work, and I have met at least one special lady here who has been dealing with a family medcial issue for years and years without complaint.
I am thankful for my own health, and I am thankful for all of yours as well..
Be safe...play safe...and enjoy each day like there was no tomorrow...
Thanks again !
