This is a first for me because I have never "started" a thread before, but driving to my office today I passed a location that brought back a memory of an "attempted" encounter & I had a good laugh!!! It wasn't funny then.......but reflecting back, it is pretty damn funny......to me anyway!!! I thought I would share it with you ladies & gents & ask "what's your funny hobby story?"

Here's one of mine-----
I made an appointment with someone (before I found TER) that I had seen a few times before. Nice lady. Her incall was always the same place. This time was no different. She tells me "such & such "inn"......where I have seen you before. Room 416". Great. Got it. Got there & did my "old routine" of looking like John Belushi in "Animal House".......you know, the scene where is jumping around & looking to make sure no one else is looking at him (since I found TER, I don't do that anymore !!). Finally, I ride up the elevator, get to the door & knock. A sexy vixen opens the door in a semi-sexy robe. Only one problem.....she was not MY sexy vixen!!!  My mind starts racing & the smart guy I am "figures it out"----& before my mind could tell my mouth to "shut the f--k up" I speak & say "wow!! I didn't know "Susie's" (made up name) doubles partner was so cute & sexy!!"  She flashes a wry smile & replies with "thank you honey, BUT you got the wrong lady for your booty call.....sorry!!"  My heart sinks & the little guy goes into hiding before he ever sees the light of day!! I apologized & told her I was there to pick up my sister who was in town & she was an avid tennis player. She gives me the same smile & a "Yeah, right" look. She closes the door & my inner John Belushi kicks in to HIGH GEAR. I get back to my car (yes, I practically ran as in "run Forest, run") & looked at my phone & saw two missed calls from "my" lady. I called her back quickly & she was not thrilled with me because I was now about 10 minutes late. "Where are you, you're late? I don't tolerate rudeness". I told her she gave me the wrong room #. She tells me the room # again & I go back in. By this time I'm nervous as hell!!! Dumb-ass me does not realize until I get back to the same floor & I go to the SAME room, that she has given me the same #. No.....I didn't knock again, but I am starting to think "WTF?". I get back to the car, call her & tell her "sorry, but I am not knocking on that door again." She says "look, I thought you were a good guy. Why are you playing games with me?" Sheepishly I reply with "I don't know what's going on either. I'm here. You're giving me the wrong room #"  It dawns on us at the same time. She is in a different location than where we have seen each other before. Same well known chain / brand ......DIFFERENT location!! Think Starbucks here. Fortunately for me, she remembered that she told me "such & such "inn"......where I have seen you before". She felt bad & apologized. I felt like I would need a crane to ever be able to "perform" again. It all ended up ok, but what a crazy :15 minutes!!

Thanks for sharing..

I can't wait to see who else shares their stories

You are OH SO RIGHT!!! It was NOT FUNNY back then at all!!!  It almost caused me to quit the hobby. But, now........thinking back & wondering what the look on face must have looked like to that lovely lady........it's pretty damn funny!!

I hope we hear some others, so I don't feel like the such a dope!!!

Ok not as good as that one.  


But Once Upon a Time.  
 I set up an appointment with a hottie.  Seen her before so very relaxed.  I had agreed to slide by Starbucks and get her a cup of coffee on the way.  Figured I could kill 2 birds with one stone and called her to get her location plus what kinda mocha carmel sprinkle fizzy doo dad coffee she wanted.  I am not into fancy coffee.  Great plans.  I called her and it went straight to voice mail.  HUH? The lady at Starbucks was asking me for the order but I walked back outside. I called it again and again thinking maybe it would work if I just called it 100 times. Didnt work !  So she had giving me another number once upon a time and I called it. It rang but went to voice mail.  Now I had 10 mins before the hour, and  used up trying to figure out what to do.  I am walking in circles.  But then the phone rings with a local number and I answer and thank God it was her.  Her phone was messed up. So I walked back in with her on the phone and she gave me her order that I repeated to the clerk.  She gave me her location and I said I will call you when I get to the hotel for the room number and hung up.

I get the coffee and am walking out and my phone starts to ring.  But my hands are full with 2 cups of coffee.  I put them down and it was the same number  as before but ended, so I called it back.  ---- It was the front desk.  'Room number please' the clerk says and I suddenly realize I cant call her.  I hang up. lol I head for the hotel thinking DAMN Roadie that was dumb,  and suddenly she calls back.  Thank goodness.  She laughs and said how were you planning on calling me back?.I would have given you the room number.   "I dont know " i said like the dummy I am.  We laughed.  She gave me the room number and chuckled at the phone problem.  

Oh she made it up to me.  vavava voom.  Ended up better than I could have hoped for.

But, like you. I want to hear some of the stories from the guys...

I would just say there was a lack of communication, which happens sometimes. Thanks for sharing this story soooo funny..ROTFLMAO

At least she made it up to you...LMAO 2funny

When I was starting out in the hobby many years ago in NYC (when one used Screw Magazine ads - very pre-TER) I had arranged an in-call to my apartment which had two towers with a doorman to cover the lobby.  The problem was you had to know to tell the doorman you wanted the east or west tower because each side had the same apartment numbers.  It was my first experience with an exotic-looking lady and she got messed up when the doorman sent her into the wrong tower looking for my apartment.  (Fortunately no one was home in the twin to my apartment on the East Tower or it might have ended up like krichardssc.)  I probably should have had no worries, but a call from the doorman and the lady from the lobby totally blew my mind and any chance I had to perform.  She was great and finished me limp with a great bj.

Not long after that, I was feeling the need late one Saturday and so consulted Screw Magazine again - made some calls and found someone working late.  It was midtown townhouse with several girls working and a door directly out to the street.  When I walked into the townhouse I about fell over - there were two NYC cops in the entryway chatting up the ladies.  It was obvious that this wasn't a bust because the madam just led me right past them to a room and in a couple of minutes in walked a lady.  The best I can recall I had an OK time - but what I remember most were the cops who were still there visiting when I left.

OMG. And I see cops and I drive round the block. lol And your dating yourself,  I remember the mag, picked them up at clubs.  And the was pre PC.

My mom showed up during the appointment

The Sherrif's Dept showed up.....they couldn't find an address

The guy wanted a 12" dildo shoved up his ass then proceeded to shit all over my bed

I showed up at the guys place as he was having a heartattack

Had clients show up that I knew from the outside world

Had repair people show up right after I finished up (and thought cleaned up after) an appointment, only to be informed by my repair people that I had a porno playing.

Open the door in next to nothing for my six o'clock appointment at six o'clock, only to shock the holy jezzus out of the UPS man.

For the past two years I have been stalked by a little old man in his eighties with a pace maker and multiple artificial joints. Needless to say, I'm not alll that afraid. I'm just worried he is going to fall down my front steps. He is not very stable on more than one level

Those are the only ones I'm willing to tell *wink*

Bet that UPS man never wanted to leave your route!!!
Thanks for sharing!!!

Rotflmbo.  Left the porn on.   " maam you left a movie playing!"   If I was the repair man I just wouldnt be able to say anything.  Would smile and head out.

I was on an overnight date with a new friend at a nice boutique hotel in Chapel Hill.  We had enjoyed a lovely evening of room service, fine wine, engaging conversation, followed by play time that left both of us absolutely exhausted.  Subsequently, we snuggled up in bed together and fell asleep for the night.  At some point in the middle of the night we were awoke by the sound of the hotel’s fire alarm and approaching fire engine sirens!  Our room faced the front of the hotel so we jumped up, threw on our clothes and looked out the window to see what was going on.  Fortunately, it turned out to be a false alarm and we didn’t actually have to leave our room, but we were nervous as heck for a few minutes there!

What can I say - it now takes all night to do what I used to do all night.  Aging is better than the alternative of not getting older any longer.

The interesting thing about pre-PC Screw Mag is that you rarely got a photo, so a date was a lot more like a blind-date than it is today.   I recall very rarely being disappointed.  (That was also the time before covers were required attire for an encounter.)

...days when water beds were all the rage (it wasn't that long ago, was it....?).

To make a short story long, I made an appointment with a young lady, and she met me at the door in lingerie and a pair of particularly high spiked heels....new shoes at that, or so she told me.  So, off to the bedroom, complete with king sized water bed, and into the bed we go heels and all.  The next part is pretty obvious I suppose....through the throes of passion, I noticed that what had been a bed when we started had somehow become a very large puddle of water. As my head cleared, I heard the splashing noise...not a good sign at all....apparently that really big water bed had been put together without a liner, and all the water from the mattress was pouring out on the floor.  Up we go...off come the sheets, and we're buck naked and chasing around the apartment for towels, buckets, bowls, pretty much anything to try to hold back the tide.  OK, that sort of worked, the carpet was pretty darned wet and squishy, but the worst of the disaster was over I thought, and the mattress was holding most of the water still. The young lady finds the drain kit, but needs to go downstairs to her storage locker to get a hose.  So, she throws on some clothes and heads out, and me being a resourceful sort of a guy, I hooked my finger into the really obvious puncture in the mattress and held it up to keep the leakage down to a minimum.  So I'm standing there, thinking through what needs to be done next when the young lady returns with a hose over her arm and the downstairs neighbor in tow, to find me standing there in the bedroom, naked as the day I was born using my finger to plug a hole in the waterbed mattress.  I think the guy from downstairs is still laughing about that one....