Being the good mom that I am.. I go into my 21 year old sons room last night to put away laundry..
and what do I find...

In the drawer where his unerwear should be...... 1 very nice pair of handcuffs, One of my really good candles, A pair of her panty hose, what I thought was my really nice black handled stirring spoon and two of my books on BDSM and Seduction.....

Hum... I know the GF was there last weeked. I am snickering but there are some things a mom just does not need to know..

It gets worse.. well hell, while I am in there.. the computer is on. so I check out his email and what do I see.. He email from a undergroud fetish board here in the area and I get all acccess to his underground persona.....

OH DEAR LORD! The apple does not fall far from the tree I suppose..

A few hours later. My son seees that I have put away his laundry... and ask me what I did with his spoon.???  He then informs me that it is his spoon bought for specific purpose and I should return it but thanks for the great books on the book shelf, he found them to be very helpful........

OMG! Laughing hysterically and trying to play it cool..

Must resist urge to feed the troll...

It could be a positive thing, opening up the lines for better communication between mother and son.

And if he is 21, what the fuck is he doing living at home with mommy? I guess that apple has worms.

First. He is at home living with mom getting back on his feet because like ALL of us he did not make some of the best choices... He is working and saving his money and in school to get back on his feet again..

Now as to reading his email. No I should not have done it... but ya know we had an open and honest talk about it.. Far better then most of the kids I know that keep all kinds of secrets from thier parents...

I give him plenty of privacy, I do not go snooping on a regular basis. I put his laundry away and it was on his computer screen. But having said that. Its my damn house and I pay the damn bills I will go into his room any damn time I feel the urge... and if he does not like it he can move out.......

before you are so quick to judge you should ask more questions........................

HELL no, duos with my kid is sick, twisted and disgusting.. Anyone to suggest such a thing is out of their mind..

So........Jess posts something for comedy relief, no one knows her or her sons situation and with this economy, no one should start throwing stones. Bad things happen to people sometimes and adjustments have to be made. WHAT she does for her son, ie putting laundry away, cooking or even helping to pay for school, is her business. I don't necessarily agree with the snooping, but curiosity can sometimes get the best of anyone, especially with their kids. What I find truly funny is all the alias names popping up on this post....something we do not normally have a lot of here on our NORMALLY congenial Carolina Board. Why for this post...someone got something against Jess? If so, be Man or Woman enough to hash it out like adults and not with attacks concerning incest, that is just pathetic and low. Come on Carolina Board....we are better than that!
And NO, I have never met Jess and have no reason to post this other than because I am disgusted with how people have been on here!

Jess......Hope you don't stop postin on here because of some ignorant fools!

Respectful Member of the Carolina Boys Club!

Degen

-- Modified on 4/27/2012 1:17:34 PM

That's disgusting.

Seriously, if you have to hide behind an alias, don't bother, or go to another board.

Like your mother use to say, if you don't have anything good to say, then don't say it if you can't live with it.  Or something like that

Hey, its almost drinking time.  Of course, it is after 5:00 somewhere in the world, so why wait !

This response is probably going to cost me my Dear Hondo column but I don't give a damn!! First off Jessica was sharing a personal and what I found to be a very humorous story and I thought she handled it very well.  However your reply has now earned you the nickname little john!! What she was doing wasn't considered snooping, she was simply putting away his laundry and like she said it is her place.  I don't condone reading the email but I don't think that was a cardinal sin.  Lots of us have over 20 year Olds living at home.   In my case I have a 25 year old at home who just graduated from college and is trying to find a job.I also have a 22 year old who son who will be graduating from nursing school next month.  Both of them help with the cooking and do lots of chores so I am okay with it.

Since you feel so inclined to judge others it is only fair that we should be able to judge you also!!

Jessica is as good as they come. She is a wonderful lady and a caring mom. Hell I have my youngest son( 33 ) and his family living with me. Times are hard for all.

Perhaps something like "Ask Dr Hondo" sounds a little more manly.

Just do me a big favor. Please don't post a family portrait.

Needless to say, the grounding and lectures did not help.

it but I remember it was someone that wasn't brave enough to use their "normal" name.  You know what I mean.  One of those anonymous drive by "snipers".

dogged eared copy of Playboy magazine.  Seems kind of innocent now.

than have my mom totally disrespect me by going through my e-mails for the sole purpose of being nosey and then broadcasting my personal interests on the internet....on a board such as this.

If it were me and my son, I would have pretended like I didn't see a thing and would have bought a new spoon and whatever else that was in the drawer that I'd like to have back. I sure wouldn't have told ANYBODY about it, out of respect for my son

I'm horrified by this entire thread (almost). Everything from the origional post to most of the responses



-- Modified on 4/29/2012 11:07:30 AM

I called my parents to thank them for all their support. I know when I go to visit them in a few more weeks, I can leave my computer out, my purse out, and my luggage open and out.....and no one but me will go through any of it

While trying to  have a conversation with my dad, he took the reciever and up it up to the dog so that I could talk to her LOL! Families aren't perfect. Mine is pretty querky. But we love, support, and respect each other...and that works for us

Which happens so much I Don't know why I preface it anymore....It's kind of a given now.

Parenthood has a way of making you do things you swear you never would before you had them. You invest alot of your life in them and you want them to turn out ok so you obsess a little too much sometimes. To be honest, us parents aren't going to give much credence to advice from a non-parent. That may not be fair or right, but that's the way it is.

When I was baby sitting growing up, I didn't snoop

When I go visit family (young and old) I don't snoop

When my visitors are in my shower, I don't snoop through their pockets

I still have a key to my formers house. Why? because he trusts me. One of the many reasons he is comfortable with me being in his home is because I don't snoop

Being a parent or not being a parent, respecting someones privacy is a big deal (unless there is just cause)

I may not be a parent, but I am a daughter and I can tell you for sure.....If my parents didn't respect my privacy through the years, we wouldn't have the respect for each other that we have today. And quite frankly, the reason I feel I am so good about respecting other people's privacy and not snooping is because my parents set a good example for me.

My parents are part of the greatest generation that ever lived. I guess my parents values are just not the norm anymore. Times are changing







-- Modified on 4/29/2012 7:24:17 PM

I'd stress the exact point that you just made Julia. I mentioned it very briefly then moved on to the snooping. People I thought I could trust (exculding my family)  snooped through my things in the past and it hurt. I felt violated and betrayed. That's why I got stuck on that point.

But you are so right Julia. I bring up my family, but I feel what I bring up is vague. Also I feel what I bring up is nothing overly personal that would make my family members feel violated, betrayed, or put them in danger.

You have a cool head Julia. I wish I had that quality.

Marie





-- Modified on 5/1/2012 6:11:58 AM

OP wasn't snooping she was putting his laundry in his drawer and saw it... I have had a simular situation of inadvertant snooping...

One time my daughter gave me her computer to fix because she had a virus that would keep opening pop-ups. anyway, so I run through the tools to fix it and when it goes to restart it pops an error for open application.  I go to the app and it is the recorder for webcam. the video screen was a womens crotch with a finger buried inside. At first I was like wow! then I recognized the ring and was like SHIT!
not what I needed to see...