Ya know I tried this once before with little to no response (well actually no response I mean ya could hear the crickets) from the gals. Think it was about 6 months ago and we seem to have a diffrent crowd here now so maybe I can finally get my dream off the ground!!  
   
 Ladies do you feel something's missing? Does the biz ever get ya down? Ever feel like you do so much for us lucky Carolina guys and you just don't feel appreciated? Ever wish that for once someone would focus on you're needs and desires the way you do for us hairy ogres?  
   
 Well look no further today is you're lucky day!!! I am proud to announce the grand opening of Case's Elite Companion Service!! Yes gals you read that right, you're eyes are not deceiving you, I know it seems too good to be true but it's not. Ladies the dream you never had can come true!! Imagine being swept off you're feet by an average looking guy who can deliver what is probally not the worst sex ya ever had!! (Maybe a close second but not the worst). Just think my Elite Service can handle all you're needs, it's one stop shopping! Need the AC fixed or oil in the car changed? Want to lounge in a hammock and watch an average Joe mow  you're lawn before he ravishes you? Then book today!!! Ever have that fantasy of a fella messing up you're living room, laying on the couch watching football and eating Doritos? Today's you're lucky day!!  
   
 Several packages available!!  
   
 The lawn boy  
   
 The annoying AC guy  
   
 Lazy drunk slob!!  
   
 The camo wearing Duck Dynasty reject (most requested sorry no beard)  
   
 If one of these don't fit you're fantasies I can tailor a custom package for ya!!  
   
 And as a special gift the first 100 ladies to respond get a huge discount!!! (Free)  
   
 Call today before I become a backpage statistic!!!  
   
 All right fellas let the flameing begin, gals if this made ya laugh it was worth it!!

-- Modified on 9/6/2013 1:32:14 PM