So all you other married fellas out there what's the strangest thing you've done to hide you're mongering from you're SO?

Here's a couple of mine.

I work a blue collar type repair job so if I come home after a supposed 12 hour day smelling better than when I left  home a red flag is gonna fly. I typically do outcalls so I can get cleaned up and changed before my "date" arrives. Then after she leaves I'll put the work duds back on and slip out a side door and go home. I keep a can of WD-40 in the truck and spray my self with it. Dirty oil smell is dirty oil smell to a woman so crisis diverted.

Once my cover was fishing with a guy at work that my wife will probally never meet, never use folks she might talk to for cover that's like rule number 1. So after several hours of wineing, dining and debauchary I throwed on the fishing clothes and was going to stop at the grocery store and by some fresh fish and rub on my arms and shirt to sell my story. Well we had trouble with the boat LOL so I was out later than expected (damn that was fun!!) so best I could do was a can of sardines from a gas station. Luckily fish smell is fish smell, she can't tell between canned sardines and High Rock's finest crappie.  

Good times good times!!!!

Lets see who else here is a creative type.

Stop at the station on the way home, to top off the tank, and spill a bit.  Gas smell covers up anything.    And, it gives you a good excuse to wash up good after you get home!

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Ok Case.... So I went to Tampa for business and went to a good strip club there. Cutting the story short, but she ended up at room later.  After a good visit, she was gone and next morning BAMMM a hicky on the neck... and then the WTF's came out for a little bit... So i still had 2 days of work there and now the race was on to get it gone.. out comes the toothpaste, ice, hairbrush and anything else I googled to  try... for 2 (TWO) days of working on it.. then the flight home looking at it as it was better but still reddish... Luckily one of my best friends was picking me up.. as we got going as friends do.. we conjured a story that he needed help with a part of his business in hickory.. stayed the night there and played it off and with the smoothness of a friend ... it worked...

Nice dude!! Way to think on the fly!!! I once had to come up with an elaborate story about crawling through this God awful tunnel with pipes and shit to explain some very suspicious looking scratches on my back. Always have to be thinking!! Thanks for the story!!