Answered an ad today and the reason I answered it was that it included the words "no strings attached." But no fool I, I called first and asked what "no strings attached" meant. The exchange went like this:
Lady: It means what it says, honey.
Me: Does it mean open-minded?
Lady (noncommittally): Uh-huh, basically.
Me: And that means? . . .
Lady: It means you're gonna have a good time, baby.
Me (after a pause): Okay, in some ads, that means that there's no upcharge for a visit to the Greek Isles.
Lady: No, you'd need to make an additional gift of XXX roses.
Me: Okay, does "no strings attached" mean, well, the same thing as GFE?
Lady (like a broken record): Uh-huh, basically.
Me: And that means no need to use a cover for -
Lady (interrupting): Oh, no. No no, no no! You have to use a cover for everything. Oh no, oh no.
Me (after a pause): Okay, another meaning of GFE is, deep French kissing allowed.
Lady: Ewww! No, no way, honey.
Me: Okay, so what does "no strings attached" actually mean?
Lady: It means you're gonna have a real good time, baby.
At that point I asked about the required donation, and I was told an amount that was on the high side for the half-hour visit we'd been discussing. I nicely told the gal I'd think about it, and after we got off the phone I sent her a short text that read as follows:
Hun, your ad promises "no strings attached" but when u and I just spoke, it sounded as if your idea of "no strings attached" really means "all limits applicable." I'll have to pass.
Was I out of line? Is there some definition of "no strings attached" of which I'm unaware?
BobstonBobbert
